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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ

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(ELECTRICAL BUZZING)

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(PHONE RINGING)

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Fuego del Culo.

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Girl, if it itches, it's crabs.

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("SHAPESHIFT"
BY HAVEMORALS PLAYS)

8
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♪<i> I switched the game</i>
<i> No time for playing</i> ♪

9
00:00:59,552 --> 00:01:01,122
♪<i> I'm redefined</i> ♪

10
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♪<i> Now I'ma transform</i> ♪

11
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♪<i> Right in front</i>
<i> Of all your eyes</i> ♪

12
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♪<i> I shapeshift</i> ♪

13
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Hey, girl.
You want some brown liquor?

14
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Brown liquor
don't make this pussy pop.

15
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Tequila it is.

16
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Here you go.
Mm.

17
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<i> !Viva la revolución!</i>

18
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Now, that shit right there make

19
00:01:25,547 --> 00:01:27,215
my pussy pop
on a handstand!

20
00:01:27,384 --> 00:01:28,952
So, what are you doing here
anyway?

21
00:01:29,154 --> 00:01:31,087
What do you think
I'm doing here?

22
00:01:31,255 --> 00:01:32,748
I'm starring
in the opening scene.

23
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Been there, done that.
(PHONE BUZZES)

24
00:01:35,460 --> 00:01:37,662
RINGTONE:<i> Pick up the phone!</i>
<i>Pick up the pho--</i>

25
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:39,922
Richie?
<i> Teyana. Hi.</i>

26
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<i> I thought it'd be easier</i>
<i> for the audience</i>

27
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<i>if they didn't have to read</i>
<i>more texts.</i>

28
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Yeah, that makes sense.
'Cause you know
these motherfuckers can't read.

29
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I know who goes to see
a Wayans Brothers movie.

30
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RICHIE:<i> Well, it's nice</i>
<i> to phone-meet you</i>

31
00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:53,439
<i>in this super awkward way.</i>

32
00:01:53,607 --> 00:01:55,280
Likewise.
But I got to be honest.

33
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When I seen your profile pic,
a bitch almost swiped left

34
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because you look mad goofy.

35
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But surprisingly,

36
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:04,021
you know them goofy niggas
got big dicks, so here we are.

37
00:02:04,223 --> 00:02:05,688
RICHIE:
<i>I take you for a Jersey girl.</i>

38
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A Jersey girl?

39
00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:09,118
Listen, I love Jersey down.

40
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But I'm a Harlem girl.
Born and motherfucking raised.

41
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Real niggas only. Yeah.

42
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RICHIE:<i> Oh, so you're Black.</i>

43
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No, motherfucker!

44
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I'm BLACK!
(DINERS GASP)

45
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TEYANA: All caps.

46
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No cap, but caps.

47
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Fuck all y'all!

48
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Bitch,
spit them pearls back out.

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(WOMAN GAGS)

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I ain't want your shit.

51
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Hello.
<i> So tell me,</i>

52
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,286
<i> what's your favorite</i>
<i> scary movie?</i>

53
00:02:37,455 --> 00:02:39,517
Mm... I don't really do them,
you know.

54
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All the stupid tropes and shit.

55
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Why is it always
the white bitch at the end?

56
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Because they know
it is too hard
to kill a sista.

57
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Y'know what I'm sayin'?
Cause if the sista can survive

58
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government cheese,
we can survive anything.

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(RICHIE CHUCKLES)

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RICHIE:<i> You know, it might help</i>
<i> if you met me outside.</i>

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Met you outside?
Boy, you is needy!

62
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What's your sign?
You must be a Scorpio.

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RICHIE:<i> How'd you know?</i>

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Good dick though.
But toxic as hell.

65
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RICHIE:<i> Hey, is the restaurant</i>
<i> near an alley?</i>

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00:03:03,513 --> 00:03:06,147
Yes, hurry
before they rob your ass.

67
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Roses?
Ah! Not today.

68
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Cheap bitch.
Heard you, ho.

69
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RICHIE:<i> Okay, I'm--</i>
<i> I'm coming down the alley now.</i>

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I'm here.
Can you see me? I'm waving.

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RICHIE:<i> No.</i>

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<i>The person I'm looking at</i>
<i>is not waving.</i>

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<i>In fact,</i>
<i>they're just staring at me.</i>

74
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Well, stare at his ass back!

75
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And don't blink. Never blink.

76
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You got to scrunch your lips
and be like, "What?"

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RICHIE:<i> No, they're walking</i>
<i>towards me now.</i>

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00:03:28,999 --> 00:03:31,107
<i>Hold on.</i>
<i>Oh no, they have a knife!</i>

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Well, don't lead his ass
over here.

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RICHIE:
<i> And that's not the worst part.</i>

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(BEEP, TONE)

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(VOICE DISTORTS) The worst part
is you know so much

83
00:03:38,845 --> 00:03:41,082
about horror movies
and yet you still

84
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walked into the alley alone.

85
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Yeah, well the worst part is,

86
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you fucking with
a New York bitch. Cuckoo!

87
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Yeah!

88
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(TEYANA WHOOPING)

89
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TEYANA:
Cuckoo, cuckoo!

90
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(GRUNTS)
TEYANA: Cuckoo!

91
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(GRUNTS)

92
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(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)

93
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GHOSTFACE: Damn!
She's on some Avengers shit!

94
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(BELL DINGS)

95
00:04:16,747 --> 00:04:18,213
(BELL DINGING)

96
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(BELL DINGS)

97
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Seriously, Larry?

98
00:04:23,394 --> 00:04:24,591
I ain't recognize
your bird call.

99
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Thought you was going
more with a-- (COOS)

100
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That's a pigeon, nigga!
Supposed to be, "Cuckoo!"

101
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Cuckoo!
A hawk swooping in an attack!

102
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My bad.

103
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GHOSTFACE: Are you done?

104
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What the hell?

105
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(GROUP CHUCKLES)

106
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Bitch, I'm Teyana Taylor.
My abs got abs.

107
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Get him!

108
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GHOSTFACE: Ow! My arm! My arm!
(GLASS SHATTERS)

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Get in there!

110
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GHOSTFACE: Come on, guys,
we can work this out.

111
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(MEN JEERING)

112
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(GRUNTS)

113
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(GRUNTING)

114
00:04:55,051 --> 00:04:56,651
GHOSTFACE:
Somebody help me!

115
00:04:56,820 --> 00:04:58,162
MAN: Do it, Larry!

116
00:04:58,365 --> 00:04:59,991
GHOSTFACE: No, no, no--
(GRUNTS)

117
00:05:01,066 --> 00:05:02,263
MAN 2: Hi-yah!

118
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GHOSTFACE: Ow! Oh, God!

119
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All right, all right,
all right, all right!

120
00:05:06,031 --> 00:05:07,867
We out.
Get your hardheaded ass on.

121
00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:10,765
Welcome to New York, sucker!

122
00:05:10,934 --> 00:05:12,174
GHOSTFACE: Hey, Teyana.

123
00:05:12,343 --> 00:05:13,738
You might have kicked my ass,

124
00:05:13,907 --> 00:05:16,540
but you still didn't win
that Oscar.

125
00:05:16,743 --> 00:05:18,446
What you say about my Oscar?

126
00:05:18,614 --> 00:05:21,345
GHOSTFACE:
Did I stutter? You lost!

127
00:05:21,547 --> 00:05:22,813
You right.

128
00:05:22,982 --> 00:05:24,884
But I won
that Golden Globe, bitch.

129
00:05:25,785 --> 00:05:27,489
GIRL:
Oh, my God! Really?

130
00:05:27,658 --> 00:05:29,025
That's why I never watched
Horror Movie.

131
00:05:29,227 --> 00:05:30,593
It's fucking terrible.

132
00:05:30,761 --> 00:05:33,126
Just a bunch
of celebrity cameos
and fart gags.

133
00:05:33,295 --> 00:05:34,595
(SIGHS)

134
00:05:34,764 --> 00:05:35,957
GIRL ON PHONE:
<i>So, you don't like parodies?</i>

135
00:05:36,126 --> 00:05:37,825
I'm more into
Judd Apatow films.

136
00:05:37,994 --> 00:05:40,534
You know, elevated comedy.

137
00:05:40,702 --> 00:05:42,797
GIRL:
<i>And what is elevated comedy?</i>

138
00:05:42,966 --> 00:05:44,366
Mm.
(INHALER CLATTERS)

139
00:05:44,534 --> 00:05:45,672
The kind that doesn't actually
make anyone laugh,

140
00:05:45,841 --> 00:05:47,306
but makes white people
feel smart.

141
00:05:47,474 --> 00:05:48,380
(DOORBELL RINGS)

142
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GIRL:<i> Tuesday,</i>
<i> don't answer that!</i>

143
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,476
It could be Ghostface.

144
00:05:52,645 --> 00:05:54,219
Oh, come on, Elle!

145
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:56,355
Stuff like that
only happens in the movies.

146
00:05:59,124 --> 00:06:00,456
GHOSTFACE: Oh, hey.

147
00:06:00,625 --> 00:06:02,854
I wasn't expecting you
to answer the door.

148
00:06:03,023 --> 00:06:06,028
What the fuck?
Now where is my knife?

149
00:06:06,197 --> 00:06:07,997
Ah, here it is.

150
00:06:08,166 --> 00:06:10,734
Hello, Tuesday.

151
00:06:10,903 --> 00:06:12,998
(SCREAMS)

152
00:06:14,206 --> 00:06:16,232
("MESSY" BY REDD. PLAYS)

153
00:06:19,577 --> 00:06:21,637
♪<i> I really wanna get messy</i> ♪

154
00:06:21,806 --> 00:06:23,338
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

155
00:06:23,540 --> 00:06:25,845
♪<i> Don't care what I'm doing</i>
<i>Next week</i> ♪

156
00:06:26,047 --> 00:06:28,916
♪<i> You really don't wanna</i>
<i> Test me</i> ♪

157
00:06:29,118 --> 00:06:31,586
♪<i> Just pass the drinks</i>
<i> And get sexy</i> ♪

158
00:06:31,789 --> 00:06:34,390
♪<i> Get messy</i>
<i> Baby, get messy</i> ♪

159
00:06:34,559 --> 00:06:37,594
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
Hey, miss.

160
00:06:38,657 --> 00:06:39,821
What'd you take?

161
00:06:39,990 --> 00:06:41,690
Just Ritalin for my ADHD.

162
00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:43,266
Adderall for PTSD.

163
00:06:43,468 --> 00:06:45,532
A couple of Xanax
for my anxiety.

164
00:06:45,701 --> 00:06:47,538
And your boner pills.
(GIGGLES)

165
00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:50,934
So good luck
getting it up now.
(DENIM STRAINS)

166
00:06:51,137 --> 00:06:53,740
JACK: Jesus, Sara,
how many did you take?

167
00:06:53,909 --> 00:06:55,670
I don't know.
How many come in a bottle?

168
00:06:55,839 --> 00:06:57,410
(PHONE RINGS)

169
00:06:57,579 --> 00:06:59,084
Hey, Jess.
<i> Sara,</i>

170
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:00,608
<i> Tuesday's in the hospital.</i>

171
00:07:00,777 --> 00:07:04,054
<i> She was stabbed. By a killer--</i>
<i> you know, Ghostface.</i>

172
00:07:04,223 --> 00:07:05,556
Wait. From Wu-Tang?

173
00:07:05,724 --> 00:07:07,853
Why would Ghostface Killah
aka Pretty Toney

174
00:07:08,022 --> 00:07:10,153
aka Starky Love
want to stab my sister?

175
00:07:10,355 --> 00:07:12,429
JESS:<i> God, Sara,</i>
<i>it wasn't Ghostface Killah.</i>

176
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:14,260
<i> It was somebody</i>
<i> in a Ghostface mask.</i>

177
00:07:14,429 --> 00:07:15,461
Oh! (CHUCKLES)

178
00:07:15,664 --> 00:07:17,430
Okay, that makes more sense.

179
00:07:17,598 --> 00:07:20,036
(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTS)

180
00:07:20,205 --> 00:07:21,001
(SARA GRUNTING)

181
00:07:21,203 --> 00:07:22,067
Hah!

182
00:07:23,066 --> 00:07:25,337
I ain't the one! (HOCKS)

183
00:07:25,539 --> 00:07:26,975
(GRUNTS)
Oh!

184
00:07:27,178 --> 00:07:28,075
Jesus, Jack!

185
00:07:28,244 --> 00:07:29,579
What?

186
00:07:29,748 --> 00:07:31,711
I was thinking about
wearing this for Halloween.

187
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:33,308
My estranged
flat-chested half-sister

188
00:07:33,477 --> 00:07:35,381
was nearly killed
by a psycho in a ghost mask.

189
00:07:35,550 --> 00:07:36,817
(DISTANT SCREAMING)

190
00:07:36,986 --> 00:07:39,718
I got to go see her
and make up for the past.

191
00:07:39,887 --> 00:07:41,519
Whoa-- Hey, hey, hey.
(GASPS)

192
00:07:41,721 --> 00:07:42,920
I'm going with you.

193
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,527
Not because
I'm the obvious killer

194
00:07:44,729 --> 00:07:46,088
trying to lure you back
to your hometown.

195
00:07:46,256 --> 00:07:47,823
I'm just
the supportive boyfriend.

196
00:07:47,991 --> 00:07:49,263
Yeah.
That's all.

197
00:07:49,432 --> 00:07:50,498
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

198
00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:52,296
Okay, let's go. Get in the car.

199
00:07:52,465 --> 00:07:55,474
SARA: Listen, we just have
to make one stop on the way.

200
00:07:56,339 --> 00:07:58,268
I survived.

201
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:00,342
All thanks to my lucky penny.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

202
00:08:00,511 --> 00:08:01,909
("HOES" BY LIZZO PLAYS)

203
00:08:02,111 --> 00:08:04,044
♪<i> The world would be</i>
<i> Boring as fuck</i> ♪

204
00:08:04,246 --> 00:08:06,212
♪<i> Without big booty</i>
<i>Real hoochie mamas like me</i> ♪

205
00:08:06,414 --> 00:08:08,553
♪<i> Grabbing ankles</i>
<i> Throwing ass on ATVs</i> ♪

206
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,754
♪<i> Make 'em say "uh"</i>
<i> I got Master P</i> ♪

207
00:08:10,956 --> 00:08:13,085
♪<i> Doggy-style, look here,</i>
<i>That's masterpiece</i> ♪

208
00:08:13,287 --> 00:08:14,989
♪<i> I don't wanna be</i>
<i> In no sausage fest</i> ♪

209
00:08:15,192 --> 00:08:17,529
♪<i> Where my ladies at?</i>
<i> Throw it east to west</i> ♪

210
00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:19,561
♪<i> Wow, wow, wow, wow</i>
<i> I'm impressed</i> ♪

211
00:08:19,763 --> 00:08:20,823
♪<i> Booty up down, up down...</i> ♪

212
00:08:20,992 --> 00:08:23,029
(MUSIC CONTINUES, MUFFLED)

213
00:08:25,803 --> 00:08:29,464
I hate when y'all leave!
Come give me a hug.

214
00:08:29,633 --> 00:08:32,707
Ma, come on, turn off
this ratchet-ass music.

215
00:08:32,910 --> 00:08:35,343
It's embarrassing,
especially for Black women.

216
00:08:35,511 --> 00:08:36,745
It's not embarrassing.

217
00:08:36,947 --> 00:08:38,544
I'm the cool ma everybody wish
they had.

218
00:08:38,746 --> 00:08:40,011
I'm lit!
Don't forget,

219
00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:41,949
I got practice later
so I'll be home late.

220
00:08:42,117 --> 00:08:43,511
You only made the team
because you're Black

221
00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:45,649
and those racist fucks
assumed you could play.

222
00:08:45,818 --> 00:08:47,852
Mm.
It's 2026.

223
00:08:48,021 --> 00:08:49,390
I don't think race is an issue.

224
00:08:49,592 --> 00:08:50,926
Do you read Black Twitter?

225
00:08:51,128 --> 00:08:52,322
No.

226
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:53,857
Ugh, Brad,

227
00:08:54,026 --> 00:08:55,691
are you still dating that ho?

228
00:08:55,860 --> 00:08:56,695
GIRL: Okay.

229
00:08:56,864 --> 00:08:58,227
Stop ho-shaming her, heiffa.

230
00:08:58,396 --> 00:08:59,900
(SCOFFS)
Just because Darrel and them

231
00:09:00,069 --> 00:09:01,900
ran a train on her
doesn't make her a ho.

232
00:09:02,103 --> 00:09:04,803
She's not a "ho",
she's "sex positive".

233
00:09:04,972 --> 00:09:06,875
Well, I'm positive she is a ho.

234
00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,872
Hey, girl! Look at you!

235
00:09:10,041 --> 00:09:11,416
Early for Halloween, huh?

236
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,378
What you this year?
Slutty schoolgirl?

237
00:09:13,547 --> 00:09:14,348
Ho-ey ho?

238
00:09:14,517 --> 00:09:16,417
Hi, Ms. Meeks.

239
00:09:16,586 --> 00:09:18,319
Love the hair. Very...

240
00:09:18,487 --> 00:09:19,915
Octavia Spencer.

241
00:09:20,117 --> 00:09:21,191
Well, thank you very much.

242
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:22,726
I got to invite you over

243
00:09:22,894 --> 00:09:25,226
and make you
a little shit pie.
Ooh. (CHUCKLES)

244
00:09:25,395 --> 00:09:28,089
You know what? I got to get to
African American History class.

245
00:09:28,291 --> 00:09:29,367
We're learning about slavery.

246
00:09:29,535 --> 00:09:31,894
Come to find out,
it was a choice.

247
00:09:32,063 --> 00:09:33,099
You see that right there?

248
00:09:34,033 --> 00:09:35,704
That's Kanye?
That's right.

249
00:09:35,873 --> 00:09:38,306
They've been teaching us
wrong all this time.

250
00:09:38,508 --> 00:09:39,474
Mm-hmm. Stay Black!

251
00:09:39,677 --> 00:09:42,443
Bye, Ma.
All right. Bye, baby.

252
00:09:42,645 --> 00:09:43,712
Bye, Ms. Meeks.
Bye.

253
00:09:43,881 --> 00:09:45,878
Son, I put some condoms
in your bag!

254
00:09:46,047 --> 00:09:47,610
You know how they try
to trap y'all.

255
00:09:47,779 --> 00:09:48,884
Ma!

256
00:09:51,052 --> 00:09:52,985
Okay, seriously,
"Sheriff Greg",

257
00:09:53,188 --> 00:09:54,789
you don't have to walk me
to class. I'm fine.

258
00:09:54,958 --> 00:09:57,762
Jess, there's a serial killer
on the loose.

259
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,461
I'm not gonna let anything
happen to my baby girl.

260
00:10:00,630 --> 00:10:02,559
Boy! Okay? I'm a baby boy!

261
00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:04,064
I'm sorry!

262
00:10:04,233 --> 00:10:05,969
I'm having a
hard time with this transition.

263
00:10:06,171 --> 00:10:09,434
Okay, it's really simple.
Treat me like one of the guys.

264
00:10:09,603 --> 00:10:10,804
Okay?

265
00:10:10,973 --> 00:10:13,311
All right. I-I can do that.
Yeah.

266
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,673
Slap fight. (CHUCKLES)
(SCOFFS) Oh.

267
00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:16,848
You call that a slap?

268
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,245
(GROANS)

269
00:10:18,414 --> 00:10:19,450
Whew.

270
00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:21,078
What the hell
did you do that for?

271
00:10:21,247 --> 00:10:24,121
Don't act like such a bitch.
(GRUNTS)

272
00:10:24,289 --> 00:10:25,783
(LAUGHS) Bitch.

273
00:10:25,951 --> 00:10:28,253
(STUDENTS CHATTERING)

274
00:10:28,955 --> 00:10:31,157
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, not bad.

275
00:10:33,963 --> 00:10:35,491
JACK:
Who the hell lives like this?

276
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:50,447
Oh, honey,
it is so good to see you!

277
00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:52,340
Come in! Do you want some tea?

278
00:10:52,543 --> 00:10:55,209
Oh, my God, Mother.
You look like shit!

279
00:10:55,411 --> 00:10:56,952
(SIGHS)
JACK: Babe, please.

280
00:10:57,121 --> 00:10:58,580
This is clearly a woman
who's run out of conditioner.

281
00:10:58,749 --> 00:11:00,751
Oh, be careful where you walk.
The whole place

282
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:02,354
is booby-trapped.

283
00:11:02,523 --> 00:11:04,557
You never know when
that psycho's gonna come back.

284
00:11:04,759 --> 00:11:06,458
(GROANS)
Come in.

285
00:11:06,627 --> 00:11:07,798
Okay.

286
00:11:10,928 --> 00:11:11,967
(SCREAMS)

287
00:11:14,230 --> 00:11:16,768
(YELPS, GRUNTS)

288
00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:19,469
(WEAKLY) I hate this job.

289
00:11:21,710 --> 00:11:23,044
JACK: Mrs. Campbell,

290
00:11:23,846 --> 00:11:25,977
I'm Jack, Sara's boyfriend.

291
00:11:26,146 --> 00:11:27,877
I've heard so much about you...

292
00:11:28,046 --> 00:11:29,215
Uh, none of it good.

293
00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:32,489
I have heard nothing
about you, Jack.

294
00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:34,354
I assume
you're a piece of shit.

295
00:11:34,523 --> 00:11:37,492
But how would I know when
I haven't heard
from my daughter

296
00:11:37,660 --> 00:11:39,493
in, what, six months?

297
00:11:39,662 --> 00:11:41,331
Six years, Mother.

298
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,198
And whose fault is that?

299
00:11:43,367 --> 00:11:45,968
"And whose fault is that?"
I don't know, maybe it's yours!

300
00:11:46,602 --> 00:11:47,870
That's fair.

301
00:11:48,039 --> 00:11:50,766
We want to learn
from the horror you survived.

302
00:11:50,968 --> 00:11:51,737
Look...

303
00:11:51,973 --> 00:11:53,743
<i>Scary Movie 3</i> and<i> 4</i>

304
00:11:53,945 --> 00:11:55,545
paid me
a lot of money for a girl--

305
00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:57,673
There is nothing
to learn there.

306
00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:00,448
But if you want to talk
about<i> The House Bunny,</i> shoot.

307
00:12:00,650 --> 00:12:02,215
It's happening again!

308
00:12:02,384 --> 00:12:05,686
Some asshole in a mask.
We have to stop him.

309
00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:07,790
You're not ready, lovebug.

310
00:12:07,992 --> 00:12:11,152
I have been preparing
for this for years.

311
00:12:11,321 --> 00:12:12,894
Sacrificed everything.

312
00:12:13,063 --> 00:12:16,026
You were a terrible mother.
Come on, honey

313
00:12:16,195 --> 00:12:17,892
we had some good times.

314
00:12:18,061 --> 00:12:21,932
Like that Christmas I took you
to meet Santa at the mall.

315
00:12:22,101 --> 00:12:23,299
("JINGLE BELLS" PLAYS)

316
00:12:23,501 --> 00:12:25,643
♪<i> Dashing through the snow</i> ♪

317
00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:28,913
♪<i> In a one-horse open sleigh</i> ♪

318
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,279
♪<i> O'er the fields we go...</i> ♪
Your turn, Sara.

319
00:12:31,448 --> 00:12:32,344
Move!

320
00:12:32,977 --> 00:12:34,375
Hi, Santa.

321
00:12:34,544 --> 00:12:37,716
Sorry if I don't
sit in your lap.

322
00:12:37,885 --> 00:12:39,319
You creep me out.

323
00:12:39,522 --> 00:12:41,892
♪<i> How fun it is</i>
<i> To ride and sing...</i> ♪

324
00:12:46,958 --> 00:12:47,898
SARA: Mom?

325
00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:50,697
Santa gave me a severed arm!

326
00:12:50,865 --> 00:12:52,595
Be sure to thank him.

327
00:12:53,538 --> 00:12:55,873
(CHILDREN CHEERING)

328
00:12:57,674 --> 00:12:58,667
(CHILDREN CLAMORING)

329
00:12:59,302 --> 00:13:01,278
GIRL: Is that a foot?

330
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,007
Ew, that's gross.

331
00:13:03,210 --> 00:13:04,247
♪<i> One horse open...</i> ♪

332
00:13:04,416 --> 00:13:05,546
What the fuck?

333
00:13:05,715 --> 00:13:07,618
(CHILDREN SCREAMING)

334
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,820
(SCREAMS FADING)
CINDY:<i> I am sorry</i>

335
00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:12,721
if that's how you found out
Santa doesn't exist.

336
00:13:12,890 --> 00:13:14,816
Ugh, Mother, I need your help!

337
00:13:14,985 --> 00:13:18,153
To heal our emotional wounds
and put the past behind us?

338
00:13:18,321 --> 00:13:19,961
(SNORTS) Oh, God, no.

339
00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:22,630
(CHUCKLES)
No, to kill Ghostface!

340
00:13:22,798 --> 00:13:24,299
Do you have any guns?

341
00:13:24,468 --> 00:13:25,502
(SCOFFS)

342
00:13:25,671 --> 00:13:28,295
I am Cindy fucking Campbell.

343
00:13:28,464 --> 00:13:30,074
I've got millions of guns!

344
00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:31,101
But, um,

345
00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:32,840
none of them are registered

346
00:13:33,009 --> 00:13:35,111
due to my mental health issues.

347
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,943
So, if you could just keep that
on the low-- (YELPS)

348
00:13:39,112 --> 00:13:41,044
JACK: Okay.
CINDY: Oh!

349
00:13:41,246 --> 00:13:42,611
Yeah, I'm gonna be fine.

350
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,314
I didn't hurt myself
on any of these spikes.

351
00:13:44,483 --> 00:13:45,346
("KISS OR KILL"
BY STELA COLE PLAYS)

352
00:13:45,548 --> 00:13:49,794
♪<i> K-I-S-S-I-N-G</i> ♪

353
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,520
♪<i> Me and you</i>
<i>We're sitting in a tree</i> ♪

354
00:13:52,722 --> 00:13:54,531
Oh, hey,
so I spoke to Sara earlier.

355
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:55,994
Oh, is she coming?
You know,

356
00:13:56,163 --> 00:13:57,533
I did hear
a buzzing sound.

357
00:13:57,735 --> 00:13:59,334
So it's possible.
No.

358
00:13:59,503 --> 00:14:02,240
I meant
to Woodsville, dumbass.
Oh. Yeah, I forgot to ask.

359
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:03,970
Hey, Jimbo! Go deep!

360
00:14:04,139 --> 00:14:04,900
Yeah, yeah!
Throw it, throw it!

361
00:14:05,102 --> 00:14:06,871
Oh!

362
00:14:07,073 --> 00:14:08,209
Sweet! (CHUCKLES)

363
00:14:08,977 --> 00:14:10,307
Speaking of going deep...

364
00:14:10,476 --> 00:14:12,343
Uh, I don't know
if it's a good time.

365
00:14:12,512 --> 00:14:14,118
Everyone knows
what happens to teenagers

366
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:15,718
who try to make love when
there's a killer on the loose.

367
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,414
Brad's right
about one thing, guys.

368
00:14:17,616 --> 00:14:20,016
Okay, Ghostface is back.
We need to arm up.

369
00:14:20,185 --> 00:14:22,616
Pepper spray, check.

370
00:14:22,785 --> 00:14:24,493
Taser, check.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)

371
00:14:24,662 --> 00:14:26,189
(POP)
Butt plug,

372
00:14:26,358 --> 00:14:27,726
double check.
(SQUELCHES)

373
00:14:27,895 --> 00:14:28,996
BRAD: Goddamn!

374
00:14:29,164 --> 00:14:30,830
You just carry that thing
around?

375
00:14:30,998 --> 00:14:32,497
It's easy to hide.

376
00:14:35,707 --> 00:14:38,074
In your butt.
(SIGHS)

377
00:14:38,709 --> 00:14:40,208
I'm impressed.

378
00:14:49,546 --> 00:14:52,915
What's up, y'all? I'm back!

379
00:14:53,117 --> 00:14:54,389
(GIGGLES)

380
00:14:54,558 --> 00:14:55,526
Shit, son!

381
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:57,619
Hey, what's up, Unc?
"Unc"?

382
00:14:57,821 --> 00:15:00,324
I'm tired of you
little Gen Z Alpha niggas

383
00:15:00,493 --> 00:15:02,524
using terms like "unc"
and "auntie".

384
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:05,098
Gaslighting and glazing
and glamping,

385
00:15:05,267 --> 00:15:07,131
trying to make my generation
sound old.

386
00:15:07,333 --> 00:15:08,762
I ain't your damn unc, nigga!

387
00:15:08,965 --> 00:15:11,169
Shorty, you're our
mother's brother, so, yeah,

388
00:15:11,338 --> 00:15:12,907
technically, you are our uncle.

389
00:15:13,076 --> 00:15:15,845
Oh. (GIGGLES)
My bad. (CACKLES)

390
00:15:16,014 --> 00:15:18,382
Crazy that they let you
teach here.

391
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,811
Teach? Nah, nigga.

392
00:15:21,013 --> 00:15:22,382
I attend.

393
00:15:22,550 --> 00:15:25,888
You looking at a proud
25th-year senior. (GIGGLES)

394
00:15:26,057 --> 00:15:27,458
When are you
finally gonna graduate?

395
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:28,883
By the time we do a sequel

396
00:15:29,052 --> 00:15:29,890
and I got to follow
you little young niggas

397
00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:30,989
to college to get my check.

398
00:15:31,192 --> 00:15:32,863
Wait, guys. Tuesday's awake!

399
00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:35,259
All right! Tuesday!
Who the fuck is Tuesday?

400
00:15:35,428 --> 00:15:36,592
Hey, we gotta go
to the hospital.

401
00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:39,193
You gonna take the bus home?
No. The PJ.

402
00:15:39,362 --> 00:15:40,866
Private jet?

403
00:15:41,035 --> 00:15:42,034
Yeah. Jealous?

404
00:15:42,203 --> 00:15:43,567
Man, you smoke weed all day.

405
00:15:43,736 --> 00:15:46,108
Just play video games,
you live-stream.

406
00:15:46,277 --> 00:15:47,606
You literally got money
doing nothing.

407
00:15:47,774 --> 00:15:50,942
Exactly. I leave the hard work
for the old heads.

408
00:15:51,111 --> 00:15:52,579
(GIGGLES) Shit, son!

409
00:15:52,748 --> 00:15:53,917
(GIGGLES)

410
00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:56,216
Still the same Shorty.
Aight. (CHUCKLES)

411
00:15:56,385 --> 00:15:57,954
Check my crypto, nigga.
(PHONE CHIMES)

412
00:15:58,123 --> 00:15:59,853
Aw, shit,
I'm up three million dollars!

413
00:16:00,056 --> 00:16:01,615
(CACKLES)
(PHONE BLEEPS)

414
00:16:01,784 --> 00:16:03,923
Damn,
now I'm down five million.

415
00:16:04,091 --> 00:16:06,459
This shit crazy, son.

416
00:16:14,739 --> 00:16:16,766
(ENGINE PUTTERING)

417
00:16:17,939 --> 00:16:18,801
(ENGINE CUTS)

418
00:16:28,987 --> 00:16:30,578
(MUFFLED SINGING AND CLAPPING)

419
00:16:30,780 --> 00:16:33,321
♪<i> I'm gonna let it shine</i> ♪

420
00:16:34,290 --> 00:16:37,420
♪<i> This little light of mine</i> ♪

421
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:41,055
♪<i> I'm gonna let it shine</i> ♪

422
00:16:41,257 --> 00:16:42,126
Ray!

423
00:16:42,295 --> 00:16:44,099
Sister Brenda, it's okay.

424
00:16:44,268 --> 00:16:46,395
You heard the call of sin,
yes, you did.

425
00:16:46,597 --> 00:16:47,795
But the Lord has called on us

426
00:16:47,964 --> 00:16:50,432
to show men
such like you the way.

427
00:16:50,601 --> 00:16:53,409
Come on, son! Come with us.

428
00:16:53,612 --> 00:16:54,979
Come on us.

429
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:57,872
God see you coming.
So don't cheat that come.

430
00:16:58,074 --> 00:17:02,050
We need you to come
like you never came before.

431
00:17:02,219 --> 00:17:04,021
Come for the Father,
come for the Son.

432
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,453
I'ma hold your hand
and we gonna come together.

433
00:17:06,622 --> 00:17:09,056
PARISHONER: God is good, man!
PARISHONER 2: Yes, sir.

434
00:17:09,225 --> 00:17:10,052
PARISHONER 3: Thank you, Jesus.

435
00:17:10,221 --> 00:17:11,089
Amen.

436
00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:12,057
PARISHONER 4: Hallelujah.

437
00:17:12,226 --> 00:17:13,657
(WHISPERING) There you go.

438
00:17:13,826 --> 00:17:18,833
In the name of God,
let it go, Ray! Let it go!

439
00:17:19,002 --> 00:17:19,732
Nigga!
(POPS)

440
00:17:19,935 --> 00:17:21,900
Oh, my bad.

441
00:17:22,102 --> 00:17:23,230
Last time.

442
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:24,432
(HUFFS)

443
00:17:24,634 --> 00:17:26,077
(PASTOR CLEARS THROAT)

444
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:29,913
Let's welcome a new member
to our congre-gay-tion.

445
00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:31,443
(SCATTERED PRAISE)
Let the people know

446
00:17:31,645 --> 00:17:33,715
how you feel, brother.
There you go.

447
00:17:33,884 --> 00:17:36,054
(SCATTERED CHATTER)

448
00:17:38,350 --> 00:17:40,547
I'm not gay no more.

449
00:17:40,716 --> 00:17:43,551
(CHEERING)
Hallelujah!

450
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:44,561
PARISHONER 5: Yes, sir!

451
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,027
I'm not gay no more!

452
00:17:46,196 --> 00:17:47,388
PARISHONER 6: Praise the lord!

453
00:17:47,557 --> 00:17:48,994
I'm not gay no more!

454
00:17:49,163 --> 00:17:50,425
He not gay no more.

455
00:17:50,627 --> 00:17:52,868
RAY: I've been delivered!

456
00:17:53,037 --> 00:17:55,166
I'll no longer date a mans!

457
00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:56,534
Even if he's sexy as hell

458
00:17:56,703 --> 00:17:59,108
with a big old chesteses
and perky areolas!

459
00:17:59,277 --> 00:18:00,703
Oh, yeah,
you still got a secret.

460
00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:04,373
I'll no longer
carry a purse, put on makeup,

461
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:05,447
walk around in high heels.

462
00:18:05,650 --> 00:18:06,942
What?

463
00:18:07,144 --> 00:18:09,347
Red bottoms. The one with
the cute little buckle

464
00:18:09,516 --> 00:18:11,054
on the side.
Those is my shoes.

465
00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:14,955
I'll no longer go on Grindr
and swipe right

466
00:18:15,124 --> 00:18:16,759
at Black mens...
Hmm?

467
00:18:16,928 --> 00:18:18,920
...white mens, Asian mens.

468
00:18:19,089 --> 00:18:21,394
You been on Grindr?
I'll no longer take trips

469
00:18:21,563 --> 00:18:24,297
to the Philippines
looking for ladyboys.

470
00:18:24,499 --> 00:18:27,502
To Phuket. Ko Samui.
Back to Phuket.

471
00:18:27,704 --> 00:18:29,833
Then to Vietnam to see
if I can get them any cheaper.

472
00:18:30,035 --> 00:18:32,107
I thought that was for
our anniversary, Ray.

473
00:18:32,275 --> 00:18:34,112
Oh, this nigga
got a lot of miles.

474
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,409
I'll no longer stand
butt naked in a mirror

475
00:18:36,578 --> 00:18:38,549
with my penis
tucked between my legs...

476
00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:41,375
(ALL GASP)
...dancing like the dude
from<i> Silence of the Lambs.</i>

477
00:18:41,544 --> 00:18:43,514
(AS BUFFALO BILL)
"It puts the lotion
in the basket, Precious."

478
00:18:43,716 --> 00:18:46,348
I'm a changed man!
I've been delivered!

479
00:18:46,550 --> 00:18:48,185
Shit.
I will!

480
00:18:48,387 --> 00:18:50,092
I said I will!

481
00:18:50,261 --> 00:18:52,726
I will love a woman!
(SCATTERED PRAISE)

482
00:18:52,895 --> 00:18:54,096
(EXCLAIMS)

483
00:18:54,265 --> 00:18:55,260
RAY:
Womans, womans, womans!

484
00:18:55,429 --> 00:18:57,162
You can take that "W-O" off.

485
00:18:57,365 --> 00:18:58,526
Womans, womans, womans!

486
00:18:58,728 --> 00:19:00,836
Mens-es, mens-es, mens-es.

487
00:19:01,004 --> 00:19:03,031
Womans-- (BABBLES)

488
00:19:04,005 --> 00:19:05,506
(BABBLES)

489
00:19:06,539 --> 00:19:08,236
No, no. No, no, Ray. No, no.

490
00:19:08,405 --> 00:19:10,172
(MOANING)

491
00:19:10,374 --> 00:19:11,778
(BABBLING)

492
00:19:11,947 --> 00:19:13,608
(MUMBLING)

493
00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:14,783
(HIGH-PITCHED BABBLING)

494
00:19:14,952 --> 00:19:16,311
Gulp, gulp, gulp.

495
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,779
Whoa, nigga.

496
00:19:18,948 --> 00:19:20,657
Hawk tuah,
hawk tuah, hawk tuah!

497
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,591
You hocking on it?

498
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,624
("TWERK FOR JESUS"
BY NOVA VYBE PLAYS)
I've been delivered!

499
00:19:24,826 --> 00:19:26,725
♪<i> Work, work, working it</i>
<i> For Jesus</i> ♪

500
00:19:26,927 --> 00:19:29,996
♪<i> No, the devilry is gonna</i>
<i>Stay beneath us</i> ♪

501
00:19:30,198 --> 00:19:32,834
♪<i> The good praise</i>
<i> Really bumping</i>
<i> Out your speakers</i> ♪

502
00:19:33,036 --> 00:19:35,095
♪<i> I'ma dance</i>
<i>'Cause His glory</i>
<i>Make me feel some type of way</i> ♪

503
00:19:35,297 --> 00:19:37,108
♪<i> So we be</i>
<i>Twerk, twerk, twerkin' it</i> ♪

504
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:39,034
♪<i> For Jesus</i> ♪
I've been delivered!

505
00:19:39,236 --> 00:19:41,803
♪<i> No, the devilry is gonna</i>
<i>Stay beneath us</i> ♪

506
00:19:42,005 --> 00:19:43,208
♪<i> Who make it happen?</i> ♪

507
00:19:43,411 --> 00:19:44,942
♪<i> That's Jesus</i> ♪

508
00:19:45,145 --> 00:19:46,844
♪<i> Who have us clapping?</i>
<i> That's Jesus</i> ♪

509
00:19:47,046 --> 00:19:50,179
♪<i> And the devil can't ever</i>
<i>Come between us</i> ♪

510
00:19:50,381 --> 00:19:53,352
♪<i> We out here clap, clap</i>
<i> Clapping it for Jesus</i> ♪

511
00:19:53,521 --> 00:19:56,216
(SING-SONGY) Tuesday, Tuesday.

512
00:19:57,019 --> 00:19:58,795
(GRUNTING)
SARA: Oh, my God.

513
00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:00,864
Her face. All contorted.

514
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,666
Oh, my God, and the moaning.

515
00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:04,701
(GROANS, SHUSHES)

516
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:07,403
(GRUNTS, SIGHS)

517
00:20:09,101 --> 00:20:11,203
I've been trying to get that
out for an hour. (SIGHS)

518
00:20:11,372 --> 00:20:13,376
How you feeling, Tues?

519
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,904
Hey, what are they giving you
for the pain? Is that--

520
00:20:16,073 --> 00:20:18,078
Is that morphine or...?
(TUESDAY GRUNTS)

521
00:20:18,247 --> 00:20:20,177
Bitch.
Let's see.

522
00:20:20,346 --> 00:20:21,285
(SARA GROANS)

523
00:20:22,149 --> 00:20:24,216
Oh, yeah!

524
00:20:24,385 --> 00:20:27,386
Oh, this that good, good.

525
00:20:27,555 --> 00:20:28,883
This that
Britney Spears shit.

526
00:20:29,052 --> 00:20:30,324
Makes me want to
get half-naked,

527
00:20:30,493 --> 00:20:32,921
dance around
and juggle some knives.

528
00:20:33,090 --> 00:20:35,295
Sara, who's that
Jeffrey Dahmer look-a-like?

529
00:20:35,497 --> 00:20:38,131
Oh. This is my boyfriend, Jack.

530
00:20:38,333 --> 00:20:40,271
Really nice to meet you.

531
00:20:41,304 --> 00:20:42,666
Looks like Ted Bundy to me.

532
00:20:42,834 --> 00:20:45,070
But that ain't
none of my business.

533
00:20:45,239 --> 00:20:47,134
Mm-hmm. Mm!

534
00:20:47,336 --> 00:20:49,307
This little stabbed-up
bitch here needs some rest.

535
00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:51,615
So y'all get the fuck out!

536
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:52,745
Yes, ma'am.

537
00:20:53,781 --> 00:20:55,348
(GRUNTS) Oh, not you, Sara.
(DOOR SHUTS)

538
00:20:55,517 --> 00:20:57,684
(SLURRING) Why? What did I do?

539
00:20:58,582 --> 00:21:00,617
I'm so scared.

540
00:21:00,819 --> 00:21:04,225
(SIGHS) Oh, Tues,
you should be.

541
00:21:04,394 --> 00:21:06,954
You've been stabbed nine times.

542
00:21:07,123 --> 00:21:09,333
And the killer knows
where you live.

543
00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:12,095
I would invite you to come
stay at my place, but

544
00:21:12,264 --> 00:21:14,728
I don't really want
that kind of juju in my house.

545
00:21:14,897 --> 00:21:16,106
(SIGHS) For all we know,

546
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,342
he's standing
right outside that door.

547
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:23,671
(SMOOCHES, CHUCKLES)

548
00:21:23,873 --> 00:21:25,981
That's comforting, Sara.

549
00:21:26,183 --> 00:21:27,377
I thought I was gonna die.

550
00:21:27,545 --> 00:21:29,580
I know, me too!

551
00:21:29,749 --> 00:21:32,080
I planned your funeral.
(GASPS)

552
00:21:32,249 --> 00:21:34,749
What the hell?
And I wrote your obituary.

553
00:21:34,918 --> 00:21:36,827
More like ChatGPT wrote it.

554
00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:38,161
But you're still here.

555
00:21:38,330 --> 00:21:40,661
And I will never
let anyone hurt you.

556
00:21:42,297 --> 00:21:44,768
Oh, yum! Ice chips!

557
00:21:44,937 --> 00:21:46,335
(SCREAMING) Oh, God!

558
00:21:46,538 --> 00:21:48,101
(PAINED SHOUT) Get off me!
(SUSTAINED BEEP)

559
00:21:48,270 --> 00:21:49,936
(PAINED GROANING)

560
00:21:50,105 --> 00:21:51,306
Help!

561
00:21:51,475 --> 00:21:53,139
This white girl can't die
on my shift!

562
00:21:53,307 --> 00:21:54,675
I'm a DEI hire!

563
00:21:54,843 --> 00:21:57,445
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
She was fine a second ago.

564
00:21:57,614 --> 00:21:59,684
No! No, I'm good! I'm good!
Clear!

565
00:21:59,886 --> 00:22:01,649
(GRUNTS)
Again!

566
00:22:01,818 --> 00:22:04,152
Come on, white bitch,
I need this job! Clear!

567
00:22:04,321 --> 00:22:06,055
It's not working!
Clear!

568
00:22:06,258 --> 00:22:08,724
We're losing her.
(GRUNTS)

569
00:22:08,927 --> 00:22:10,284
Harder!

570
00:22:11,028 --> 00:22:11,828
(BOTH GRUNTING)

571
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,590
(GRUNTS)
(GASPS)

572
00:22:13,759 --> 00:22:14,856
(SUSTAINED BEEP)
Oh, boy.

573
00:22:15,058 --> 00:22:16,960
Look like there ain't
nothing left

574
00:22:17,129 --> 00:22:19,260
but thoughts,
prayers and pork rinds.

575
00:22:20,234 --> 00:22:21,303
Dear Lord.

576
00:22:21,472 --> 00:22:23,373
Nurse Ratchett,
check out the wire!

577
00:22:23,542 --> 00:22:25,733
<i>The Wire</i> was the shit, baby.
That's my show.

578
00:22:25,935 --> 00:22:27,740
Drugs and that Idris Elba

579
00:22:27,942 --> 00:22:30,044
make this coochie
want to pop, pop, pop!

580
00:22:30,246 --> 00:22:32,447
Dear Lord, please

581
00:22:32,616 --> 00:22:33,948
accept this white bitch's--
(MONITOR BEEPS)

582
00:22:34,117 --> 00:22:35,812
(GASPS) Oh!

583
00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:38,048
The Lord works
in mysterious ways.

584
00:22:38,991 --> 00:22:40,052
I'm going on break.

585
00:22:40,221 --> 00:22:41,849
Oh, Tues.

586
00:22:42,018 --> 00:22:43,487
I will never let anyone

587
00:22:43,656 --> 00:22:46,160
hurt you again.
Mm-mm.

588
00:22:46,328 --> 00:22:48,366
(BUZZES)
(SCREAMS)

589
00:22:49,836 --> 00:22:51,362
Ooh! My bad.

590
00:22:51,531 --> 00:22:53,767
(TUESDAY RASPING)

591
00:22:59,374 --> 00:23:01,511
(PHONE RINGING)

592
00:23:03,178 --> 00:23:04,344
Hello?

593
00:23:04,513 --> 00:23:06,816
GHOSTFACE:
<i> Hello, Sara.</i>

594
00:23:06,985 --> 00:23:08,419
Who is this?

595
00:23:08,588 --> 00:23:12,080
GHOSTFACE:<i> Someone</i>
<i>who knows your little secret.</i>

596
00:23:12,249 --> 00:23:14,749
No, no, I swear
that wasn't a Nazi salute!

597
00:23:14,951 --> 00:23:16,318
Okay? I won Prom Queen

598
00:23:16,487 --> 00:23:18,418
and I was-- I was
throwing my heart to the crowd!

599
00:23:18,620 --> 00:23:23,128
GHOSTFACE:<i> No, I'm talking</i>
<i>about your family secret.</i>

600
00:23:23,331 --> 00:23:24,565
(GASPS)

601
00:23:24,734 --> 00:23:27,604
Oh, you're the fuck
who hurt my sister.

602
00:23:27,772 --> 00:23:29,934
GHOSTFACE:<i> Well, I had</i>
<i>to get you to come back here.</i>

603
00:23:30,103 --> 00:23:32,569
Listen, if you want
to fuck with me, asshole,

604
00:23:32,737 --> 00:23:34,175
then come and get me!

605
00:23:34,344 --> 00:23:35,679
GHOSTFACE: With pleasure.

606
00:23:35,848 --> 00:23:37,412
(SCREAMS)

607
00:23:37,581 --> 00:23:39,080
(SARA SCREAMS)
(AGONIZED WAIL)

608
00:23:39,249 --> 00:23:41,943
(GRUNTS)
Help!

609
00:23:42,112 --> 00:23:43,987
Somebody help!
(GRUNTS)

610
00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:47,018
Please, somebody help!

611
00:23:47,717 --> 00:23:49,255
Bitch!

612
00:23:49,424 --> 00:23:50,718
This the break room.

613
00:23:50,887 --> 00:23:51,729
WOMAN: Mm-hmm.

614
00:23:51,898 --> 00:23:52,930
We on break.

615
00:23:53,099 --> 00:23:54,555
Oh, God.
MAN: Preach.

616
00:23:54,724 --> 00:23:55,598
(GRUNTS)

617
00:24:01,038 --> 00:24:02,600
Take that!

618
00:24:02,769 --> 00:24:04,532
(GRUNTS)
GHOSTFACE: Oof!

619
00:24:04,701 --> 00:24:05,575
(GRUNTS)

620
00:24:06,176 --> 00:24:07,540
Please, save me!

621
00:24:07,709 --> 00:24:10,276
I've been saving people
all day!

622
00:24:10,445 --> 00:24:12,147
So you handle yours.

623
00:24:12,316 --> 00:24:13,977
I'll be right over here

624
00:24:14,146 --> 00:24:17,077
eating my falafel
and my pork rinds.

625
00:24:17,246 --> 00:24:19,116
I look like your mama?
(WHIMPERS)

626
00:24:20,955 --> 00:24:23,824
Try me now!
GHOSTFACE: Break's over.

627
00:24:26,593 --> 00:24:27,465
(GHOSTFACE GRUNTS)

628
00:24:30,333 --> 00:24:31,667
You're welcome.

629
00:24:34,633 --> 00:24:37,798
It really looks like
you got hit with
something hard. Like metal.

630
00:24:37,967 --> 00:24:40,271
I told you, I fell.

631
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:44,273
Now where exactly
are we going?
(SIGHS) To talk to an expert.

632
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:57,360
MAN: Go away!

633
00:24:57,529 --> 00:24:59,155
I'm so sorry to bother you.
We just--

634
00:24:59,324 --> 00:25:00,694
We just want to ask you
a few questions.

635
00:25:00,863 --> 00:25:02,461
(THUDS)
Give me one good reason

636
00:25:02,630 --> 00:25:03,932
why I should talk to you.

637
00:25:04,101 --> 00:25:05,201
I'm white.

638
00:25:05,403 --> 00:25:06,970
How white?
Oh, I'm talking

639
00:25:07,139 --> 00:25:08,605
Candace Owens white.

640
00:25:09,735 --> 00:25:11,298
Oh.
Six feet.

641
00:25:11,467 --> 00:25:12,639
When you said expert,
I assumed you meant

642
00:25:12,807 --> 00:25:13,977
more like
Neil deGrasse Tyson or--

643
00:25:14,146 --> 00:25:15,044
Shut up.
(MOANS)

644
00:25:15,213 --> 00:25:16,647
I'm Sara Campbell.

645
00:25:16,816 --> 00:25:19,145
I was attacked last night.
I think you should leave.

646
00:25:19,314 --> 00:25:21,813
I don't want to get stabbed.
And I don't want Covid, okay?

647
00:25:21,981 --> 00:25:23,344
Please, come on. Just--
Let's go.

648
00:25:23,513 --> 00:25:24,546
Just two minutes,
that's all I'm asking.

649
00:25:24,749 --> 00:25:25,947
No. No.

650
00:25:26,116 --> 00:25:27,481
I'll give you eight minutes.

651
00:25:29,227 --> 00:25:30,493
And another thing.

652
00:25:30,662 --> 00:25:33,055
(BOTH GASP)
I got to test you for Covid.

653
00:25:33,223 --> 00:25:34,654
(SWABS SQUEAKING)
(BOTH GROANING)

654
00:25:34,823 --> 00:25:36,129
Ohh!

655
00:25:36,298 --> 00:25:37,330
Ahh...

656
00:25:37,499 --> 00:25:38,966
You guys are good.

657
00:25:39,135 --> 00:25:40,868
<i> When did the work week</i>
<i> become the "woke week"?</i>

658
00:25:41,037 --> 00:25:44,033
<i>We've got Black Friday.</i>
<i>What's next, Mulatto Monday?</i>

659
00:25:44,202 --> 00:25:45,772
<i>I mean, Yellow Thursday?</i>
(DOOR CREAKS)

660
00:25:45,975 --> 00:25:48,340
GAIL ON TV:
<i> Tan Tuesday? Come on.</i>

661
00:25:48,509 --> 00:25:49,547
(TV CLICKS)

662
00:25:50,846 --> 00:25:52,213
Let me get this
out of your way.

663
00:25:52,382 --> 00:25:53,749
SARA: Oh!
Sorry.

664
00:25:54,549 --> 00:25:55,547
(TIMER DINGS)
Oh!

665
00:25:55,715 --> 00:25:57,148
Covid tests are done.

666
00:25:57,948 --> 00:25:59,252
Yup! You're good.

667
00:25:59,421 --> 00:26:01,258
(BOTH SIGHING)

668
00:26:01,427 --> 00:26:02,783
You're Cindy's daughter, right?

669
00:26:02,985 --> 00:26:04,518
Yeah.
Yeah.

670
00:26:04,687 --> 00:26:08,196
I don't know him.
This is Jack.
My love interest.

671
00:26:08,364 --> 00:26:09,733
No! No, no, no.

672
00:26:09,901 --> 00:26:13,061
Rule Number One
of surviving a horror movie is,

673
00:26:13,230 --> 00:26:15,367
"Never trust
the love interest."

674
00:26:15,536 --> 00:26:16,869
Look at him!

675
00:26:17,038 --> 00:26:20,610
He's got that weird lazy eye,
poking one way

676
00:26:20,779 --> 00:26:23,839
and then he's drooling
like a psychopath.

677
00:26:24,008 --> 00:26:25,745
He's got that stump leg.

678
00:26:25,914 --> 00:26:28,243
Makes him all walk weird
and creepy.

679
00:26:28,412 --> 00:26:31,121
I don't have a stump.
Well, that guy does.

680
00:26:31,289 --> 00:26:34,489
Oh I'm looking at me.

681
00:26:34,691 --> 00:26:37,925
Special Officer Doofy. Retired.

682
00:26:38,094 --> 00:26:41,090
Listen, Doofy,
we could really use your help.

683
00:26:41,258 --> 00:26:43,292
No. I can't go back
to that life.

684
00:26:43,494 --> 00:26:45,896
Plus, we're in the middle
of a global pandemic!

685
00:26:46,065 --> 00:26:47,328
Okay, I hate
to break it to you,

686
00:26:47,530 --> 00:26:50,073
but Covid has been over
for, like, years.

687
00:26:50,241 --> 00:26:52,132
Hmm.
Really?

688
00:26:52,301 --> 00:26:53,534
JACK: Yeah.
SARA: Yeah.

689
00:26:56,114 --> 00:26:57,571
Damn it!

690
00:26:57,740 --> 00:27:00,442
What am I gonna do
with all this canned meat?

691
00:27:01,985 --> 00:27:04,747
DOOFY: Get out! I don't want
Ghostface to find me.

692
00:27:04,916 --> 00:27:06,184
And don't come back!

693
00:27:15,928 --> 00:27:17,701
(IMITATING POLICE SIREN)

694
00:27:18,965 --> 00:27:20,367
It's the sound of the police.

695
00:27:20,569 --> 00:27:22,299
(IMITATING SIREN)

696
00:27:25,711 --> 00:27:29,076
Special Officer Doofy,
reporting for duty.

697
00:27:29,245 --> 00:27:31,840
Okay, just because he showered
doesn't mean that--

698
00:27:32,009 --> 00:27:33,142
No, I didn't shower.

699
00:27:33,311 --> 00:27:35,650
I just take water
from my mouth and--

700
00:27:35,819 --> 00:27:37,685
You want some? Okay.
No, that's okay.

701
00:27:37,853 --> 00:27:40,120
Come on, Doofy.
Yeah, let's do it.

702
00:27:40,288 --> 00:27:41,955
DEI:<i> Sara, is your</i>
<i> ghetto-ass mom coming</i>

703
00:27:42,124 --> 00:27:43,457
or can we start talking
about this plot?

704
00:27:43,625 --> 00:27:45,454
Uh...
(DOOR OPENS)

705
00:27:46,429 --> 00:27:47,358
(DOOR SLAMS)

706
00:27:47,527 --> 00:27:48,723
Hi.

707
00:27:48,925 --> 00:27:50,058
You came.

708
00:27:50,261 --> 00:27:51,994
Not in, like, 15 years, honey.

709
00:27:52,163 --> 00:27:54,629
But I did buy this new rose,

710
00:27:54,797 --> 00:27:56,432
so fingers crossed. (CHUCKLES)
(PILL BOTTLE POPS)

711
00:27:58,671 --> 00:27:59,866
(SIGHS)

712
00:28:00,068 --> 00:28:01,372
CINDY: Oh.

713
00:28:01,574 --> 00:28:02,772
Oh!

714
00:28:02,941 --> 00:28:05,040
Oh, my old friend!

715
00:28:05,209 --> 00:28:07,549
You taught me how to dance.

716
00:28:07,718 --> 00:28:10,311
How to make a high N-word pie.

717
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,681
Nigga, I'm right
in back of you.

718
00:28:12,850 --> 00:28:13,618
Shorty!

719
00:28:13,787 --> 00:28:15,016
What's up, Cindy?

720
00:28:15,185 --> 00:28:17,218
How you doing? My nigga.

721
00:28:17,420 --> 00:28:19,525
BOTH: (GIGGLE)
Shit, son!

722
00:28:19,694 --> 00:28:20,926
(BOTH LAUGHING)

723
00:28:21,129 --> 00:28:22,830
I can't believe you thought
I was dead.

724
00:28:22,999 --> 00:28:25,601
Well, between cancer
from the weed smoke

725
00:28:25,803 --> 00:28:28,064
your love of the McRib
and racist cops,

726
00:28:28,266 --> 00:28:29,639
I didn't think
you had a chance.

727
00:28:29,808 --> 00:28:31,808
Yeah,
that's a terrible combination.

728
00:28:32,610 --> 00:28:34,737
Hi, Cin.
Stop smiling at me!

729
00:28:34,906 --> 00:28:36,178
(CINDY GRUNTS)

730
00:28:36,347 --> 00:28:37,510
(ALL GASPING)

731
00:28:37,678 --> 00:28:39,105
Shit! WorldStar!

732
00:28:39,307 --> 00:28:41,210
WorldStar! WorldStar!

733
00:28:41,378 --> 00:28:43,686
Hey,
he's intellectually disabled!

734
00:28:43,855 --> 00:28:45,717
That's just how he looks,
you drunk honky.

735
00:28:45,886 --> 00:28:47,051
SHORTY: Hey, hey, hey!

736
00:28:47,220 --> 00:28:48,687
Don't call that white bitch
a honky.

737
00:28:48,856 --> 00:28:50,022
C'mon, have some respect.

738
00:28:50,191 --> 00:28:52,889
I keep seeing people
smiling everywhere.

739
00:28:53,057 --> 00:28:54,421
I'm not very likable,

740
00:28:54,589 --> 00:28:56,600
so it must be
some kind of curse.

741
00:28:56,769 --> 00:28:58,498
Hey, everybody!
(WHISPERING) She's high.

742
00:28:58,666 --> 00:28:59,863
Look what I got.

743
00:29:00,032 --> 00:29:01,704
Non-branded gelatin shots

744
00:29:01,873 --> 00:29:04,100
made with grain alcohol
and GHB.

745
00:29:04,302 --> 00:29:05,465
So ain't nobody sipping nothing

746
00:29:05,667 --> 00:29:07,102
they didn't consent to
like last time,

747
00:29:07,271 --> 00:29:08,302
which I apologize.
Mm-hmm.

748
00:29:08,504 --> 00:29:10,079
Take one.
I love roofying myself.

749
00:29:10,248 --> 00:29:11,273
(LAUGHS)

750
00:29:11,441 --> 00:29:12,147
No, Ma. No, Mama.
You sure, baby?

751
00:29:12,350 --> 00:29:13,574
Hi, Brenda.

752
00:29:13,743 --> 00:29:15,582
Please do not call me
by my government name.

753
00:29:15,751 --> 00:29:17,513
Call me Ma. (GASPS)

754
00:29:18,553 --> 00:29:19,354
Cindy!

755
00:29:19,523 --> 00:29:20,857
(GASPS) Oh, my God!

756
00:29:21,855 --> 00:29:22,720
You dropped the tray.

757
00:29:22,889 --> 00:29:24,090
Oh, my God, Cindy,

758
00:29:24,259 --> 00:29:26,058
I haven't seen you in forever!
(GASPS)

759
00:29:26,227 --> 00:29:28,859
My God, look at you!
You look the same!

760
00:29:29,027 --> 00:29:30,399
Minus the crow's feet.

761
00:29:30,568 --> 00:29:32,635
And your hair is so dry.

762
00:29:32,837 --> 00:29:35,638
Oh, and your titties
dropped so far.

763
00:29:35,841 --> 00:29:38,506
Other than that,
you look the exact same.

764
00:29:38,708 --> 00:29:40,401
What have you been up to?

765
00:29:40,570 --> 00:29:42,605
Oh, you know,
neglecting my children

766
00:29:42,774 --> 00:29:45,975
so I can prepare
to kill Ghostface
should he ever return.

767
00:29:46,178 --> 00:29:47,611
What about you?
(SLURPS)

768
00:29:47,780 --> 00:29:49,817
Well, I been mostly just
getting high school kids drunk

769
00:29:50,019 --> 00:29:51,387
in a desperate attempt
to stay young

770
00:29:51,556 --> 00:29:52,688
and keep my kids at home.

771
00:29:52,890 --> 00:29:54,291
I always knew
you'd be a great mom.

772
00:29:54,459 --> 00:29:55,658
(CHUCKLING) Oh, Cindy!

773
00:29:55,827 --> 00:29:58,026
Should we hug?
Oh, I really want to,

774
00:29:58,228 --> 00:30:01,295
but I'm a Republican now
so I'm supposed to be racist.

775
00:30:01,464 --> 00:30:03,926
Oh, girl, I think all
white people are racist anyway.

776
00:30:04,095 --> 00:30:05,234
Come here.
Okay.

777
00:30:05,403 --> 00:30:07,134
Mm!
Oh!

778
00:30:07,302 --> 00:30:10,135
You want a shot? Yeah? Here.
Oh, yes, yes, please.

779
00:30:10,304 --> 00:30:12,470
You know, Ma,
this place could be so cool

780
00:30:12,639 --> 00:30:15,105
if you had, like,
a-a beer pong table over there,

781
00:30:15,274 --> 00:30:16,571
and maybe, like, a snack wall.

782
00:30:16,740 --> 00:30:18,243
What you know about cool?
When I was your age,

783
00:30:18,412 --> 00:30:20,678
I was popping bottles
with Puffy, Puff Daddy,

784
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:22,111
P. Diddy, Diddy.

785
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:23,845
All the Seans.
(GIGGLES)

786
00:30:24,014 --> 00:30:26,520
(SCOFFS) That didn't age well.
Your momma was the freak

787
00:30:26,689 --> 00:30:27,622
in the freak-offs.

788
00:30:27,791 --> 00:30:29,284
(GIGGLES) Shit, son!
(SMACKS)

789
00:30:29,453 --> 00:30:30,694
You want to see something cool?

790
00:30:30,863 --> 00:30:33,428
I'ma show you something cool.
(MUMBLING)

791
00:30:33,597 --> 00:30:34,832
(DRAWERS SCRAPING)

792
00:30:37,460 --> 00:30:40,061
(GUN COCKS)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

793
00:30:40,263 --> 00:30:41,403
God, that's cool.

794
00:30:41,605 --> 00:30:42,566
What are you doing?

795
00:30:42,769 --> 00:30:43,504
What?

796
00:30:43,673 --> 00:30:44,639
No, not like that.

797
00:30:44,808 --> 00:30:45,739
Like this.
(ALL GASP)

798
00:30:45,942 --> 00:30:47,337
(WHIMPERING)
BRENDA: Oh, yeah.

799
00:30:47,506 --> 00:30:49,974
I don't know why
y'all acting so scared.

800
00:30:50,143 --> 00:30:51,215
The gun ain't even loaded.

801
00:30:51,417 --> 00:30:52,645
(GRUNTS)
Shit!

802
00:30:52,814 --> 00:30:54,918
Oh, shit, son!

803
00:30:55,718 --> 00:30:57,252
Uh-oh. I did it again.

804
00:30:57,454 --> 00:30:59,014
(GIGGLES)

805
00:30:59,182 --> 00:31:00,483
(BOTH LAUGHING)

806
00:31:00,652 --> 00:31:02,315
I always forget that last one
in the chamber.

807
00:31:02,484 --> 00:31:03,392
Help me move this body.

808
00:31:03,594 --> 00:31:04,524
Yeah, you got it.

809
00:31:04,693 --> 00:31:06,057
That was fun.

810
00:31:06,259 --> 00:31:07,621
BRENDA:
Oh, so, what are you doing

811
00:31:07,790 --> 00:31:09,993
after this?
CINDY: I want to go to Cabo.

812
00:31:10,162 --> 00:31:11,696
BRENDA: Oh, I love Cabo!

813
00:31:11,865 --> 00:31:13,667
You know what?

814
00:31:13,836 --> 00:31:15,939
I used to put cocaine
up my hoo-hah
and travel there all the time.

815
00:31:16,141 --> 00:31:18,535
Well, that's because
you're so smart.
Yeah. (GRUNTS)

816
00:31:19,708 --> 00:31:20,570
(CINDY SIGHS)

817
00:31:24,007 --> 00:31:24,915
Oh.

818
00:31:26,643 --> 00:31:29,411
All right.
Let's get back to the plot.

819
00:31:29,580 --> 00:31:31,247
I'm looking at you,
Ted Bundy eyes.

820
00:31:31,416 --> 00:31:32,588
Looking like a school shooter.

821
00:31:32,757 --> 00:31:33,688
I think you the killer.

822
00:31:33,857 --> 00:31:35,022
JACK: Oh, me?
DEI: Mm-hmm.

823
00:31:35,191 --> 00:31:36,916
Okay, what about
Deputy Doofy over there?

824
00:31:37,118 --> 00:31:40,225
I-I don't have a motive.
You know, what's my motive?

825
00:31:40,394 --> 00:31:42,030
You were the killer
in the first movie.

826
00:31:42,199 --> 00:31:44,628
Shouldn't you be locked up?
No, I got pardoned.

827
00:31:44,831 --> 00:31:47,799
Mostly because of the
storming the Capitol, you know.

828
00:31:48,001 --> 00:31:49,872
Oh.
I got proof.

829
00:31:50,041 --> 00:31:52,441
This is me. And it's framed.
JESS: Oh.

830
00:31:52,643 --> 00:31:53,739
That's a cool hat.

831
00:31:53,907 --> 00:31:55,572
What about Jess?

832
00:31:56,371 --> 00:31:57,304
What about me?

833
00:31:57,506 --> 00:31:58,705
If anybody here has issues

834
00:31:58,874 --> 00:31:59,943
that could lead to murder...
(JESS SCOFFS)

835
00:32:00,112 --> 00:32:01,618
Okay, I get it!

836
00:32:01,787 --> 00:32:03,652
Trans-shaming
is not cool, okay?

837
00:32:03,855 --> 00:32:05,779
They-- He's just a dude.
Yeah.

838
00:32:05,981 --> 00:32:08,749
Minus the upper body strength
and the dick part.

839
00:32:08,918 --> 00:32:10,954
Hey, you don't know
what I got down here, okay?

840
00:32:11,156 --> 00:32:12,990
I do.
Hey, hey.

841
00:32:13,193 --> 00:32:14,928
Listen, what we know so far

842
00:32:15,097 --> 00:32:16,590
is everyone who's been attacked

843
00:32:16,759 --> 00:32:19,227
is related to
the original characters.

844
00:32:19,396 --> 00:32:20,527
He wants to kill the kids.

845
00:32:20,696 --> 00:32:24,465
Aha! He's making a rebootequel.

846
00:32:24,667 --> 00:32:26,134
A what now?
DEI: Yeah. It's like,

847
00:32:26,336 --> 00:32:27,571
a reboot and a sequel.

848
00:32:27,740 --> 00:32:29,846
Mixes legacy characters
with new characters

849
00:32:30,048 --> 00:32:32,816
in an attempt to feed into
bullshit nostalgia

850
00:32:32,985 --> 00:32:34,778
and bring more fans
to the theaters.

851
00:32:34,947 --> 00:32:36,748
Just like last year's
<i> I Know What</i>
<i> You Did Last Summer.</i>

852
00:32:36,917 --> 00:32:38,482
(DOOR SHUTS)

853
00:32:38,684 --> 00:32:41,156
That's a movie?
What did I do last summer?

854
00:32:41,358 --> 00:32:43,460
I think you're talking about
<i>The Summer I Turned Pretty.</i>

855
00:32:43,628 --> 00:32:44,959
Yeah.
BRENDA: Ray,

856
00:32:45,128 --> 00:32:46,956
when did you get here?
Oh, I been here.

857
00:32:47,125 --> 00:32:48,926
I was just hanging out
by the men's room.
(PHONE LOCKS, BUZZES)

858
00:32:49,094 --> 00:32:50,159
Oh.
My room?

859
00:32:50,328 --> 00:32:52,059
DEI: Okay, so that means

860
00:32:52,228 --> 00:32:55,333
that our killer is writing
his own version
of<i> Horror Movie.</i>

861
00:32:55,536 --> 00:32:59,101
Okay, so according to
the re-booty-call rules,

862
00:32:59,270 --> 00:33:00,300
who's the killer?

863
00:33:00,469 --> 00:33:01,501
(SCOFFS, CHUCKLES)

864
00:33:01,670 --> 00:33:03,541
I think it's pretty obvious.

865
00:33:06,274 --> 00:33:07,417
Who?

866
00:33:07,586 --> 00:33:09,475
You, bitch.
Me?

867
00:33:09,644 --> 00:33:11,483
Guys, I am not the killer.

868
00:33:11,652 --> 00:33:14,617
Ghostface attacked Tues
to lure me back here.

869
00:33:14,786 --> 00:33:17,957
I think he attacked Tuesday
to get you back here

870
00:33:18,126 --> 00:33:19,991
so he could get me back here.

871
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,222
He wants to kill the OGs.

872
00:33:22,424 --> 00:33:23,632
That was a flex.

873
00:33:23,801 --> 00:33:24,863
Yeah, that sounds better.

874
00:33:25,065 --> 00:33:26,495
Aw, fuck this!

875
00:33:26,664 --> 00:33:29,472
And fuck you, Mother!
(SHORTY GASPS)

876
00:33:29,641 --> 00:33:31,004
To your mother?

877
00:33:31,173 --> 00:33:34,575
Hey! Don't be so disrespectful!

878
00:33:34,777 --> 00:33:36,070
And call me Mom!

879
00:33:36,272 --> 00:33:37,373
Or Mommy.

880
00:33:37,542 --> 00:33:39,775
Or whatever's more comfortable.

881
00:33:41,614 --> 00:33:42,849
DISPATCH:
<i> All units, be advised:</i>

882
00:33:43,018 --> 00:33:44,444
<i>Suspect is still at large.</i>

883
00:33:44,613 --> 00:33:46,020
<i>Black cloak, white mask...</i>

884
00:33:46,188 --> 00:33:47,653
(SIGHS)
<i> ...big-ass knife.</i>

885
00:33:47,822 --> 00:33:48,658
(SNIFFS)

886
00:33:48,827 --> 00:33:50,753
(DISPATCH CHATTERS FAINTLY)

887
00:33:53,490 --> 00:33:55,131
(BABY WAILS DISTANTLY)

888
00:33:56,196 --> 00:33:57,831
(BABY CRYING)
(SIGHS)

889
00:33:57,999 --> 00:34:00,233
(PHONE RINGS, CHIMES)

890
00:34:00,435 --> 00:34:03,198
Talk to me.
GHOSTFACE:<i> Hello, Sheriff.</i>

891
00:34:03,366 --> 00:34:04,665
Agent Underwood?

892
00:34:04,834 --> 00:34:06,503
GHOSTFACE:
<i> I'll give you one hint.</i>

893
00:34:06,672 --> 00:34:09,043
<i> What's your favorite</i>
<i> scary movie?</i>

894
00:34:09,212 --> 00:34:11,071
Well, I'm gonna go
with<i> Saltburn.</i>

895
00:34:11,273 --> 00:34:14,009
I mean, the member on that
English guy was terrifying.

896
00:34:14,178 --> 00:34:17,245
Ken Jeong's junk
in<i> The Hangover</i>
was a much better depiction

897
00:34:17,414 --> 00:34:19,184
of the male anatomy.

898
00:34:19,353 --> 00:34:20,848
Now what do you want, fuckface?

899
00:34:21,017 --> 00:34:22,419
GHOSTFACE:<i> Well,</i>
<i>I'm just calling to tell you</i>

900
00:34:22,587 --> 00:34:24,191
<i> that by the time you get home,</i>

901
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:26,459
<i> I'll have gutted</i>
<i> your baby girl!</i>

902
00:34:27,227 --> 00:34:30,092
Hey, asshole, she's a boy!

903
00:34:30,261 --> 00:34:33,268
(SIREN WAILS)

904
00:34:37,368 --> 00:34:38,372
(TIRES SQUEAL)

905
00:34:39,203 --> 00:34:40,176
Jess!

906
00:34:40,974 --> 00:34:41,837
(GROANS)

907
00:34:42,571 --> 00:34:45,214
(HEARTBEAT THUMPING)

908
00:34:48,048 --> 00:34:49,783
(DISTANT SIRENS)

909
00:34:49,951 --> 00:34:51,451
(BIRDS TWEETING)

910
00:34:55,454 --> 00:34:56,951
GHOSTFACE:
Looking for this?

911
00:34:58,190 --> 00:34:59,963
Let me help you.

912
00:35:00,132 --> 00:35:04,200
I got your baby dick.
Winky, winky, winky.

913
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:11,570
(PHONE RINGING)

914
00:35:13,375 --> 00:35:15,272
All right. (CLEARS THROAT)
Here we go.

915
00:35:15,441 --> 00:35:17,046
What do you want, fuckface?

916
00:35:17,215 --> 00:35:20,449
GHOSTFACE: Well,
like father, like, uh, son?

917
00:35:20,618 --> 00:35:22,185
<i> Uh--</i>

918
00:35:22,387 --> 00:35:23,746
<i> I understand</i>
<i> you're home alone.</i>
(PLATE CLINKS)

919
00:35:23,915 --> 00:35:27,121
Well, Dad's out, but
the pool guy, the gardener

920
00:35:27,290 --> 00:35:30,125
and the plumber
are all here, asshole.

921
00:35:30,294 --> 00:35:31,788
GHOSTFACE:
<i> Look out your window.</i>

922
00:35:33,428 --> 00:35:34,796
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
(MEN YELLING)

923
00:35:34,965 --> 00:35:36,563
(SIREN WHOOPING)
ICE!

924
00:35:36,732 --> 00:35:39,432
No! But they're the backbone
of the American workforce!

925
00:35:39,601 --> 00:35:41,971
(WHIMPERS) And I'm too white
to do those jobs.

926
00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:43,673
GHOSTFACE:
<i> Let's cut to the chase.</i>

927
00:35:43,875 --> 00:35:45,800
<i>I'll ask you one question.</i>

928
00:35:45,969 --> 00:35:48,738
<i> If you answer correctly,</i>
<i> you live.</i>

929
00:35:48,907 --> 00:35:52,478
<i> Who was the killer</i>
<i> in</i> Horror Movie?

930
00:35:52,647 --> 00:35:55,710
Oh, that's easy.
It was Bobby and then Gay Ray

931
00:35:55,912 --> 00:35:57,711
the guy who was
totally into dudes,

932
00:35:57,913 --> 00:35:59,018
even though
he claimed he wasn't.

933
00:35:59,187 --> 00:36:01,119
Classic 2000s homophobia.

934
00:36:01,287 --> 00:36:02,720
But I got you, bitch.

935
00:36:02,922 --> 00:36:05,653
GHOSTFACE:<i> Wrong! You forgot</i>
<i>Special Officer Doofy.</i>

936
00:36:05,822 --> 00:36:08,528
<i> Now you die.</i>
(DOORBELL RINGS)

937
00:36:16,135 --> 00:36:17,805
Bumbaclot!

938
00:36:17,973 --> 00:36:19,342
(DOORBELL RINGS)

939
00:36:19,511 --> 00:36:21,101
GHOSTFACE:<i> You should</i>
<i> probably answer that.</i>

940
00:36:21,270 --> 00:36:24,739
I can literally see you
trying to steal my package.

941
00:36:24,941 --> 00:36:27,307
(PACKAGE FIZZLES)
GHOSTFACE: Oh, shit!

942
00:36:27,476 --> 00:36:28,508
(GAGS)

943
00:36:28,677 --> 00:36:30,080
Ah, that was easy.

944
00:36:30,282 --> 00:36:32,682
(DOORBELL RINGS)

945
00:36:32,851 --> 00:36:34,690
GHOSTFACE:<i> Uh, someone</i>
<i>order steaks?</i>

946
00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:36,725
It's GoPuff.
Hmm.

947
00:36:36,894 --> 00:36:38,620
(FLOORBOARD CREAKS)

948
00:36:38,789 --> 00:36:40,788
Wait a sec.
GHOSTFACE: Careful.

949
00:36:40,957 --> 00:36:42,966
You wouldn't want
to let in a killer.

950
00:36:43,134 --> 00:36:47,501
You are about to identify
as dead.

951
00:36:48,937 --> 00:36:49,833
(GURGLES)

952
00:36:50,367 --> 00:36:51,533
You...

953
00:36:51,702 --> 00:36:54,170
stab like-- (CHOKES)
a girl.

954
00:36:54,339 --> 00:36:55,441
(THUDS)

955
00:36:55,644 --> 00:36:57,280
(FAINT POLICE CHATTER)
(DISTANT SIRENS)

956
00:37:01,847 --> 00:37:04,219
Come on, girl,
hit that Ghostface Shuffle.

957
00:37:04,388 --> 00:37:06,749
Try the Ghostface Killah
Collection Bundle.

958
00:37:06,918 --> 00:37:09,322
This is Keke West
for OnlyFans Rapid News.

959
00:37:09,491 --> 00:37:11,026
"Rapid News".
You mean "Vapid News".

960
00:37:11,195 --> 00:37:13,196
You don't even
have a cameraman!

961
00:37:13,365 --> 00:37:14,561
(GASPS) My equipment!
(EQUIPMENT CLATTERS)

962
00:37:15,964 --> 00:37:17,157
Excuse me.

963
00:37:18,968 --> 00:37:19,997
Oh, my. You're--

964
00:37:20,166 --> 00:37:21,430
Yes, yes.

965
00:37:21,632 --> 00:37:23,065
Three-time Emmy nominee

966
00:37:23,234 --> 00:37:25,735
for Outstanding Achievement
in Sensational Reporting.

967
00:37:25,904 --> 00:37:27,801
I was gonna say
the lady from<i> Friends,</i>

968
00:37:28,003 --> 00:37:30,211
but shorter
and with less Botox.

969
00:37:30,380 --> 00:37:31,540
Oh. (CHUCKLES) Is that
what you were

970
00:37:31,709 --> 00:37:33,082
"gonna say"? (LAUGHS)
Yeah.

971
00:37:33,250 --> 00:37:34,645
You seriously don't know
who I am?

972
00:37:34,847 --> 00:37:37,079
Babygirl, I am Gail--
DOOFY: Gail swallows!

973
00:37:37,248 --> 00:37:38,215
Hey.

974
00:37:38,384 --> 00:37:39,483
Hailstorm. Gail--

975
00:37:39,685 --> 00:37:41,790
Get the hell out of my way!
Oh.

976
00:37:41,992 --> 00:37:43,117
(POLICE SIREN WHOOPS)

977
00:37:46,095 --> 00:37:49,458
Doofus.
Hey, Gail.

978
00:37:49,661 --> 00:37:51,896
Wow. You haven't aged a day.

979
00:37:52,065 --> 00:37:55,070
You've aged
like a million days.
That's this many. Five--

980
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:56,800
Your fingers
smell like genitals.

981
00:37:56,969 --> 00:37:58,971
What are you doing
in that ridiculous uniform?

982
00:37:59,140 --> 00:38:02,611
Uh, I-I'm back on the case.
Yeah, I'm gonna bust Ghostface.

983
00:38:02,780 --> 00:38:04,004
Well, um,

984
00:38:04,207 --> 00:38:06,442
tell me,
Special Needs Officer Doofy...

985
00:38:06,610 --> 00:38:08,346
(DOOFY GROANS)
Um.

986
00:38:08,548 --> 00:38:09,946
Wow.
Are there any suspects

987
00:38:10,115 --> 00:38:12,712
in this tragic yet completely
predictable incident?

988
00:38:12,881 --> 00:38:14,322
I-I'm not allowed to say.

989
00:38:14,525 --> 00:38:16,649
No, no, okay, no.
Yes, you can. Yes, you can.

990
00:38:16,851 --> 00:38:18,455
Not-- Yeah-- (MOANS)

991
00:38:18,624 --> 00:38:19,589
(MUMBLES)
You can tell me.

992
00:38:19,758 --> 00:38:20,930
Um, ah, oh, my God.
(CHUCKLES)

993
00:38:21,099 --> 00:38:22,157
What the f--
(DOOFY CHUCKLES)

994
00:38:22,359 --> 00:38:23,727
Hey!

995
00:38:23,896 --> 00:38:25,627
Remember when
you used to give blowjobs

996
00:38:25,796 --> 00:38:27,602
for sensitive information?

997
00:38:27,771 --> 00:38:31,102
I don't give blowjobs anymore,
okay? Not since MeToo.

998
00:38:31,271 --> 00:38:32,639
Okay. Sorry.

999
00:38:32,807 --> 00:38:35,169
I give handjobs now,
but the story better be good.

1000
00:38:35,337 --> 00:38:38,678
Okay, I'll do a handjob.
Let's do it. Let's do it.

1001
00:38:42,217 --> 00:38:43,782
(INHALING SHARPLY)

1002
00:38:49,585 --> 00:38:50,657
What the--

1003
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:01,233
I'm gonna get you.
Uncle Ray-Ray's gonna get you!

1004
00:39:01,435 --> 00:39:02,904
Ray?
You got my outfit,

1005
00:39:03,106 --> 00:39:04,231
you little critter.

1006
00:39:07,641 --> 00:39:09,676
Maybe weed shouldn't be legal.

1007
00:39:11,442 --> 00:39:12,243
(SCOFFS)

1008
00:39:12,445 --> 00:39:13,977
Fuck yeah, it should!

1009
00:39:16,018 --> 00:39:17,511
(GIGGLES)

1010
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:18,553
(DOOR SHUTS)

1011
00:39:21,853 --> 00:39:24,058
(LAMP CLICKS)
(SNEAKERS SQUEAK)

1012
00:39:24,260 --> 00:39:26,052
GHOSTFACE: Hello, Shorty.

1013
00:39:26,255 --> 00:39:29,726
You do know
that smoking is bad for you.

1014
00:39:29,894 --> 00:39:31,396
Actually,
weed ain't bad for you.

1015
00:39:31,565 --> 00:39:34,495
You got Vitamin T, C and H,

1016
00:39:34,664 --> 00:39:36,601
C, B and D.

1017
00:39:36,803 --> 00:39:38,237
GHOSTFACE:
What's the matter, Shorty?

1018
00:39:38,406 --> 00:39:41,233
You look a little antsy.

1019
00:39:41,402 --> 00:39:44,804
Maybe because there's
a masked serial killer

1020
00:39:44,973 --> 00:39:46,182
sipping tea in my den.

1021
00:39:46,350 --> 00:39:48,017
GHOSTFACE:
Shorty, you're my nigga.

1022
00:39:48,186 --> 00:39:50,686
I mean, friend. Please, sit.

1023
00:39:50,855 --> 00:39:52,048
All right.

1024
00:39:53,023 --> 00:39:55,181
(SPOON SCRAPING)

1025
00:39:55,316 --> 00:39:57,083
GHOSTFACE:
Do you want to quit smoking?

1026
00:39:57,285 --> 00:39:59,419
Well, to be honest,
I tried to quit.

1027
00:39:59,621 --> 00:40:02,861
But my mother said,
"I ain't raisin' no quitters."

1028
00:40:03,595 --> 00:40:04,794
So I quit quitting.

1029
00:40:04,997 --> 00:40:07,096
GHOSTFACE:
We could try hypnosis.

1030
00:40:07,264 --> 00:40:09,029
Bro, I don't care
how many pocket watches

1031
00:40:09,198 --> 00:40:11,031
you try and wave
in front of my face

1032
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:12,770
it ain't gonna work, son.
(CHUCKLES)

1033
00:40:12,939 --> 00:40:15,542
You can't magmetize me.
GHOSTFACE: Sleep.

1034
00:40:15,711 --> 00:40:18,340
(SNORING)
("ROCKABYE BABY" PLAYS)

1035
00:40:18,509 --> 00:40:20,376
Shorty.

1036
00:40:20,545 --> 00:40:22,411
(SLURPS) Hmm?

1037
00:40:22,580 --> 00:40:23,879
What's up?

1038
00:40:24,048 --> 00:40:26,383
GHOSTFACE:
Tell me about your mother.

1039
00:40:26,552 --> 00:40:27,856
(SOFT SCRAPING)

1040
00:40:28,025 --> 00:40:29,259
Damn, nigga.

1041
00:40:29,428 --> 00:40:30,950
Let's start
with something light, like:

1042
00:40:31,119 --> 00:40:33,060
"Do you lick ass, yes or no?"

1043
00:40:33,229 --> 00:40:35,056
The answer's yes.

1044
00:40:35,225 --> 00:40:37,766
GHOSTFACE: So what
happened to her, Shorty?

1045
00:40:37,935 --> 00:40:39,667
(SCRAPING)

1046
00:40:40,599 --> 00:40:42,395
She was coming home.

1047
00:40:43,431 --> 00:40:45,468
Her car was parked
to the side of the road.

1048
00:40:45,637 --> 00:40:47,576
Someone was in it.

1049
00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:49,973
And something bad
was happening.

1050
00:40:50,175 --> 00:40:52,207
(WOMAN MOANING)
(MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR RADIO)

1051
00:40:54,375 --> 00:40:55,917
GHOSTFACE:
Why didn't you call anyone?

1052
00:40:56,086 --> 00:40:56,919
I couldn't.

1053
00:40:57,088 --> 00:40:58,450
I had warrants.

1054
00:40:58,619 --> 00:41:00,089
GHOSTFACE: You were 11.

1055
00:41:00,258 --> 00:41:02,085
I started young, nigga.

1056
00:41:03,225 --> 00:41:04,120
GHOSTFACE: Oh.

1057
00:41:04,721 --> 00:41:06,529
What do you see?

1058
00:41:08,063 --> 00:41:09,195
I...

1059
00:41:09,397 --> 00:41:11,190
(WOMAN MOANING)

1060
00:41:11,393 --> 00:41:14,262
SHORTY:
<i>I see a big explosion of water.</i>

1061
00:41:16,068 --> 00:41:17,672
<i> It was like</i>
<i> a Civil Rights hose.</i>

1062
00:41:22,073 --> 00:41:24,173
Police said
it was a murder/suicide.

1063
00:41:25,380 --> 00:41:26,914
She killed that man.

1064
00:41:27,083 --> 00:41:30,685
When they opened the car door,
his limp body just slid out.

1065
00:41:34,020 --> 00:41:36,853
Like the green nigga
in<i> Shape of Water.</i>

1066
00:41:37,021 --> 00:41:38,660
I just didn't want it
to be real.

1067
00:41:38,828 --> 00:41:40,959
GHOSTFACE:
What don't you want to be real?

1068
00:41:41,993 --> 00:41:43,992
That my mother was a squirter!

1069
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:46,468
(CRYING)
Okay! She was a squirter.

1070
00:41:46,637 --> 00:41:48,965
All the floors
in her bedroom was warped.

1071
00:41:49,134 --> 00:41:52,172
I can't move.
GHOSTFACE: You're paralyzed.

1072
00:41:52,341 --> 00:41:54,102
Now...
(SCRAPING)

1073
00:41:54,271 --> 00:41:56,342
...sink into the chair.
Wait, no.

1074
00:41:56,511 --> 00:41:57,606
Wait.
GHOSTFACE: Sink!

1075
00:41:57,775 --> 00:41:58,781
(ECHOING CLANG)

1076
00:41:58,950 --> 00:42:00,541
(SCREAMS)

1077
00:42:00,743 --> 00:42:03,280
(GROANS)

1078
00:42:03,449 --> 00:42:06,050
Nigga!

1079
00:42:09,621 --> 00:42:11,594
(INAUDIBLE)

1080
00:42:14,391 --> 00:42:18,832
SHORTY:
(ECHOING) I'm in a K-hole, son!

1081
00:42:20,263 --> 00:42:23,837
GHOSTFACE:
No, you're in a K-pop hole.

1082
00:42:24,769 --> 00:42:26,807
(BUZZING, WARBLING)

1083
00:42:37,155 --> 00:42:39,050
Oh, shit, son!

1084
00:42:45,052 --> 00:42:46,222
Nigga, I'm numb.

1085
00:42:49,995 --> 00:42:51,898
That's what they do
in the hood.

1086
00:42:54,963 --> 00:42:56,672
(SQUEALING)

1087
00:43:00,970 --> 00:43:02,502
Luke Skywalker!

1088
00:43:11,187 --> 00:43:12,413
(SCREAMS)

1089
00:43:17,691 --> 00:43:19,123
♪<i> Ohh</i> ♪

1090
00:43:26,701 --> 00:43:29,865
(SHORTY COUGHS, CHOKES)

1091
00:43:30,034 --> 00:43:31,733
<i>That's some good shit, son.</i>

1092
00:43:31,902 --> 00:43:33,306
(GASPS, PANTS)

1093
00:43:33,508 --> 00:43:34,969
That dream was wild.

1094
00:43:35,172 --> 00:43:37,079
I must've been Elon Musk high.

1095
00:43:37,247 --> 00:43:39,275
(WOMEN GIGGLING)

1096
00:43:41,648 --> 00:43:43,147
(SPEAKING KOREAN)

1097
00:43:45,584 --> 00:43:46,856
(CHUCKLES)

1098
00:43:47,058 --> 00:43:48,658
(SQUEALS)

1099
00:43:51,427 --> 00:43:52,629
CINDY: Tuesday?

1100
00:43:53,229 --> 00:43:54,455
Tuesday?

1101
00:43:57,629 --> 00:43:58,833
Bobby?

1102
00:44:01,063 --> 00:44:02,903
Bobby, what the...?

1103
00:44:04,241 --> 00:44:05,998
She's gonna die.

1104
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:07,572
Our daughter, Sara?

1105
00:44:07,740 --> 00:44:09,372
You're probably right.

1106
00:44:09,575 --> 00:44:11,641
She's tough, but let's see her
get stabbed in the gut.

1107
00:44:11,810 --> 00:44:13,172
I'm gonna die.

1108
00:44:13,341 --> 00:44:15,484
Bobby, you're already dead.

1109
00:44:15,653 --> 00:44:17,278
This hallucination
is a manifestation

1110
00:44:17,447 --> 00:44:19,479
of my own guilt
for being an awful mom.

1111
00:44:19,648 --> 00:44:22,120
Or it could be the shrooms
I just popped.

1112
00:44:23,261 --> 00:44:24,491
You're gonna die.

1113
00:44:24,660 --> 00:44:27,763
Bitch, you ain't killing me.

1114
00:44:28,662 --> 00:44:30,090
(SNARLS)
(GRUNTS)

1115
00:44:30,259 --> 00:44:32,097
(PANTS, GAGS)
(CLATTER)

1116
00:44:33,403 --> 00:44:34,528
You're gonna die.

1117
00:44:35,272 --> 00:44:37,601
Stop smiling!

1118
00:44:37,770 --> 00:44:40,142
I can't. Botox.

1119
00:44:40,311 --> 00:44:41,644
MAN: Hey!
Oh.

1120
00:44:41,813 --> 00:44:44,672
This is the mental ward.
Everyone smiles in here.

1121
00:44:44,841 --> 00:44:45,880
What?

1122
00:44:46,447 --> 00:44:48,508
How-- Um--

1123
00:44:48,677 --> 00:44:50,649
Could you point me
in the direction of the ICU?

1124
00:44:50,818 --> 00:44:52,321
Is it that way or that way?

1125
00:44:52,490 --> 00:44:53,985
Uh, visiting hours are over.

1126
00:44:54,154 --> 00:44:56,352
Oh, yes, of course.
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

1127
00:44:57,487 --> 00:44:58,991
GAIL ON TV:
<i>The network wants me to clarify</i>

1128
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:01,455
<i>that Black Friday</i>
<i>has nothing to do with race.</i>

1129
00:45:01,624 --> 00:45:03,563
<i>Well, just tell that</i>
<i>to my Black friend Benita</i>

1130
00:45:03,765 --> 00:45:05,031
<i>who's probably clocking someone</i>

1131
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,027
<i> over the head</i>
<i> at Target as we speak!</i>

1132
00:45:07,195 --> 00:45:08,133
<i> Right, Benita?</i>

1133
00:45:19,744 --> 00:45:20,717
(SQUEAK)

1134
00:45:23,682 --> 00:45:25,178
Shamone!

1135
00:45:25,347 --> 00:45:26,850
Man, you ain't Michael.

1136
00:45:27,019 --> 00:45:28,854
Michael got that Jheri curl.

1137
00:45:29,022 --> 00:45:30,817
What is that, son?
Is that shellac?

1138
00:45:30,986 --> 00:45:33,891
See, people think it's shellac,
but it's actually Sharpie.

1139
00:45:34,060 --> 00:45:35,525
Boy, your hair
looks like fondue.

1140
00:45:35,694 --> 00:45:36,895
Indoo-dy.

1141
00:45:37,064 --> 00:45:38,768
Michael's got a monkey.
I got a llama.

1142
00:45:39,698 --> 00:45:40,498
(BLEATS)

1143
00:45:40,667 --> 00:45:42,066
Fuck Michael!

1144
00:45:42,235 --> 00:45:44,270
You can't dance, boy.
I've been practicing.

1145
00:45:44,439 --> 00:45:46,142
Oh! Whoa!

1146
00:45:46,344 --> 00:45:47,570
Jeez.
(WHOOPING)

1147
00:45:47,739 --> 00:45:48,804
(CRASHING)

1148
00:45:49,006 --> 00:45:50,213
Yeah!
(GRUNTING)

1149
00:45:50,381 --> 00:45:51,908
Bong! Ow!
(GROANS)

1150
00:45:52,077 --> 00:45:54,807
I can moonwalk.
Ooh, ooh.

1151
00:45:55,009 --> 00:45:56,044
Ooh.

1152
00:45:56,213 --> 00:45:57,948
Where is this nigga goin'?

1153
00:45:58,117 --> 00:45:59,880
(BABBLING)
(FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING)

1154
00:46:00,049 --> 00:46:00,783
Ow! (GRUNTS)

1155
00:46:00,985 --> 00:46:02,951
(GRUNTING)
Whoo!

1156
00:46:03,153 --> 00:46:04,723
NARRATOR:<i> "Jermaine".</i>

1157
00:46:04,892 --> 00:46:06,628
(FUNKY MUSIC CONTINUES)

1158
00:46:06,831 --> 00:46:10,195
<i> Coming Juneteenth,</i>
<i> only on Tubi.</i>

1159
00:46:12,530 --> 00:46:14,469
(MUSIC STOPS)
I'ma bootleg that shit.

1160
00:46:14,638 --> 00:46:15,970
(DOOR CLOSES DISTANTLY)

1161
00:46:16,867 --> 00:46:18,005
Hello?

1162
00:46:19,309 --> 00:46:20,238
Fuck this.

1163
00:46:25,583 --> 00:46:27,278
I'm gonna miss you all.

1164
00:46:32,851 --> 00:46:34,318
Oh, hell no!

1165
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:36,617
Think Black, don't die.
Think Black, don't die.

1166
00:46:46,799 --> 00:46:47,831
(GRUNTS)
Oh!

1167
00:46:47,999 --> 00:46:50,100
Goddamn it!
Jack?

1168
00:46:50,269 --> 00:46:51,934
Did Sara tell you to come?
Um...

1169
00:46:52,103 --> 00:46:54,777
Yeah! That's why I'm here.

1170
00:46:54,946 --> 00:46:57,977
Not to murder you
or anything like that.

1171
00:46:58,146 --> 00:46:59,508
Then why
are you wearing gloves?

1172
00:47:00,474 --> 00:47:02,348
Would you believe I...

1173
00:47:02,551 --> 00:47:05,748
am thinking about dressing up
as O.J. Simpson for Halloween?

1174
00:47:05,917 --> 00:47:07,351
But those fit.

1175
00:47:08,215 --> 00:47:09,516
Look out!

1176
00:47:09,718 --> 00:47:11,623
Not cool, bro,
you almost hit a vein.

1177
00:47:11,792 --> 00:47:13,328
I-I mean--
Help!

1178
00:47:13,497 --> 00:47:14,457
(GHOSTFACE GRUNTS)

1179
00:47:15,223 --> 00:47:17,125
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1180
00:47:17,294 --> 00:47:18,362
JACK: (WHIMPERS)
Oh, yes!

1181
00:47:19,495 --> 00:47:20,731
(GRUNTS)
(PHONE CLANGS)

1182
00:47:20,933 --> 00:47:22,170
(GHOSTFACE GRUNTS)

1183
00:47:22,339 --> 00:47:23,537
Oh...

1184
00:47:23,705 --> 00:47:25,164
(MOANS)
(HISSING)

1185
00:47:25,333 --> 00:47:27,702
(COUGHS, WHEEZES)

1186
00:47:27,870 --> 00:47:32,013
GHOSTFACE: Whew. (COUGHS)
I'm gonna gut you like a pig!

1187
00:47:35,077 --> 00:47:36,377
(SNICKERS)

1188
00:47:36,580 --> 00:47:38,387
(ECHOING) I'm gonna...
(TUESDAY GIGGLES)

1189
00:47:38,589 --> 00:47:40,523
I'm gonna...
(LAUGHING)

1190
00:47:40,692 --> 00:47:42,291
(ECHOING)
What a stupid line.

1191
00:47:42,460 --> 00:47:44,185
(BOTH CACKLING)

1192
00:47:44,354 --> 00:47:45,818
GHOSTFACE: That is so true!

1193
00:47:45,986 --> 00:47:48,726
What are you gonna do?
Turn me into bacon?

1194
00:47:48,895 --> 00:47:50,057
(BOTH LAUGHING)

1195
00:47:50,226 --> 00:47:51,894
(IMITATES GNAWING)

1196
00:47:52,063 --> 00:47:53,196
(BOTH CACKLING)

1197
00:47:53,365 --> 00:47:54,703
GHOSTFACE:
I got to get better writers.

1198
00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:57,334
I'm laughing so hard,
my ribs hurt.

1199
00:47:57,503 --> 00:48:00,705
GHOSTFACE: Wait until
I stick my knife in them!

1200
00:48:00,874 --> 00:48:02,945
(DISTORTED LAUGHTER)

1201
00:48:05,312 --> 00:48:07,341
(GHOSTFACE BABBLES)
(DISTORTED LAUGHING)

1202
00:48:07,510 --> 00:48:09,681
GHOSTFACE:
I'm crying over here.

1203
00:48:09,849 --> 00:48:11,251
I got to go

1204
00:48:11,453 --> 00:48:13,348
before you really kill me.
(BREATHLESS) Here I come.

1205
00:48:13,517 --> 00:48:15,982
Oh, God,
I might die laughing first!

1206
00:48:16,151 --> 00:48:17,683
(CACKLES)

1207
00:48:17,852 --> 00:48:20,930
Oh. Oh, shit.
He's really gonna kill me.

1208
00:48:37,241 --> 00:48:39,113
(TUESDAY STRAINING)

1209
00:48:39,682 --> 00:48:41,874
(WHEELS SQUEAKING)

1210
00:48:42,544 --> 00:48:44,679
I want what they're on.

1211
00:48:45,246 --> 00:48:46,847
(GRUNTS)

1212
00:48:47,015 --> 00:48:49,554
GHOSTFACE: I'm gonna turn you
into bacon, little piggy.

1213
00:48:49,723 --> 00:48:50,751
(SCREAMS)

1214
00:48:52,356 --> 00:48:54,425
(TUESDAY WHIMPERING, SOBBING)

1215
00:48:55,961 --> 00:48:57,631
No, no.

1216
00:48:57,800 --> 00:48:59,463
No.
(ELEVATOR DINGS)

1217
00:49:01,631 --> 00:49:03,134
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Excuse me.

1218
00:49:03,302 --> 00:49:04,432
I'm so sorry.
Out of our way!

1219
00:49:04,601 --> 00:49:06,769
Step aside.
Official police business.

1220
00:49:06,938 --> 00:49:07,940
Doofy!

1221
00:49:08,109 --> 00:49:10,541
(CROWD GROANS)
I like doing that.

1222
00:49:10,710 --> 00:49:11,574
Ooh!

1223
00:49:12,540 --> 00:49:14,642
Smile, you son of a bitch.

1224
00:49:14,844 --> 00:49:17,881
GHOSTFACE: What the f...?
My psycho mother said

1225
00:49:18,050 --> 00:49:19,956
always keep a strap.

1226
00:49:21,592 --> 00:49:22,824
Go! Go!
Okay.

1227
00:49:22,993 --> 00:49:24,356
I'm gonna go get
your love interest.

1228
00:49:24,558 --> 00:49:25,923
I'll get your love interest.
(TUESDAY MOANING)

1229
00:49:26,092 --> 00:49:29,190
Ow, the pain, the agony.

1230
00:49:29,393 --> 00:49:31,460
Sara, if I don't make it...

1231
00:49:31,629 --> 00:49:33,968
Seriously, Tues,
stop trying to win an Oscar.

1232
00:49:34,137 --> 00:49:36,332
It's a horror movie,
it'll never happen.

1233
00:49:36,501 --> 00:49:38,572
Just ask Demi Moore.
(ELEVATOR DINGS)

1234
00:49:38,740 --> 00:49:41,439
(GROANS) No! No!

1235
00:49:41,607 --> 00:49:43,003
(TUESDAY WHIMPERING)
I got him. I got Jack.

1236
00:49:43,206 --> 00:49:44,079
(JACK SIGHS)

1237
00:49:45,445 --> 00:49:47,441
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
Doofy! What the fuck?

1238
00:49:47,610 --> 00:49:49,447
The fuck?
I can't help myself.

1239
00:49:51,988 --> 00:49:54,222
It's just me and you now,
Ghosty.

1240
00:49:54,424 --> 00:49:55,354
Hm.

1241
00:49:56,751 --> 00:49:58,619
You got to shoot them
in the head.

1242
00:49:58,788 --> 00:50:00,326
(WHISPERING)
Shoot them in the head.

1243
00:50:02,690 --> 00:50:05,133
(GHOSTFACE GRUNTS)
Oof. Ow.

1244
00:50:08,300 --> 00:50:10,498
GHOSTFACE: Die!
(WAILS)

1245
00:50:10,667 --> 00:50:12,340
GHOSTFACE:
Die, you little dumb dunce.

1246
00:50:12,509 --> 00:50:13,703
Smell...

1247
00:50:13,906 --> 00:50:14,934
my...

1248
00:50:15,678 --> 00:50:16,804
finger.

1249
00:50:17,681 --> 00:50:18,680
GHOSTFACE: Oh, God!

1250
00:50:18,849 --> 00:50:21,317
What the fuck was that? Ugh.

1251
00:50:21,486 --> 00:50:23,180
My ass.

1252
00:50:23,349 --> 00:50:25,380
GHOSTFACE:
Fuck your ass! Pause.

1253
00:50:25,549 --> 00:50:27,649
(GASPS, GRUNTS)
(STRAINS)

1254
00:50:27,818 --> 00:50:29,320
DOOFY: Oh, God,
that's-- that's my ass.

1255
00:50:29,489 --> 00:50:31,987
Oh, God. (GROANS)
GHOSTFACE: Any last words?

1256
00:50:32,156 --> 00:50:33,858
I go poopy.

1257
00:50:34,027 --> 00:50:35,257
(FARTS LOUDLY)

1258
00:50:35,459 --> 00:50:37,090
(DOOR CLICKS, CREAKS OPEN)

1259
00:50:37,293 --> 00:50:38,562
(GASPS)

1260
00:50:38,730 --> 00:50:41,293
Oh, hell no.
I ain't cleaning up that shit!

1261
00:50:41,462 --> 00:50:43,031
I'm on break.

1262
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:46,565
GHOSTFACE: Come on, I do the
killing, not the cleaning. Ugh.

1263
00:50:46,767 --> 00:50:48,743
What you say?
Never mind.

1264
00:50:48,946 --> 00:50:50,337
(AIRHORN)
Yo, what's up, chat?

1265
00:50:50,505 --> 00:50:51,971
This your boy Shorty.

1266
00:50:52,140 --> 00:50:53,576
That's right,
it's another Halloween-a-thon.

1267
00:50:53,778 --> 00:50:56,685
And it's another day
of me getting paid mad money

1268
00:50:56,854 --> 00:50:59,020
for doing absolutely nothing

1269
00:50:59,189 --> 00:51:00,780
while you stupid motherfuckers
watch.

1270
00:51:00,982 --> 00:51:03,455
(ALL CACKLING)
And they call me dumb!

1271
00:51:03,657 --> 00:51:06,628
I want to give a smooth
shout-out to my sponsor:

1272
00:51:06,830 --> 00:51:09,026
Angry Orchard Hard Cider.

1273
00:51:09,195 --> 00:51:10,324
(CRACKS CAN)
(SLURP)

1274
00:51:10,493 --> 00:51:12,893
They got mad apples, son.

1275
00:51:14,705 --> 00:51:16,028
(YELLING, LAUGHING)

1276
00:51:16,197 --> 00:51:19,040
We created a slogan!
I'm a marketing genius!

1277
00:51:19,209 --> 00:51:21,071
Aight. It wouldn't be
a Halloween-a-thon

1278
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:22,406
without a dope guest.

1279
00:51:22,575 --> 00:51:23,678
He's a legend
in the streaming game.

1280
00:51:23,847 --> 00:51:26,773
Give it up for Kai Cenat!

1281
00:51:26,942 --> 00:51:29,212
We gonna break the internet!
(CHEERING)

1282
00:51:29,381 --> 00:51:31,278
ALL:
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

1283
00:51:31,447 --> 00:51:33,049
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

1284
00:51:33,218 --> 00:51:35,249
(CHEERING, LAUGHING)

1285
00:51:35,418 --> 00:51:36,450
Let's get serious.

1286
00:51:36,619 --> 00:51:38,487
What brings you to the chat?

1287
00:51:38,690 --> 00:51:40,258
You promised
I was gonna be in the movie.

1288
00:51:40,427 --> 00:51:43,199
I've been calling you.
You ghosted me.

1289
00:51:43,367 --> 00:51:45,964
Bro, I thought that was one
of my crazy-ass baby mamas.

1290
00:51:46,167 --> 00:51:47,462
That's-- That's my bad.

1291
00:51:47,664 --> 00:51:49,695
And speaking of ghosted--
(SCOFFS)

1292
00:51:49,864 --> 00:51:51,606
Somebody wants to talk to you.

1293
00:51:51,775 --> 00:51:53,198
(MOUTHING)
Hello?

1294
00:51:53,367 --> 00:51:55,071
GHOSTFACE:<i> What's your favorite</i>
<i> scary movie?</i>

1295
00:51:55,240 --> 00:51:56,942
(ALL HOLLERING)

1296
00:51:57,110 --> 00:51:58,812
(LAUGHS) Nah!
Oh!

1297
00:51:58,981 --> 00:52:01,315
Oh, whoa, whoa!
Ah!

1298
00:52:02,049 --> 00:52:04,582
(ALL CHEERING)

1299
00:52:05,382 --> 00:52:07,955
(EXCITED CHATTER)

1300
00:52:08,124 --> 00:52:09,855
We breaking the internet, son!

1301
00:52:10,057 --> 00:52:11,124
What's up, my guy?

1302
00:52:11,293 --> 00:52:12,456
GHOSTFACE:
You got some Angry Orchard

1303
00:52:12,625 --> 00:52:13,752
Hard Cider in the house?
You damn right.

1304
00:52:13,921 --> 00:52:15,496
GHOSTFACE:
They got mad apples.

1305
00:52:15,698 --> 00:52:17,092
ALL: Oh!

1306
00:52:17,261 --> 00:52:18,323
Wassup?

1307
00:52:18,526 --> 00:52:19,998
Wassup?

1308
00:52:20,201 --> 00:52:22,171
(ALL YELLING EXCITEDLY)

1309
00:52:23,205 --> 00:52:24,773
We about to do
my favorite thing:

1310
00:52:24,942 --> 00:52:28,535
Spin the... wheel!
(CHEERING)

1311
00:52:28,737 --> 00:52:30,640
GROUP:
Extreme Noodle Game!

1312
00:52:30,809 --> 00:52:32,339
We gonna go back there
with these noodles

1313
00:52:32,508 --> 00:52:33,441
and we gonna smack

1314
00:52:33,610 --> 00:52:34,608
the fuck out you!
(CHUCKLES)

1315
00:52:34,777 --> 00:52:36,018
Then you gotta guess
who did it.

1316
00:52:36,187 --> 00:52:36,783
GHOSTFACE:
That doesn't even make sense.

1317
00:52:36,951 --> 00:52:37,885
(GROUP CHANTING)

1318
00:52:38,088 --> 00:52:38,781
GHOSTFACE:
This is a dumb game.

1319
00:52:40,651 --> 00:52:41,719
(CHEERING)
GHOSTFACE: Oh!

1320
00:52:41,922 --> 00:52:42,851
Uh...

1321
00:52:43,653 --> 00:52:44,451
Kai. Kai.
Man, what?

1322
00:52:44,620 --> 00:52:45,351
Yeah.
(MEN CACKLING)

1323
00:52:45,553 --> 00:52:48,454
(GROUP CHANTING)

1324
00:52:48,623 --> 00:52:50,324
(GHOSTFACE GRUNTS)

1325
00:52:50,493 --> 00:52:51,460
(METALLIC SCRAPE)

1326
00:52:51,629 --> 00:52:53,833
Wait-- No, no, no--
(ALL YELL)

1327
00:52:54,002 --> 00:52:56,105
(GHOSTFACE CHANTING)

1328
00:52:56,274 --> 00:53:00,301
You just killed Kai Cenat.
On the chat.

1329
00:53:00,470 --> 00:53:01,567
(FIREWORKS BURSTING)

1330
00:53:01,770 --> 00:53:03,205
We making history, son!

1331
00:53:03,374 --> 00:53:04,308
(ALL CHEERING)

1332
00:53:04,477 --> 00:53:05,577
(SINGING) Money, money, money!

1333
00:53:13,715 --> 00:53:15,686
(DISTANT SIRENS WAILING)

1334
00:53:25,165 --> 00:53:26,565
Oh, thank God.

1335
00:53:29,630 --> 00:53:30,830
(SIRENS STOP)

1336
00:53:30,999 --> 00:53:32,505
MAN: It's about time
you guys got here!

1337
00:53:33,174 --> 00:53:35,002
Now you're gonna get it.

1338
00:53:35,736 --> 00:53:36,843
(COPS GRUNT)
Oof!

1339
00:53:37,011 --> 00:53:38,077
(COPS GRUNTING)

1340
00:53:38,246 --> 00:53:39,710
COP: Hold still!
(BLOWS LAND)

1341
00:53:39,878 --> 00:53:41,577
So that's our suspect.
(BEATING CONTINUES, MUFFLED)

1342
00:53:41,746 --> 00:53:44,244
Goes by the name "Shorthand".
Hmm.

1343
00:53:44,413 --> 00:53:48,323
Was the handyman at a house
reputed to be haunted in 2001.

1344
00:53:49,459 --> 00:53:50,891
Is there anything
you're not telling me?

1345
00:53:51,060 --> 00:53:52,894
That your wife hates you

1346
00:53:53,063 --> 00:53:54,657
you believe the Earth is flat

1347
00:53:54,826 --> 00:53:56,761
and you voted for Trump
three times.

1348
00:53:56,964 --> 00:53:59,159
(STAMMERS) What, I was supposed
to vote for the woman?

1349
00:53:59,328 --> 00:54:00,664
Huh?

1350
00:54:00,833 --> 00:54:04,138
I believe Shorthand
is the notorious Ghostface.

1351
00:54:04,340 --> 00:54:05,597
(BEATING, SHOUTING
CONTINUES, MUFFLED)

1352
00:54:05,766 --> 00:54:07,799
What that mouth do?

1353
00:54:08,001 --> 00:54:09,408
Stop resisting!
(COP GRUNTS)

1354
00:54:09,577 --> 00:54:11,647
He did look pretty sketchy.
(BLOWS LANDING)

1355
00:54:11,849 --> 00:54:13,772
(BEATING CONTINUES)

1356
00:54:13,941 --> 00:54:15,216
(GROANING)
(THUDS)

1357
00:54:15,385 --> 00:54:17,285
They got the wrong guy.
(BEATING CONTINUES)

1358
00:54:17,487 --> 00:54:19,219
And you know that
because you're psychic?

1359
00:54:19,387 --> 00:54:21,356
No, says so
on the arrest warrant.

1360
00:54:23,820 --> 00:54:25,050
I don't know.
(BEATING CONTINUES)

1361
00:54:25,219 --> 00:54:27,355
That guy's Black.
Nah, he's kinda...

1362
00:54:27,524 --> 00:54:28,790
not that Black.

1363
00:54:28,992 --> 00:54:30,523
(COP SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY)
Like gravy brown.

1364
00:54:30,691 --> 00:54:32,094
(GRUNTS)
Ugh!

1365
00:54:32,263 --> 00:54:33,765
Get him!

1366
00:54:33,934 --> 00:54:35,462
Hit him with your strong hand!
(BEATING CONTINUES)

1367
00:54:35,631 --> 00:54:37,065
(GRUNTS) Boom!

1368
00:54:37,234 --> 00:54:39,935
Arrest him anyways.
Probably did something, right?

1369
00:54:40,868 --> 00:54:42,476
Turn off your body cams!

1370
00:54:43,245 --> 00:54:45,238
Miss Hailstorm, welcome back.

1371
00:54:45,407 --> 00:54:48,283
Doc, I'm begging you.
You got to help me
look younger.

1372
00:54:48,452 --> 00:54:49,941
These little bitches
are killing me out there.

1373
00:54:50,110 --> 00:54:51,151
They're wearing nothing but a--

1374
00:54:51,353 --> 00:54:53,279
a sausage casing
and a ring light.

1375
00:54:53,448 --> 00:54:57,749
Trust me with this withered,
decrepit, age-ravaged body,

1376
00:54:57,918 --> 00:54:59,995
and I will make you whole.

1377
00:55:00,197 --> 00:55:01,457
One Middle-Aged
White Lady Special

1378
00:55:01,626 --> 00:55:03,129
coming right up.
Thanks.

1379
00:55:03,298 --> 00:55:04,429
I'm gonna play a quick video

1380
00:55:04,598 --> 00:55:05,795
on the ins and outs
of the procedure,

1381
00:55:05,964 --> 00:55:08,161
and then we'll get started.
(CHUCKLES)

1382
00:55:10,130 --> 00:55:11,703
(HEAVY ELECTRONIC
MUSIC PLAYING)

1383
00:55:11,905 --> 00:55:14,670
NARRATOR:<i> Do you wish</i>
<i>you weren't so old and saggy?</i>

1384
00:55:14,839 --> 00:55:17,339
<i>Do you wish you were younger?</i>
<i>Sexier?</i>

1385
00:55:17,508 --> 00:55:19,038
<i> Fuckable again?</i>

1386
00:55:19,241 --> 00:55:22,510
<i> One single injection</i>
<i> unlocks your DNA,</i>

1387
00:55:22,713 --> 00:55:25,453
<i>creating a new, better you.</i>

1388
00:55:26,154 --> 00:55:28,350
<i> This is The Stuff.</i>

1389
00:55:28,552 --> 00:55:29,785
(MUSIC BLARES, CUTS)

1390
00:55:29,954 --> 00:55:32,084
Doc, this isn't that
Gwyneth Paltrow crap

1391
00:55:32,253 --> 00:55:34,187
that makes you
smell like her vag, is it?

1392
00:55:36,631 --> 00:55:38,127
("BRAND NEW"
BY ALIYA'S INTERLUDE PLAYS)

1393
00:55:38,296 --> 00:55:39,159
I like it.

1394
00:55:42,103 --> 00:55:42,965
(YELPS)

1395
00:55:44,502 --> 00:55:45,869
(PAINED SHOUT)

1396
00:55:47,341 --> 00:55:48,639
♪<i> I feel...</i> ♪

1397
00:55:48,841 --> 00:55:50,439
(LIPS POP)
♪<i> Brand fucking new</i> ♪

1398
00:55:50,641 --> 00:55:51,374
♪<i> New</i> ♪

1399
00:55:51,576 --> 00:55:52,607
♪<i> New</i> ♪

1400
00:55:52,810 --> 00:55:54,306
♪<i> Brand fucking new</i> ♪

1401
00:55:55,647 --> 00:55:57,551
Wow, that's a lot of Stuff.

1402
00:55:59,319 --> 00:56:00,554
Oh, a mask on a mask.

1403
00:56:01,256 --> 00:56:02,787
Safety first, right, Doc?

1404
00:56:03,488 --> 00:56:04,683
(PAINED SHOUT, GASPS)

1405
00:56:04,852 --> 00:56:06,826
(WHIMPERS) Oh, no!

1406
00:56:06,995 --> 00:56:07,996
(GASPS)

1407
00:56:08,165 --> 00:56:09,923
I'm having second thoughts!

1408
00:56:10,126 --> 00:56:12,258
I'm gonna love
and accept myself as I am.

1409
00:56:13,067 --> 00:56:14,100
(SCREAMS)

1410
00:56:14,303 --> 00:56:15,633
("BRAND NEW" CONTINUES)

1411
00:56:15,836 --> 00:56:17,162
(GASPS, GRUNTS)
♪<i> I feel</i> ♪

1412
00:56:17,331 --> 00:56:19,038
♪<i> Brand fucking new</i> ♪
(GRUNTS)

1413
00:56:19,207 --> 00:56:20,832
(AGONIZED GROANING)

1414
00:56:21,001 --> 00:56:24,171
(WHIMPERING, GROANING)

1415
00:56:26,113 --> 00:56:28,076
(BURBLING)

1416
00:56:30,680 --> 00:56:32,245
(LOW GURGLING)

1417
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:34,885
(PAINED GROAN)

1418
00:56:46,367 --> 00:56:47,297
(DISTANT ECHOING SCREAM)

1419
00:56:47,499 --> 00:56:49,471
(REVERBERATING TONES)

1420
00:56:51,399 --> 00:56:53,442
(HIGH-PITCHED RINGING)
(MUFFLED BREATHING)

1421
00:57:15,758 --> 00:57:17,589
Oops. Wrong movie.

1422
00:57:17,758 --> 00:57:19,765
(GIGGLES)

1423
00:57:19,934 --> 00:57:22,262
You were thinking it.
GHOSTFACE: But you said it.

1424
00:57:23,471 --> 00:57:25,331
<i> White Chicks 2,</i> my ass.

1425
00:57:25,533 --> 00:57:26,937
("BRAND NEW" CONTINUES)
♪<i> I feel</i> ♪

1426
00:57:27,106 --> 00:57:28,277
♪<i> Brand fucking new</i> ♪
(NEEDLE CLATTERS)

1427
00:57:28,446 --> 00:57:29,508
♪<i> New</i> ♪
(SNEAKERS SQUEAKING)

1428
00:57:29,710 --> 00:57:32,481
♪<i> I feel brand fucking new</i> ♪

1429
00:57:33,908 --> 00:57:35,583
CINDY:
Hey, Sara.

1430
00:57:36,713 --> 00:57:38,217
(SIGHS) Tuesday, I--

1431
00:57:38,385 --> 00:57:40,252
I tried to visit you.

1432
00:57:40,421 --> 00:57:42,682
I am sorry for everything.

1433
00:57:42,884 --> 00:57:44,655
Especially your name.

1434
00:57:44,824 --> 00:57:47,353
It was Taco Tuesday.
I was super drunk.

1435
00:57:47,555 --> 00:57:51,192
But I promise you,
I will kill this motherfucker!

1436
00:57:51,394 --> 00:57:52,664
It's fine, really, we're cool.
JACK: I'm gonna--

1437
00:57:52,833 --> 00:57:54,026
I'll pull the car around.
We're good.

1438
00:57:54,228 --> 00:57:55,733
I'm going to take you
to the car!

1439
00:57:55,902 --> 00:57:58,229
I got stabbed.
I'm not deaf, you dumbass!

1440
00:57:58,398 --> 00:58:00,938
I'm taking Tues away
from all of this!

1441
00:58:01,904 --> 00:58:03,105
Oh...
Come on, Cindy.

1442
00:58:03,940 --> 00:58:05,979
I tried to run, too, but...

1443
00:58:06,148 --> 00:58:08,507
it follows!

1444
00:58:08,709 --> 00:58:11,312
Now you're probably expecting
a flashback to that movie,

1445
00:58:11,480 --> 00:58:13,819
but it's too obscure.
Yeah, and the plot is weird.

1446
00:58:13,987 --> 00:58:16,181
You have sex with someone,
give them a STD

1447
00:58:16,350 --> 00:58:17,487
and then it haunts them
in the form

1448
00:58:17,656 --> 00:58:18,488
of their naked grandma.

1449
00:58:18,657 --> 00:58:20,789
It's like a STD biopic.

1450
00:58:20,958 --> 00:58:22,130
Ugh, the killer is taunting me.

1451
00:58:22,299 --> 00:58:23,691
Why doesn't he just kill us?

1452
00:58:23,860 --> 00:58:25,233
Uh, speak for yourself.

1453
00:58:25,435 --> 00:58:27,128
Like, what are you waiting for?

1454
00:58:27,297 --> 00:58:30,429
Oh, no, no, no, sweetie,
sweetie. It's like this.

1455
00:58:31,738 --> 00:58:34,933
What are you waiting for, huh?

1456
00:58:35,102 --> 00:58:37,804
What are you waiting for?

1457
00:58:37,973 --> 00:58:40,510
What are you waiting for?

1458
00:58:40,679 --> 00:58:42,241
What are you waiting for?

1459
00:58:42,443 --> 00:58:43,975
God, I wish
you weren't my mother!

1460
00:58:44,144 --> 00:58:46,755
What are you waiting for?

1461
00:58:46,957 --> 00:58:48,188
(GROANS)

1462
00:58:48,356 --> 00:58:49,349
SHORTY:<i> Candyman.</i>

1463
00:58:50,224 --> 00:58:51,483
Candyman.

1464
00:58:52,325 --> 00:58:53,991
Candyman.

1465
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:57,192
You sure about this?
FRIEND: Yeah, keep saying it.

1466
00:58:58,331 --> 00:58:59,491
Candyman.

1467
00:59:00,700 --> 00:59:02,669
Candyman! (GASPS)
(BOOM)

1468
00:59:02,838 --> 00:59:05,166
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(SHORTY YELPS, WHIMPERS)

1469
00:59:05,335 --> 00:59:07,367
(THUNDER ROLLING)
(ELECTRICITY BUZZES SOFTLY)

1470
00:59:14,248 --> 00:59:16,211
(WHIMPERS)

1471
00:59:19,721 --> 00:59:21,854
So what's up?
You got that candy, man?

1472
00:59:22,757 --> 00:59:25,016
I got weed gummies.
SHORTY: Yeah.

1473
00:59:25,185 --> 00:59:26,518
K-nuts.
SHORTY: Yeah.

1474
00:59:26,686 --> 00:59:28,220
Shroom chocolates.
SHORTY: (GIGGLES) Shit, son!

1475
00:59:28,389 --> 00:59:30,322
And what take you so long
to show up?

1476
00:59:30,491 --> 00:59:33,266
Come on, Clarence.
I called you five times.

1477
00:59:33,468 --> 00:59:34,898
Nigga, show up in three.

1478
00:59:35,067 --> 00:59:36,863
You ain't even call me
on the phone.

1479
00:59:37,032 --> 00:59:38,398
Luckily I was walking by

1480
00:59:38,567 --> 00:59:40,542
and heard y'all
through the hole in this wall.

1481
00:59:40,711 --> 00:59:43,273
And fix that shit.
You shut your ass up.

1482
00:59:43,475 --> 00:59:45,975
You need to go
to a proctologist
and get your skin looked at.

1483
00:59:46,177 --> 00:59:49,310
Having acne over
the age of 40 is wild work.

1484
00:59:49,512 --> 00:59:51,546
I look better than this nigga.
Maybe on this side.

1485
00:59:51,715 --> 00:59:54,148
Hey, ain't no time for beefing.
We about to be high as fuck.

1486
00:59:54,350 --> 00:59:56,423
We gonna party, son!
(CACKLES, SCREAMS)

1487
00:59:56,592 --> 00:59:58,721
("WORK"
BY JAKOB CAMPBELL PLAYS)

1488
00:59:58,890 --> 01:00:00,820
♪<i> Coming in hot</i>
<i> They better watch it...</i> ♪
Happy Halloween, y'all.

1489
01:00:01,022 --> 01:00:02,364
Watch out for Ghostface.
♪<i> If they come</i>
<i> For my spot...</i> ♪

1490
01:00:02,532 --> 01:00:05,057
That's right. Drink up!
GIRL: Hey!

1491
01:00:05,226 --> 01:00:07,926
Hey! I love it. Look at that.

1492
01:00:08,095 --> 01:00:09,401
You're looking good.

1493
01:00:09,569 --> 01:00:10,902
You seen your sister?

1494
01:00:11,071 --> 01:00:13,032
♪<i> You always better</i> ♪
(SIGHS)

1495
01:00:13,201 --> 01:00:15,302
♪<i> When you at the top</i>
<i> But I had...</i> ♪
BRENDA: Ray, you seen Dei?

1496
01:00:15,504 --> 01:00:17,470
I-I can't find her since
she went to that protest.

1497
01:00:18,148 --> 01:00:19,846
No.
(SIGHS)

1498
01:00:21,081 --> 01:00:24,483
Ray, let me guess.
You are Woody from<i> Toy Story!</i>

1499
01:00:24,652 --> 01:00:26,653
Nah, Brenda, that's gay.
Oh.

1500
01:00:26,822 --> 01:00:29,647
Jake Gyllenhaal
from Brokeback Mountain.

1501
01:00:29,816 --> 01:00:32,892
"I wish I knew how to quit you,
but I can't."

1502
01:00:33,758 --> 01:00:35,921
You love that movie!

1503
01:00:36,090 --> 01:00:37,489
Hey, Brenda!
Huh?

1504
01:00:37,691 --> 01:00:39,600
(STAMMERS) Have you seen
my big old bag of candy?

1505
01:00:39,769 --> 01:00:42,737
It had chocolates,
gummies, lollipops.

1506
01:00:43,405 --> 01:00:44,338
I-It's gone missing.

1507
01:00:44,540 --> 01:00:45,738
No, no, no, it's not missing.

1508
01:00:45,907 --> 01:00:47,673
I passed it out
to the trick-or-treaters.

1509
01:00:47,842 --> 01:00:51,036
Brenda, that's my stash!
(GASPS)

1510
01:00:51,239 --> 01:00:53,473
(DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)

1511
01:01:00,455 --> 01:01:01,818
(CHILD LAUGHS)

1512
01:01:01,987 --> 01:01:05,661
(ECHOING) I'm so fucking high!

1513
01:01:08,725 --> 01:01:09,694
Whoo-hoo!

1514
01:01:09,896 --> 01:01:12,624
(ECHOING) I can't feel my face!

1515
01:01:14,901 --> 01:01:18,806
(ECHOING)
I'm on that Naruto shit!

1516
01:01:19,675 --> 01:01:23,369
(ECHOING)
Six-seven! Six-seven!

1517
01:01:23,538 --> 01:01:25,179
(ENGINE REVS, HORN HONKS)
(SCREAMS)

1518
01:01:25,347 --> 01:01:27,148
(ECHOING SCREAM)

1519
01:01:27,316 --> 01:01:29,344
(TRAIN RUMBLING)

1520
01:01:45,202 --> 01:01:46,361
(SOFT GASP)

1521
01:01:48,701 --> 01:01:50,332
(WHISPERING) Fuck.

1522
01:01:54,237 --> 01:01:57,240
(FAINT, ECHOING CHILD'S VOICE)

1523
01:01:58,206 --> 01:01:59,581
Why is she looking at me?

1524
01:01:59,750 --> 01:02:01,178
("STILL OUTSIDE"
BY BIG BOSS VETTE PLAYS)

1525
01:02:01,380 --> 01:02:02,282
♪<i> Fucking with a boss, yeah</i>
<i>It costs ya</i> ♪

1526
01:02:02,484 --> 01:02:04,350
A little disturbing.

1527
01:02:04,518 --> 01:02:05,751
I'm here for it.

1528
01:02:05,953 --> 01:02:07,349
♪<i> Yeah</i>
<i> It's all there</i> ♪

1529
01:02:07,551 --> 01:02:08,489
♪<i> Bend it over</i>
<i> Touch your paws, yeah</i> ♪

1530
01:02:08,691 --> 01:02:09,419
♪<i> Make it talk, yeah</i> ♪

1531
01:02:09,621 --> 01:02:10,955
Oh. Okay.

1532
01:02:11,157 --> 01:02:13,189
♪<i> Make that ass jump</i>
<i> Uh-huh</i> ♪

1533
01:02:13,358 --> 01:02:14,186
♪<i> Make that ass jump</i> ♪
Hey, hey!

1534
01:02:14,388 --> 01:02:15,697
♪<i> You better</i> ♪

1535
01:02:15,899 --> 01:02:17,492
♪<i> You better</i>
<i> Make that ass jump</i> ♪

1536
01:02:17,694 --> 01:02:19,459
♪<i> My nigga sleep so you know</i>
<i>I'm outside tho</i> ♪

1537
01:02:19,661 --> 01:02:21,364
♪<i> Jet skis ass out</i>
<i> Crop top hoe--</i> ♪

1538
01:02:21,533 --> 01:02:23,037
Hey!

1539
01:02:23,206 --> 01:02:26,599
Do you know how many baby seals
die from microplastics?

1540
01:02:34,283 --> 01:02:35,140
Shit.

1541
01:02:35,342 --> 01:02:36,909
GHOSTFACE: It's Ghostface!

1542
01:02:37,078 --> 01:02:38,377
(GASPS)

1543
01:02:38,545 --> 01:02:40,349
(STABBING)
(GRUNTS, YELPS)

1544
01:02:41,657 --> 01:02:43,283
Oh, my God! He stabbed her!

1545
01:02:43,485 --> 01:02:46,425
Not "her".
My pronouns are "they/them".

1546
01:02:46,594 --> 01:02:48,227
He stabbed "them"!

1547
01:02:48,396 --> 01:02:50,958
I'm over 40. How am I supposed
to keep up with all of this?

1548
01:02:51,161 --> 01:02:52,123
GHOSTFACE: She's not wrong.

1549
01:02:52,292 --> 01:02:53,926
It's Karens like you

1550
01:02:54,095 --> 01:02:57,428
that keep the patriarchy going,
with their knees on our necks!

1551
01:02:57,597 --> 01:03:00,139
Now you're playing
the race card?

1552
01:03:00,307 --> 01:03:02,910
I've had enough of her shit.
"Their" shit, bitch!

1553
01:03:05,040 --> 01:03:05,807
(YELPS)

1554
01:03:05,975 --> 01:03:06,977
And to be clear,

1555
01:03:07,180 --> 01:03:09,716
my real name is Karen!
(STABBING)

1556
01:03:09,885 --> 01:03:11,747
GHOSTFACE:
Oh, shit. This is too good.

1557
01:03:11,916 --> 01:03:13,447
Ignore the insults.

1558
01:03:13,616 --> 01:03:15,652
"They" don't realize
we're here to help "them".

1559
01:03:15,854 --> 01:03:17,383
Toxic masculinity

1560
01:03:17,552 --> 01:03:20,152
and mansplaining
doesn't help anybody!

1561
01:03:20,355 --> 01:03:22,088
How is my masculinity toxic?

1562
01:03:22,257 --> 01:03:23,862
I love women and sports.

1563
01:03:24,064 --> 01:03:26,698
Just not together.
Come here, bitch.

1564
01:03:26,900 --> 01:03:28,494
(STABS)
MAN: My turn!

1565
01:03:28,663 --> 01:03:30,030
MAN 2: Me next!
MAN 3: They ain't ready for

1566
01:03:30,232 --> 01:03:31,166
this!
(WHIMPERS)

1567
01:03:31,334 --> 01:03:32,298
MAN 4: Let me at them!
Me next!

1568
01:03:32,467 --> 01:03:33,264
Fuck your pronouns.
Oh, shit.

1569
01:03:33,433 --> 01:03:34,704
Suck knife.
(GRUNTS)

1570
01:03:34,906 --> 01:03:36,969
(AGONIZED MOAN)

1571
01:03:37,138 --> 01:03:38,174
(THUDS)

1572
01:03:38,376 --> 01:03:40,045
GHOSTFACE:
I blame the manosphere.

1573
01:03:40,247 --> 01:03:41,449
♪<i> Hit the bar</i>
<i> Rock side-to-side</i> ♪

1574
01:03:41,652 --> 01:03:43,347
♪<i> And lean in a bit</i> ♪

1575
01:03:43,550 --> 01:03:44,651
♪<i> Shining like a star</i>
<i> 'Cause every night...</i> ♪

1576
01:03:44,820 --> 01:03:46,651
Uncle Shorty.
What's up, nephew?

1577
01:03:46,820 --> 01:03:48,417
Can I ask you something?

1578
01:03:48,952 --> 01:03:50,188
Yeah, shoot.

1579
01:03:51,253 --> 01:03:53,119
It's about, y-you know

1580
01:03:53,288 --> 01:03:54,852
how to go down on a girl.

1581
01:03:55,655 --> 01:03:56,727
You talking about eating pussy?

1582
01:03:56,930 --> 01:03:59,497
That's so cringe, but yeah.

1583
01:03:59,666 --> 01:04:02,469
Well, maybe if you stop talking
like a 14-year-old white girl

1584
01:04:02,638 --> 01:04:04,130
you could learn something.

1585
01:04:04,299 --> 01:04:05,563
All right, so listen up.

1586
01:04:05,765 --> 01:04:07,139
First thing you got to do,
you got to--

1587
01:04:07,307 --> 01:04:08,874
You got to spread them legs.
You got to open it up.

1588
01:04:09,042 --> 01:04:10,638
Then you want
to use your fingers.

1589
01:04:10,807 --> 01:04:13,609
Sometimes you can use two.
Two fingers, like that there.

1590
01:04:13,778 --> 01:04:14,947
Yeah?

1591
01:04:15,116 --> 01:04:16,808
Now, once you get it
all in there, now...

1592
01:04:17,621 --> 01:04:18,947
you got to use your tongue.

1593
01:04:19,116 --> 01:04:20,354
You can't be afraid of it.

1594
01:04:20,523 --> 01:04:23,522
(MOANING, GRUNTING)

1595
01:04:23,691 --> 01:04:25,188
Yeah, lean into it.

1596
01:04:25,357 --> 01:04:26,721
Nah, nah, nah,
you doing it too fast.

1597
01:04:26,890 --> 01:04:28,056
(GABBLES)

1598
01:04:28,225 --> 01:04:29,490
What are you, a lizard?

1599
01:04:29,659 --> 01:04:31,432
You got to be gentle.
You got to talk to it.

1600
01:04:31,635 --> 01:04:33,000
"Hey there, little guy,

1601
01:04:33,168 --> 01:04:34,826
how you doing?"
(SOFTLY)
Hey there, little guy.

1602
01:04:35,772 --> 01:04:38,198
Boom!
Just like rolling a blunt.

1603
01:04:38,367 --> 01:04:40,238
All you got to do, nephew...

1604
01:04:43,846 --> 01:04:45,375
(BREATHLESSLY)
Is hit that shit.

1605
01:04:46,043 --> 01:04:47,413
Got it?
Mm-hmm.

1606
01:04:47,615 --> 01:04:48,916
All right, now

1607
01:04:49,118 --> 01:04:52,553
if you want to learn
to lick ass, ask your mama.

1608
01:04:52,722 --> 01:04:54,752
(ELLE MOANING)
(LOUD KISSING)

1609
01:04:54,954 --> 01:04:57,455
ELLE: You feel so good.

1610
01:04:57,657 --> 01:04:58,852
(MOANING)

1611
01:04:59,021 --> 01:05:00,095
Oh, yeah.

1612
01:05:00,264 --> 01:05:01,792
Elle.

1613
01:05:01,994 --> 01:05:03,392
I want to try something.

1614
01:05:03,561 --> 01:05:05,630
I-I thought you said
you'd never let me peg you.

1615
01:05:05,832 --> 01:05:07,366
What? No. (SCOFFS)

1616
01:05:07,535 --> 01:05:08,898
Relax.

1617
01:05:09,067 --> 01:05:10,534
I just want to taste you.

1618
01:05:10,703 --> 01:05:12,369
(CHUCKLES)

1619
01:05:13,167 --> 01:05:14,375
Okay.

1620
01:05:14,544 --> 01:05:15,675
(BELL TINKLES)

1621
01:05:15,844 --> 01:05:17,401
Dinner time. (CHUCKLES)

1622
01:05:17,570 --> 01:05:20,080
Oh, yeah, come here, baby.

1623
01:05:21,179 --> 01:05:22,916
(MOANING)
(BRAD MOANING)

1624
01:05:23,085 --> 01:05:25,244
Careful. My kitty is gangster.
(SLAP)

1625
01:05:25,412 --> 01:05:27,114
Oh! (CHUCKLING) Oh...

1626
01:05:27,282 --> 01:05:29,418
It is gangster. Okay.

1627
01:05:29,587 --> 01:05:32,226
Slapped you so hard,
you want some more. Yeah!

1628
01:05:32,395 --> 01:05:34,155
(GASPING)

1629
01:05:34,358 --> 01:05:35,954
(ELLE MOANS)
(GRUNTS, GABBLES)

1630
01:05:36,123 --> 01:05:37,427
Oh!

1631
01:05:37,596 --> 01:05:40,325
You feel so much better
than Darrel and them.

1632
01:05:40,527 --> 01:05:41,501
Choo-choo!
(GRUNTING)

1633
01:05:41,703 --> 01:05:42,635
Get back in there!

1634
01:05:42,838 --> 01:05:44,066
Yeah! Lick it!
(SLURPING)

1635
01:05:44,235 --> 01:05:46,471
(ROARING) Yeah! Lick it hard!

1636
01:05:46,673 --> 01:05:47,574
(GRUNTS)

1637
01:05:47,743 --> 01:05:48,935
(DEEP VOICE) Finish her.

1638
01:05:49,104 --> 01:05:50,568
(MOANING)

1639
01:05:50,737 --> 01:05:53,876
Oh, my God!
(SLURPING, GABBLING)

1640
01:05:54,045 --> 01:05:56,110
(BOTH PANTING)

1641
01:05:56,279 --> 01:05:57,879
Just like rolling a blunt.

1642
01:05:58,048 --> 01:05:58,917
(ELLE MOANS)

1643
01:05:59,086 --> 01:06:01,022
Now all I got to do is hit it.

1644
01:06:02,252 --> 01:06:03,422
(SIZZLES)
(SCREAMS)

1645
01:06:03,591 --> 01:06:05,151
Oh-- Oof!

1646
01:06:05,320 --> 01:06:06,621
Elle!
(KNOCKING)

1647
01:06:08,961 --> 01:06:10,261
What the fuck?

1648
01:06:10,430 --> 01:06:12,924
Hey there. We heard tell
of a Halloween party.

1649
01:06:13,559 --> 01:06:14,765
You did now, did you?

1650
01:06:14,934 --> 01:06:16,069
We're here to drink,

1651
01:06:16,238 --> 01:06:18,435
play bad music,
do some half gay shit.

1652
01:06:19,235 --> 01:06:20,470
Why just half gay?

1653
01:06:21,269 --> 01:06:22,136
Can I help you?

1654
01:06:22,305 --> 01:06:24,402
If you just invite us in.

1655
01:06:24,571 --> 01:06:25,979
Why you need a invitation?

1656
01:06:26,148 --> 01:06:27,742
White folks show up
to parties uninvited

1657
01:06:27,911 --> 01:06:30,217
all the time with their little
nasty-ass casseroles.

1658
01:06:30,419 --> 01:06:32,613
Bland as shit. Y'all better
start using some Lawry's.

1659
01:06:32,782 --> 01:06:35,012
Mm-hmm.
And why she got
them dirty-ass feet?

1660
01:06:35,181 --> 01:06:37,888
Look like you
was walking around
porn sets all day.

1661
01:06:38,091 --> 01:06:39,185
Got them trailer park toes.

1662
01:06:39,354 --> 01:06:40,962
(GIGGLES) Shit, son!

1663
01:06:41,131 --> 01:06:43,658
I think you're in
the wrong place. Y'all Klan?

1664
01:06:44,766 --> 01:06:45,800
No. (CHUCKLES)

1665
01:06:45,968 --> 01:06:48,668
We believe in music
and equality.

1666
01:06:48,837 --> 01:06:50,036
How about we show y'all?

1667
01:06:50,238 --> 01:06:52,229
It's okay, no.
(GENTLE COUNTRY MUSIC)

1668
01:06:52,432 --> 01:06:54,604
♪<i> Well, we're movin' on up</i> ♪
♪<i> Movin' on up</i> ♪

1669
01:06:54,806 --> 01:06:58,311
♪<i> To the East Side</i> ♪
♪<i> Movin' on up</i> ♪

1670
01:06:58,514 --> 01:07:00,510
♪<i> To a deluxe apartment</i> ♪
♪<i> Ooh</i> ♪

1671
01:07:00,712 --> 01:07:02,750
♪<i> In the sky</i> ♪
♪<i> Ooh</i> ♪

1672
01:07:02,952 --> 01:07:04,411
♪<i> We're movin' on up</i> ♪

1673
01:07:04,613 --> 01:07:06,417
They gentrified the Jeffersons?

1674
01:07:06,619 --> 01:07:08,583
Weezy's rolling around
in her grave right now.

1675
01:07:08,785 --> 01:07:11,522
You can't do this
to the Black National Anthem.

1676
01:07:11,725 --> 01:07:15,723
♪<i> We finally got</i>
<i> A piece of the pie!</i> ♪

1677
01:07:17,425 --> 01:07:18,863
(SIGHS)
(PANTS)

1678
01:07:19,032 --> 01:07:20,393
BOTH: Boo!
(YELPING)

1679
01:07:20,596 --> 01:07:22,335
Nigga, you suck!
Boo your ass!

1680
01:07:22,504 --> 01:07:24,498
We worked hard on this!
Take that bullshit
out of here!

1681
01:07:24,667 --> 01:07:26,073
We ain't got time
for that dumb shit!

1682
01:07:26,275 --> 01:07:27,975
Why won't ya just go
to one of those frat parties

1683
01:07:28,144 --> 01:07:29,636
where they drink until
they black out

1684
01:07:29,805 --> 01:07:31,211
and wake up
with their booties hurting,

1685
01:07:31,380 --> 01:07:33,446
not knowing what someone
in a cowboy hat did to them?

1686
01:07:33,649 --> 01:07:34,777
Yeah! What?

1687
01:07:34,980 --> 01:07:36,081
JACK: Okay.

1688
01:07:36,250 --> 01:07:38,016
Well, we will leave
you guys alone.

1689
01:07:38,185 --> 01:07:39,381
But we're gonna walk real slow

1690
01:07:39,550 --> 01:07:41,887
just in case
y'all change your minds.

1691
01:07:42,056 --> 01:07:42,915
(CLEARS THROAT, SNIFFS)

1692
01:07:44,192 --> 01:07:45,923
Change your minds yet?
BOTH: No.

1693
01:07:46,092 --> 01:07:47,022
Not at all.
Hell no.

1694
01:07:47,191 --> 01:07:48,386
How about now?

1695
01:07:48,554 --> 01:07:50,191
Fuck no!
No!

1696
01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:51,359
Yes?
Hell to the nah.

1697
01:07:51,528 --> 01:07:52,691
Definitely not!
Keep walking!

1698
01:07:52,860 --> 01:07:54,033
RAY: Now git!
SARA: Let's go.

1699
01:07:54,202 --> 01:07:55,365
TUESDAY: Sara, come on!
White folks

1700
01:07:55,534 --> 01:07:57,369
is getting weird again.
(BRENDA GROANS)

1701
01:07:59,803 --> 01:08:02,103
Guys, I think I saw
an open window over here.

1702
01:08:02,305 --> 01:08:03,367
That window's closed.

1703
01:08:03,536 --> 01:08:05,078
Not for long.

1704
01:08:05,247 --> 01:08:09,110
(VOCALIZES "DEFYING GRAVITY"
FROM "WICKED")

1705
01:08:09,278 --> 01:08:11,111
(GLASS SHATTERS)

1706
01:08:11,280 --> 01:08:12,312
Wicked.

1707
01:08:12,514 --> 01:08:13,812
Oh, God. Fucking idiots.

1708
01:08:14,014 --> 01:08:15,219
("BAD TO THE BONE"
BY RUBY X PAPATINHO PLAYS)

1709
01:08:15,421 --> 01:08:17,356
♪<i> Bad, bad, bad to the bone</i> ♪

1710
01:08:17,558 --> 01:08:19,322
♪<i> We can play</i>
<i>But you can't take me home</i> ♪

1711
01:08:19,524 --> 01:08:20,793
♪<i> Bad, bad shows off the...</i> ♪

1712
01:08:20,996 --> 01:08:24,962
Hey! Tuesday! You came back!

1713
01:08:25,164 --> 01:08:27,096
Yeah, I left my inhaler.

1714
01:08:27,264 --> 01:08:30,102
Honestly, Tuesday,
that inhaler is the worst
plot device in movie history.

1715
01:08:30,270 --> 01:08:31,798
That's true,
should've been a vape.

1716
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:34,402
But we're here now,
so let's make the most of it.

1717
01:08:34,571 --> 01:08:36,735
Now where them White Claws at?

1718
01:08:36,904 --> 01:08:38,608
(SHRIEKS, WHOOPS)
(PHONE RINGING)

1719
01:08:41,642 --> 01:08:43,351
CINDY:<i> Sara?</i>
Hello.

1720
01:08:43,553 --> 01:08:46,821
Get your sister and get out
of there right now. Okay, hon?

1721
01:08:46,990 --> 01:08:49,683
I am a grown-ass woman, Mother.

1722
01:08:49,886 --> 01:08:51,655
I don't have to do
anything you tell me to do.

1723
01:08:51,823 --> 01:08:53,628
<i> That's the house where</i>
<i> your psycho father</i>

1724
01:08:53,797 --> 01:08:54,963
<i> killed those people.</i>

1725
01:08:55,132 --> 01:08:56,421
<i> Someone wanted</i>
<i> to get you there.</i>

1726
01:08:56,590 --> 01:08:58,426
Which means...

1727
01:08:58,595 --> 01:09:01,133
someone wants to get me there.

1728
01:09:01,301 --> 01:09:02,835
Oh, my God,
this isn't about you!

1729
01:09:03,004 --> 01:09:04,302
<i> Why are you yelling?</i>

1730
01:09:04,471 --> 01:09:07,305
Because the camera's
so fucking far away!

1731
01:09:07,474 --> 01:09:10,341
Wait, hold on.
Are you tracking my phone?

1732
01:09:10,543 --> 01:09:11,471
(IMITATES STATIC)
You're breaking up.

1733
01:09:11,640 --> 01:09:12,741
Uh-- Yeah.
(IMITATES STATIC)

1734
01:09:15,652 --> 01:09:16,844
(ENGINE REVS)

1735
01:09:17,977 --> 01:09:20,616
(ENGINE REVS)
Happy Birthday!

1736
01:09:20,785 --> 01:09:23,983
(TIRES SQUEAL, ENGINE ROARS)
Hey, that's my car!

1737
01:09:27,323 --> 01:09:28,792
What the fuck?

1738
01:09:28,961 --> 01:09:30,330
Elle!

1739
01:09:31,260 --> 01:09:32,494
I'm sorry!

1740
01:09:32,663 --> 01:09:34,994
I thought
I was supposed to smoke it.

1741
01:09:35,770 --> 01:09:36,869
Oh, shit.

1742
01:09:37,038 --> 01:09:39,207
(WHIP CRACKS)
(GRUNTS)

1743
01:09:40,838 --> 01:09:43,169
Seriously? With the
<i>12 Years a Slave</i> shit?

1744
01:09:43,338 --> 01:09:46,247
GHOSTFACE: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I didn't see that movie, okay?

1745
01:09:46,449 --> 01:09:48,975
I just found this thing
in the shed. Jesus.

1746
01:09:55,351 --> 01:09:56,855
Come on, bro!

1747
01:09:57,024 --> 01:09:58,259
That's even worse.

1748
01:09:59,461 --> 01:10:01,688
GHOSTFACE: (GROANS)
I didn't mean it that way.

1749
01:10:01,856 --> 01:10:03,825
Some of my best victims
are Black.

1750
01:10:06,900 --> 01:10:10,063
(SCOFFS) And another brother
falls victim to gun violence.

1751
01:10:10,966 --> 01:10:13,236
Turns out
race is still an issue.

1752
01:10:13,438 --> 01:10:14,903
GHOSTFACE: That's not fair!

1753
01:10:15,105 --> 01:10:17,074
You know, Black guys usually
die first in horror movies.

1754
01:10:17,276 --> 01:10:19,478
(CAMERA CLICKS, WHIRS)

1755
01:10:20,511 --> 01:10:21,909
SHORTY:
<i> Damn!</i>

1756
01:10:22,111 --> 01:10:24,377
This give whole new meaning
to<i> Dead By Daylight.</i>

1757
01:10:24,546 --> 01:10:26,413
(GIGGLES) Yeah.

1758
01:10:26,616 --> 01:10:29,416
Oh. Get them, son. (GRUNTS)

1759
01:10:29,618 --> 01:10:31,888
Goofy ass out of here.

1760
01:10:32,057 --> 01:10:33,186
(GRUNTS)

1761
01:10:33,355 --> 01:10:34,520
(GIGGLES)

1762
01:10:34,689 --> 01:10:36,324
GHOSTFACE: Hello, Shorty.

1763
01:10:36,493 --> 01:10:38,656
Cuckoo! Get him, niggas!

1764
01:10:38,825 --> 01:10:40,191
(AIRHORN)
(CACKLES)

1765
01:10:40,359 --> 01:10:44,471
Got your silly ass!
You about to be high as fuck.

1766
01:10:44,673 --> 01:10:46,733
♪<i> Party</i> ♪
♪<i> Aw, yeah, aw, yeah</i> ♪

1767
01:10:46,935 --> 01:10:47,774
♪<i> Ain't nobody standing...</i> ♪

1768
01:10:47,942 --> 01:10:48,699
(COUGHS) Nigga!

1769
01:10:48,868 --> 01:10:53,212
(ECHOING) Ah, shit, son!

1770
01:10:53,381 --> 01:10:55,577
Bro, why you running
backwards, son?

1771
01:10:55,746 --> 01:10:57,247
GHOSTFACE: I don't know.
It's not me.

1772
01:10:57,416 --> 01:10:58,449
Something's wrong with this.

1773
01:10:58,618 --> 01:11:00,120
Nigga,
your remote is upside-down!

1774
01:11:00,289 --> 01:11:02,421
You're fucking high, son.
(GIGGLES)

1775
01:11:02,590 --> 01:11:03,955
GHOSTFACE: Game on, bitches!
SHORTY: Yeah.

1776
01:11:04,124 --> 01:11:05,293
(BOTH LAUGHING)

1777
01:11:05,926 --> 01:11:07,562
(SCREAMS)

1778
01:11:07,731 --> 01:11:08,593
(YELPS)

1779
01:11:09,426 --> 01:11:10,761
Oh!
Wrong nigga.

1780
01:11:10,929 --> 01:11:12,392
(SARA WHIMPERING)
GHOSTFACE: Black Lives Matter!

1781
01:11:12,560 --> 01:11:13,932
Not you, Shorty!

1782
01:11:14,101 --> 01:11:15,135
Oh, my-- I need you.

1783
01:11:15,337 --> 01:11:17,063
Whoa, what is going on?
Oh, Jack!

1784
01:11:17,231 --> 01:11:19,730
Oh, thank God you're here!
Where were you?

1785
01:11:19,899 --> 01:11:21,274
Ghostface was just here!

1786
01:11:21,443 --> 01:11:23,610
I was just outside
getting some fresh air.

1787
01:11:23,779 --> 01:11:24,774
Stop!

1788
01:11:25,740 --> 01:11:28,074
One of you is the killer.

1789
01:11:28,685 --> 01:11:29,713
Elle...

1790
01:11:30,715 --> 01:11:32,210
why do you have blood
on your hands?

1791
01:11:33,717 --> 01:11:36,086
(STAMMERS)
I found Brad outside.

1792
01:11:36,255 --> 01:11:37,550
She's the killer!

1793
01:11:37,719 --> 01:11:39,787
I am not the killer, okay?

1794
01:11:39,956 --> 01:11:42,696
I'm not even sex positive.
I'm a virgin.

1795
01:11:42,898 --> 01:11:44,265
(SCOFFS) No way.

1796
01:11:44,434 --> 01:11:45,698
You've banged, like,
every dude in Woodsville.

1797
01:11:45,900 --> 01:11:47,628
Fuck you!

1798
01:11:47,797 --> 01:11:49,299
Whoa! (PANTS)
(SCREAMS, GASPS)

1799
01:11:49,468 --> 01:11:52,169
The butt doesn't count.

1800
01:11:52,338 --> 01:11:54,039
Oh!
(SCREAMING)

1801
01:11:54,241 --> 01:11:55,206
Shit, she shot Ashton!

1802
01:11:55,409 --> 01:11:58,973
Welcome to Act Three, bitches.

1803
01:12:00,475 --> 01:12:01,349
What?

1804
01:12:02,480 --> 01:12:04,110
What does that even mean?

1805
01:12:05,088 --> 01:12:07,016
It's when the shit goes down.

1806
01:12:07,185 --> 01:12:08,486
Oh.

1807
01:12:08,655 --> 01:12:09,783
I still don't really know
what she means,

1808
01:12:09,951 --> 01:12:12,057
but I think we should run!
Run!

1809
01:12:12,259 --> 01:12:14,087
(PARTYGOERS SCREAMING)

1810
01:12:25,436 --> 01:12:26,473
(GIRL SCREAMS)

1811
01:12:27,909 --> 01:12:28,767
Cindy!

1812
01:12:28,936 --> 01:12:30,506
(TEENS SCREAMING)
Brenda.

1813
01:12:30,675 --> 01:12:32,310
Cindy, they in there shooting!

1814
01:12:32,479 --> 01:12:33,941
These kids are wild!
(GUNSHOTS)

1815
01:12:34,110 --> 01:12:35,779
(ALL SCREAMING)
I blame it on video games,

1816
01:12:35,947 --> 01:12:38,383
not the liquor
or lack of
parental supervision.

1817
01:12:38,585 --> 01:12:39,713
You're gonna need this.
Oh.

1818
01:12:39,915 --> 01:12:41,987
Do you have one bigger
in black?

1819
01:12:42,156 --> 01:12:43,820
Oh, wrong bag.

1820
01:12:44,861 --> 01:12:45,585
Here.
Ooh.

1821
01:12:45,787 --> 01:12:47,484
Who are you, Joan Wick?

1822
01:12:47,653 --> 01:12:50,189
I would've said<i> Ballerina,</i>
but nobody saw that shit.

1823
01:12:51,197 --> 01:12:52,063
Let's do this.

1824
01:12:52,231 --> 01:12:53,525
(SIGHING) Okay.

1825
01:12:53,694 --> 01:12:55,326
(ELLE WAILS)

1826
01:12:56,401 --> 01:12:58,536
Help! He stabbed me!

1827
01:12:58,705 --> 01:13:01,369
I'm definitely not faking it.
Please, help!

1828
01:13:01,538 --> 01:13:02,608
What do you think?

1829
01:13:03,543 --> 01:13:05,008
I think Drake lost to Kendrick.

1830
01:13:05,177 --> 01:13:08,180
I still like Drake, but
what was up with that lawsuit?

1831
01:13:08,349 --> 01:13:10,049
That's such a bitch-ass move.

1832
01:13:10,217 --> 01:13:12,450
About this situation.

1833
01:13:12,652 --> 01:13:14,278
Oh, that?
That's definitely a trap.

1834
01:13:14,480 --> 01:13:16,220
She don't know
we already been here,
done that.

1835
01:13:16,388 --> 01:13:17,418
(SQUELCH)
(GASPS)

1836
01:13:17,620 --> 01:13:19,486
Brenda!
(MOANS)

1837
01:13:19,655 --> 01:13:20,688
Brenda!
(GASPS)

1838
01:13:20,857 --> 01:13:23,255
Cindy! It hurts!
(GUNSHOTS)

1839
01:13:24,300 --> 01:13:26,593
Am I gonna make it?
I doubt it.

1840
01:13:26,795 --> 01:13:29,497
Oh, God, Cindy. Oh, God.

1841
01:13:29,666 --> 01:13:31,597
Bitch, I'm not dead yet!

1842
01:13:31,799 --> 01:13:33,933
Oh. My bad. I'm sorry.

1843
01:13:34,135 --> 01:13:37,877
Now you go back in there
and finish it.

1844
01:13:38,046 --> 01:13:39,103
For me, Cindy.

1845
01:13:39,305 --> 01:13:41,608
I would do anything for you,
Brenda.

1846
01:13:41,810 --> 01:13:42,945
(SIGHS)
(WHIMPERS)

1847
01:13:46,247 --> 01:13:49,049
(GIGGLES)
Oh, yes! She bought it.

1848
01:13:49,218 --> 01:13:51,818
That old ketchup trick,
it don't fail.

1849
01:13:52,020 --> 01:13:53,261
That bitch is crazy
if she thought

1850
01:13:53,430 --> 01:13:55,663
I was taking my Black ass
back in there.

1851
01:13:55,865 --> 01:13:56,728
(GRUNTS)

1852
01:13:59,398 --> 01:14:00,732
Attention all killers!

1853
01:14:01,768 --> 01:14:05,000
You have five seconds
to show yourselves.

1854
01:14:17,384 --> 01:14:18,147
(MAN YELPS)
Shorty!

1855
01:14:18,349 --> 01:14:19,778
Bitch!

1856
01:14:19,947 --> 01:14:21,979
You shot my favorite bong.

1857
01:14:22,181 --> 01:14:24,285
Go find your own damn closet!

1858
01:14:24,454 --> 01:14:25,592
Sorry.

1859
01:14:32,463 --> 01:14:34,730
(PHONE RINGS)

1860
01:14:34,899 --> 01:14:36,768
GHOSTFACE:
<i> Hello, Cindy.</i>

1861
01:14:37,566 --> 01:14:38,768
Hello.

1862
01:14:38,937 --> 01:14:40,132
GHOSTFACE:
<i> Looks like you forgot</i>

1863
01:14:40,301 --> 01:14:42,834
<i>the first rule</i>
<i>of surviving a horror movie.</i>

1864
01:14:43,037 --> 01:14:45,569
<i> Never answer the phone!</i>

1865
01:14:46,872 --> 01:14:50,144
I thought the first rule was
never trust the love interest.

1866
01:14:51,484 --> 01:14:52,849
GHOSTFACE: Oh, really?

1867
01:14:53,018 --> 01:14:55,017
Well, I'm changing the rules.
How about that?

1868
01:14:55,852 --> 01:14:59,059
New rule: Go fuck yourself.

1869
01:14:59,261 --> 01:15:00,192
GHOSTFACE: Wait, wait!

1870
01:15:00,360 --> 01:15:01,693
(HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM)

1871
01:15:01,862 --> 01:15:04,229
(PAINED WHINE) Why do you
hate closets so much?

1872
01:15:04,432 --> 01:15:05,893
I told you to come out.

1873
01:15:06,095 --> 01:15:07,968
Yeah, well,
I didn't want to get shot!

1874
01:15:08,137 --> 01:15:09,637
Ironic, isn't it?

1875
01:15:10,640 --> 01:15:12,633
GHOSTFACE:
You missed me, bitch. (GRUNTS)

1876
01:15:12,802 --> 01:15:14,503
Oh, God, it's Ghostface!

1877
01:15:14,672 --> 01:15:15,633
Didn't sound believable.

1878
01:15:15,802 --> 01:15:16,676
(GRUNTS)

1879
01:15:17,645 --> 01:15:18,707
GHOSTFACE:
You think you're John Wick,

1880
01:15:18,876 --> 01:15:20,145
acting like I killed your dog?

1881
01:15:20,314 --> 01:15:22,715
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1882
01:15:24,186 --> 01:15:25,350
(GHOSTFACE GRUNTS)

1883
01:15:25,519 --> 01:15:27,319
The dog is just a metaphor.

1884
01:15:27,488 --> 01:15:29,215
It was about losing his wife!

1885
01:15:29,417 --> 01:15:31,317
GHOSTFACE: You sure it's not
an allegory? (GROANS)

1886
01:15:42,368 --> 01:15:43,664
Let us begin.

1887
01:15:43,832 --> 01:15:45,672
(YELLS)
(GRUNTING)

1888
01:15:47,837 --> 01:15:48,702
(YELLS)
(GRUNTS)

1889
01:15:48,870 --> 01:15:51,238
(CINDY YELLS, GRUNTS)

1890
01:15:52,909 --> 01:15:54,274
(CASING CLINKS)
Oh.

1891
01:15:54,975 --> 01:15:57,013
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1892
01:16:01,487 --> 01:16:02,590
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1893
01:16:04,756 --> 01:16:06,957
Oh, that stunt girl is good.

1894
01:16:10,089 --> 01:16:11,764
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1895
01:16:13,501 --> 01:16:15,295
(GHOSTFACE GRUNTS)
(CLICKING)

1896
01:16:19,901 --> 01:16:21,939
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1897
01:16:23,903 --> 01:16:24,704
Whoa.

1898
01:16:24,873 --> 01:16:26,779
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1899
01:16:28,150 --> 01:16:29,348
(CINDY GRUNTING)

1900
01:16:29,517 --> 01:16:31,443
GHOSTFACE: Oh, oh-- (GRUNTS)

1901
01:16:32,516 --> 01:16:33,582
(GRUNTS)

1902
01:16:33,750 --> 01:16:35,618
(GASPING, SHUDDERING)

1903
01:16:35,820 --> 01:16:37,416
(GRUNTS, SIGHS)
(POP)

1904
01:16:38,821 --> 01:16:39,620
(CINDY GRUNTS)

1905
01:16:39,822 --> 01:16:41,929
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1906
01:16:42,098 --> 01:16:42,964
(CINDY YELLS)

1907
01:16:43,166 --> 01:16:44,093
(GHOSTFACE GRUNTS)

1908
01:16:45,025 --> 01:16:46,934
(GHOSTFACE CHOKING)

1909
01:16:47,103 --> 01:16:48,427
Eat a dick.

1910
01:16:49,501 --> 01:16:50,964
(SIGHS)

1911
01:16:51,166 --> 01:16:52,633
(SIGHS)
(GHOSTFACE GRUNTS)

1912
01:16:52,835 --> 01:16:54,765
(GHOSTFACE GROANING)

1913
01:16:54,934 --> 01:16:56,571
(PANTING)

1914
01:16:56,740 --> 01:16:58,772
(SARA GASPS, PANTS)

1915
01:16:58,941 --> 01:17:00,939
Shoot him, Sara. End this.

1916
01:17:01,108 --> 01:17:02,776
Don't tell me what to do!

1917
01:17:02,945 --> 01:17:04,451
This isn't the best time

1918
01:17:04,620 --> 01:17:06,744
to resolve our
mommy-daughter issues,

1919
01:17:06,913 --> 01:17:11,285
but Sara, I am so sorry.
I have been a terrible mother.

1920
01:17:11,453 --> 01:17:13,785
I don't even know
your sister Wednesday--

1921
01:17:13,954 --> 01:17:15,154
Oh, Tuesday.

1922
01:17:15,323 --> 01:17:18,288
Have to clarify that
for legal reasons.

1923
01:17:18,457 --> 01:17:19,700
But I've prepared you for this.

1924
01:17:20,467 --> 01:17:21,861
So go on, baby.

1925
01:17:22,064 --> 01:17:23,665
You kill him.
(EXHALES)

1926
01:17:23,833 --> 01:17:25,139
JACK: Sara?
Jack!

1927
01:17:25,307 --> 01:17:26,603
Sara!
SARA: Jack!

1928
01:17:26,772 --> 01:17:28,142
JACK: Sara!
SARA: Oh, Jack!

1929
01:17:28,310 --> 01:17:29,275
JACK: Sara!
Jack!

1930
01:17:29,443 --> 01:17:30,276
Sara!
SARA: Jack!

1931
01:17:30,444 --> 01:17:31,343
Sara!
SARA: Jack!

1932
01:17:31,546 --> 01:17:32,411
JACK: Thank God you're okay.

1933
01:17:32,580 --> 01:17:33,512
Because I really wanted to be

1934
01:17:33,714 --> 01:17:34,612
the one to kill you!
(SCREAMS)

1935
01:17:34,781 --> 01:17:36,248
(GASPS)
Ooh, take it, baby.

1936
01:17:36,417 --> 01:17:37,584
(SARA GROANING)

1937
01:17:37,753 --> 01:17:40,285
(GASPS) See,
I told you it was about me.

1938
01:17:40,454 --> 01:17:42,184
ELLE: No, Sara.

1939
01:17:43,624 --> 01:17:45,187
You were just the bait.

1940
01:17:45,788 --> 01:17:47,123
It's about her.

1941
01:17:47,791 --> 01:17:48,825
Fuck!
CINDY: Aw.

1942
01:17:48,993 --> 01:17:51,256
Sorry, honey.
I hate being right.

1943
01:17:51,425 --> 01:17:53,366
JACK: You should've
listened to Doofy.

1944
01:17:53,569 --> 01:17:55,636
(WHISPERING)
The love interest.

1945
01:17:55,805 --> 01:17:58,065
It just seemed too obvious,
you know?

1946
01:17:58,268 --> 01:18:00,734
Which makes you think
it is not obvious.

1947
01:18:00,936 --> 01:18:01,669
Same page, honeybunch.

1948
01:18:01,838 --> 01:18:02,804
Right.
(MOCKING)

1949
01:18:02,973 --> 01:18:04,574
Yeah, well, that's the twist!

1950
01:18:04,777 --> 01:18:06,070
Now get in the kitchen. Go!

1951
01:18:06,272 --> 01:18:07,578
Hey! (GRUNTS)
Move!

1952
01:18:07,780 --> 01:18:10,078
Okay, listen up!
(SARA GASPS)

1953
01:18:10,281 --> 01:18:13,351
See, there hasn't been
a great<i> Horror Movie</i>

1954
01:18:13,520 --> 01:18:15,220
since the first one.

1955
01:18:15,389 --> 01:18:18,586
We're gonna save the franchise.
Go get our special guest star.

1956
01:18:18,788 --> 01:18:20,024
(GIGGLES SOFTLY)

1957
01:18:20,727 --> 01:18:23,256
Hollywood is out of ideas!

1958
01:18:23,458 --> 01:18:25,922
Why else would there be
a<i> Scary Movie 6?</i>

1959
01:18:26,125 --> 01:18:28,525
But it wouldn't work with just
the new characters, would it?

1960
01:18:28,694 --> 01:18:31,162
We need the legacy characters.
Oh--

1961
01:18:31,331 --> 01:18:32,903
And there wouldn't be a Cindy

1962
01:18:33,105 --> 01:18:36,636
without her
sassy Black sidekick, Brenda.

1963
01:18:36,805 --> 01:18:39,906
You ain't have to say "Black"
with no hard "b" like that.

1964
01:18:40,109 --> 01:18:42,475
Brenda! Didn't you get shot?

1965
01:18:43,284 --> 01:18:44,708
Did I?

1966
01:18:44,877 --> 01:18:48,518
Oh! Wait, I did!
Ooh, look, God done healed me!

1967
01:18:48,686 --> 01:18:50,214
Ooh, what He do?

1968
01:18:50,383 --> 01:18:51,591
Stop dancing!
All the time!

1969
01:18:51,793 --> 01:18:53,093
Stop dancing!
Everybody stop dancing!

1970
01:18:53,295 --> 01:18:54,185
All the time!

1971
01:18:54,354 --> 01:18:55,360
Oh! (GASP)
(KNIFE WITHDRAWS)

1972
01:18:55,528 --> 01:18:57,926
Oh.
Mom! No!

1973
01:18:58,095 --> 01:19:00,427
(PANTING) You called me "Mom".

1974
01:19:01,700 --> 01:19:03,230
You care about me.

1975
01:19:03,399 --> 01:19:05,534
Well, I wouldn't go that far,
but, I mean,

1976
01:19:05,703 --> 01:19:06,437
sure.
Go--

1977
01:19:06,605 --> 01:19:07,536
Go get Tuesday.

1978
01:19:07,705 --> 01:19:09,202
Okay, ladies,

1979
01:19:09,371 --> 01:19:11,468
(SING-SONGY)
time to stage the bodies.

1980
01:19:11,670 --> 01:19:13,943
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Oh!

1981
01:19:14,112 --> 01:19:15,876
(CINDY GASPS)
Please don't do this!

1982
01:19:16,045 --> 01:19:17,376
What? Who are you people?

1983
01:19:17,545 --> 01:19:18,651
GHOSTFACE:
We're the motherfuckers

1984
01:19:18,853 --> 01:19:21,221
that are taking over
this franchise.

1985
01:19:21,390 --> 01:19:22,288
Oh, yeah? You are?

1986
01:19:22,457 --> 01:19:24,550
Okay! Oh, my God.

1987
01:19:24,719 --> 01:19:27,086
That was not part of the plan.
(WOMEN GASPING)

1988
01:19:27,255 --> 01:19:29,386
(GROANING)
Oh, God. Shit.

1989
01:19:29,555 --> 01:19:31,593
Oh.
GHOSTFACE: Neither was this.

1990
01:19:31,762 --> 01:19:33,090
(WOMEN GASP)

1991
01:19:33,259 --> 01:19:34,961
(PLOP, BURBLE)

1992
01:19:35,164 --> 01:19:36,468
Wait, Ray got one of those!

1993
01:19:36,671 --> 01:19:38,868
Whoa! Hot damn!
(THUDS)

1994
01:19:39,037 --> 01:19:42,240
(LAUGHING)
Anthony Anderson!

1995
01:19:42,409 --> 01:19:43,710
Yeah.

1996
01:19:43,879 --> 01:19:46,277
And I brought my boy
Kevin Hart with me.

1997
01:19:46,446 --> 01:19:47,980
(GASPS)

1998
01:19:53,520 --> 01:19:55,152
What?
Shaq?

1999
01:19:55,354 --> 01:19:57,950
That's right. On my knees
I'm the same height as Kevin.

2000
01:19:58,119 --> 01:19:59,316
And Kevin said no.

2001
01:19:59,518 --> 01:20:00,828
ANTHONY:
Kevin Hart said no?

2002
01:20:00,997 --> 01:20:02,690
That little motherfucker
says yes to everything.

2003
01:20:02,892 --> 01:20:03,793
Yeah, he does.

2004
01:20:03,962 --> 01:20:05,357
But wait!
(METALLIC SCRAPE)

2005
01:20:05,560 --> 01:20:07,925
GHOSTFACE: There's more.
(MUFFLED GIGGLE)

2006
01:20:08,094 --> 01:20:10,037
Ta-dah...

2007
01:20:10,239 --> 01:20:11,303
bitches!

2008
01:20:11,472 --> 01:20:12,998
Ray? Shorty?

2009
01:20:13,167 --> 01:20:14,771
Yeah, that's right.

2010
01:20:14,940 --> 01:20:17,973
Four Black killers.
Yeah.

2011
01:20:18,142 --> 01:20:19,339
We're making history.
(LAUGHS)

2012
01:20:19,508 --> 01:20:22,509
This a new definition
of Black excellence.

2013
01:20:23,310 --> 01:20:24,711
But why would you do this?

2014
01:20:24,914 --> 01:20:26,381
Question is:

2015
01:20:26,583 --> 01:20:28,352
Why would you try to make
a sequel without us, huh?

2016
01:20:28,521 --> 01:20:29,856
Yeah!

2017
01:20:30,025 --> 01:20:31,685
When the studio wanted
to replace these brothers,

2018
01:20:31,888 --> 01:20:33,824
I was there.

2019
01:20:33,993 --> 01:20:35,823
That's facts.
What about me?

2020
01:20:35,991 --> 01:20:36,826
What about you?

2021
01:20:36,995 --> 01:20:38,023
CINDY: You were in one scene

2022
01:20:38,225 --> 01:20:39,831
in<i> Part 4.</i>
Oh!

2023
01:20:39,999 --> 01:20:40,829
Yes, but I made
that motherfucker

2024
01:20:40,998 --> 01:20:42,430
Dr. Phil cut his foot off.

2025
01:20:42,598 --> 01:20:44,271
And he crazy now.
SHORTY: Yeah, he got weird.

2026
01:20:44,440 --> 01:20:45,463
Mm.
But you--

2027
01:20:45,631 --> 01:20:46,972
Y-You see
what they trying to do?

2028
01:20:47,141 --> 01:20:48,865
They trying to pit us all up
against each other.

2029
01:20:49,067 --> 01:20:51,610
They trying to start Black
on-- on very Black crime.

2030
01:20:51,779 --> 01:20:52,976
ANTHONY: Oh.
That's right!

2031
01:20:53,145 --> 01:20:55,806
Yo, Shaq.
Hey. I'm proud of you, bro.

2032
01:20:55,975 --> 01:20:58,345
You've had an amazing career
as a sports commentator

2033
01:20:58,514 --> 01:21:00,185
since retiring
from basketball.
Mm-hmm.

2034
01:21:00,354 --> 01:21:03,881
And I love<i> The Big Podcast.</i>
Nigga, I love that shit!

2035
01:21:04,050 --> 01:21:06,055
Even though I don't understand
a word you be saying.

2036
01:21:06,224 --> 01:21:07,219
You be on that show
talkin' 'bout--

2037
01:21:07,388 --> 01:21:09,394
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH
AS SHAQ)

2038
01:21:09,563 --> 01:21:10,857
(RAY CHUCKLES)

2039
01:21:11,026 --> 01:21:11,758
"Kobe."

2040
01:21:11,960 --> 01:21:13,162
Enough.

2041
01:21:13,331 --> 01:21:16,871
But my point is, nigga,
I love your shit.

2042
01:21:17,805 --> 01:21:19,903
But I never got over<i> Kazaam.</i>

2043
01:21:20,072 --> 01:21:21,340
Fuck all that shit!
(GASPING)

2044
01:21:21,509 --> 01:21:22,900
Kick his ass!

2045
01:21:23,068 --> 01:21:25,538
Get your big ass over here!
I hated that movie, too!

2046
01:21:25,707 --> 01:21:26,944
Why did you leave the Lakers?
(RAPID STABBING)

2047
01:21:27,146 --> 01:21:29,779
You and Kobe
would've had nine rings!

2048
01:21:29,982 --> 01:21:31,284
That motherfucker traded me!

2049
01:21:31,486 --> 01:21:32,586
Sha-kweel!

2050
01:21:32,755 --> 01:21:35,253
How big is your foot?
(STABBING)

2051
01:21:35,455 --> 01:21:36,515
22.

2052
01:21:36,684 --> 01:21:39,054
Then how big is your dick?
(STABBING)

2053
01:21:39,223 --> 01:21:40,351
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Ray!
(STABBING)

2054
01:21:40,520 --> 01:21:41,929
Pause.
SHORTY: What the fuck

2055
01:21:42,131 --> 01:21:43,494
you talking about?
I'm doing it for the culture.

2056
01:21:43,663 --> 01:21:45,029
What culture?

2057
01:21:45,198 --> 01:21:47,062
The Culture Club. Nigga!
ANTHONY: Bro.

2058
01:21:47,231 --> 01:21:48,328
Come on, Ray,
we killing people.

2059
01:21:48,497 --> 01:21:49,393
Stay focused.
All right, all right.

2060
01:21:49,562 --> 01:21:51,434
All right. We back.
(YELPS)

2061
01:21:51,636 --> 01:21:54,441
Hey, Ant, don't, don't you--
don't you worry. We family.

2062
01:21:54,643 --> 01:21:56,537
Ant, mad respect, y'all.

2063
01:21:56,705 --> 01:21:58,675
(WHIMPERS)
Hey,<i> Black-ish</i> nominated

2064
01:21:58,843 --> 01:21:59,776
for eight Emmys!

2065
01:21:59,979 --> 01:22:01,074
My nigga!
(WINCES)

2066
01:22:01,243 --> 01:22:02,375
(STAMMERS) Well, actually,

2067
01:22:02,544 --> 01:22:04,110
the show was only nominated
for five.

2068
01:22:04,312 --> 01:22:05,977
I was nominated for eight.

2069
01:22:06,180 --> 01:22:07,115
Ooh.
Wow.

2070
01:22:07,284 --> 01:22:08,081
Oh, thank you.
(WOMEN CLAPPING)

2071
01:22:08,250 --> 01:22:09,249
(GIGGLES)
A thespian!

2072
01:22:09,418 --> 01:22:11,954
Is that so? Eight nominations.

2073
01:22:12,123 --> 01:22:14,119
Crazy! (CHUCKLING)
Yeah, man.

2074
01:22:14,288 --> 01:22:15,424
(LAUGHTER DIES DOWN)

2075
01:22:16,226 --> 01:22:18,256
But you never won.
What?

2076
01:22:18,424 --> 01:22:19,828
(WINCES)
(GASPING)

2077
01:22:20,030 --> 01:22:21,263
<i> Et tu, Brute?</i>

2078
01:22:21,432 --> 01:22:23,134
Don't speak Spanish to me,
motherfucker.

2079
01:22:23,369 --> 01:22:26,268
This is for doing
<i> Scary Movie 3</i> and<i> 4!</i>

2080
01:22:26,437 --> 01:22:28,475
I didn't know
they fired the family!

2081
01:22:28,644 --> 01:22:30,273
And this is for copying

2082
01:22:30,442 --> 01:22:33,239
our<i> Good Times</i> episode
on<i> Black-ish!</i>

2083
01:22:33,408 --> 01:22:35,913
But you guys were on The WB!

2084
01:22:36,082 --> 01:22:38,542
(WHIMPERS)
Nobody saw that shit!

2085
01:22:38,711 --> 01:22:40,311
(THUDS)
(BOTH PANTING)

2086
01:22:40,514 --> 01:22:42,048
SHORTY: Ooh.
No, no, no.

2087
01:22:42,217 --> 01:22:44,157
And you, and you--

2088
01:22:44,360 --> 01:22:47,259
Y'all went and did
<i>Scary Movie 3</i> and<i> 4</i> without us!

2089
01:22:47,427 --> 01:22:49,956
Nigga, I'm sorry.
They offered me so much money!

2090
01:22:50,125 --> 01:22:53,728
I-I got a new house, a new car.
I got wigs that don't itch.

2091
01:22:53,897 --> 01:22:54,764
(SNIFFLES)

2092
01:22:54,933 --> 01:22:56,234
And what about you?

2093
01:22:57,301 --> 01:22:59,398
Well, I had a chance
to work with

2094
01:22:59,567 --> 01:23:01,899
the incomparable Charlie Sheen.

2095
01:23:03,570 --> 01:23:05,171
That's good. He's a legend.

2096
01:23:05,373 --> 01:23:07,506
And his dick game's crazy.

2097
01:23:07,675 --> 01:23:09,706
You know he slept with
47,000 women?

2098
01:23:09,909 --> 01:23:11,946
And a thousand of them women
were dudes.

2099
01:23:12,115 --> 01:23:13,812
(SCOFFS) Lucky guy.

2100
01:23:14,780 --> 01:23:17,149
Wait,
so y'all gonna kill us now?

2101
01:23:17,318 --> 01:23:18,682
(SHORTY WHIMPERS)

2102
01:23:18,850 --> 01:23:20,622
Nah. (CHUCKLES)
(EXHALES)

2103
01:23:20,791 --> 01:23:23,392
What would<i> Halloween</i> be
without Jamie Lee Curtis?

2104
01:23:23,594 --> 01:23:25,229
Or<i> Scream</i> be
without Neve Campbell?

2105
01:23:25,431 --> 01:23:26,800
(BRENDA GASPS)
That would be<i> Scream VI.</i>

2106
01:23:26,969 --> 01:23:29,400
How did you guys
pull all of this off?

2107
01:23:29,603 --> 01:23:30,827
Cindy!

2108
01:23:30,996 --> 01:23:33,739
You know how many Wayanses
there are?

2109
01:23:33,941 --> 01:23:35,868
Nigga, billions!
Billions!

2110
01:23:36,037 --> 01:23:39,376
I'm just so happy that
the old gang is back together.

2111
01:23:40,146 --> 01:23:41,941
Okay, in the middle, on three:

2112
01:23:42,110 --> 01:23:43,342
Core Four.

2113
01:23:43,511 --> 01:23:45,148
What?
Nah, nah. We-- That--

2114
01:23:45,317 --> 01:23:46,520
That-- That's corny shit.
That's wack.

2115
01:23:46,689 --> 01:23:48,054
Ooh, uh, w-what about--

2116
01:23:48,256 --> 01:23:50,722
What about,
The Young and The Restless?

2117
01:23:50,924 --> 01:23:52,792
Yeah, or The-- or The Old

2118
01:23:52,961 --> 01:23:54,124
and then The Beautiful.
(LAUGHS)

2119
01:23:54,293 --> 01:23:56,192
Or-- or The--
The Cute and The Crusty.

2120
01:23:56,361 --> 01:23:59,059
Yeah, or The Sexy
and then The Senile.

2121
01:23:59,261 --> 01:24:01,497
(BOTH LAUGHING)

2122
01:24:02,463 --> 01:24:05,171
(BOTH CRYING, WHIMPERING)

2123
01:24:05,339 --> 01:24:07,232
But we were brought in
to take over the franchise!

2124
01:24:07,434 --> 01:24:08,468
That's right. I mean,

2125
01:24:08,636 --> 01:24:10,708
you guys are, like,
70 years old!

2126
01:24:10,876 --> 01:24:12,444
Not in my mouth!

2127
01:24:12,646 --> 01:24:13,613
Aw, fuck!

2128
01:24:13,815 --> 01:24:14,938
(TUESDAY AND SARA SOBBING)

2129
01:24:15,140 --> 01:24:17,346
I just dragged that one
from the subway.

2130
01:24:17,515 --> 01:24:19,710
Oh, my back hurts. (GROANS)
(BONES POP)

2131
01:24:19,878 --> 01:24:22,614
Guys, guys!
They're already dead.

2132
01:24:22,816 --> 01:24:25,053
Nah! Little fuckers
always come back.

2133
01:24:25,221 --> 01:24:26,960
Oh, no. Not this time.

2134
01:24:27,163 --> 01:24:29,389
Exactly. Come on,
Ray, let's go.
Let's go.

2135
01:24:29,558 --> 01:24:30,964
Who got a match?
(GIRLS YELLING)

2136
01:24:31,166 --> 01:24:35,228
Got one, got one!
Next generation, my ass!

2137
01:24:35,397 --> 01:24:36,800
Yeah, whoo!
(WHOOPS)

2138
01:24:37,002 --> 01:24:39,065
(ALL SCREAMING)

2139
01:24:39,234 --> 01:24:41,036
(BOTH YELLING)

2140
01:24:41,205 --> 01:24:42,267
Sara, tell me what do to.

2141
01:24:42,469 --> 01:24:44,441
Blow, bitch, blow!

2142
01:24:49,474 --> 01:24:52,285
(LAUGHTER)

2143
01:24:52,488 --> 01:24:53,516
Yeah.

2144
01:24:55,686 --> 01:24:57,954
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Should we feel bad?

2145
01:24:58,157 --> 01:24:59,549
I mean, those are our kids.

2146
01:24:59,718 --> 01:25:01,355
Fuck those kids!
Yeah!

2147
01:25:01,524 --> 01:25:03,458
This is our franchise.
Yeah!

2148
01:25:03,661 --> 01:25:06,260
Besides, we can do all these
dramatic walkaways

2149
01:25:06,429 --> 01:25:07,732
with the fire in back of us.

2150
01:25:07,901 --> 01:25:09,561
But, damn, it's hot.

2151
01:25:09,730 --> 01:25:12,370
I don't know.
I kind of like it.

2152
01:25:13,306 --> 01:25:14,974
You do, Ray?
We should play firemen.

2153
01:25:15,142 --> 01:25:17,109
You wanna dress up
like a fireman?

2154
01:25:17,278 --> 01:25:19,011
No. I want you to dress up
like a fireman.

2155
01:25:19,213 --> 01:25:21,540
(BRENDA GIGGLES)
Y'all feel a draft?

2156
01:25:21,742 --> 01:25:23,443
("BIGGER THAN EVER (WE BACK)"
BY CHRIS PATRICK PLAYS)
♪<i> Bigger than ever</i> ♪

2157
01:25:23,645 --> 01:25:24,410
<i> ♪ We back</i>
<i> Woo</i> ♪

2158
01:25:24,612 --> 01:25:26,183
♪<i> Okay, okay</i> ♪

2159
01:25:26,385 --> 01:25:27,611
♪<i> We back</i>
<i> We back</i> ♪

2160
01:25:27,813 --> 01:25:29,055
♪<i> Okay, okay</i> ♪

2161
01:25:29,257 --> 01:25:30,618
♪<i> Bigger than ever</i>
<i> We back</i> ♪

2162
01:25:30,820 --> 01:25:32,291
♪<i> Wait on it</i>
<i> Put in pain for it</i> ♪

2163
01:25:32,493 --> 01:25:34,027
♪<i> Every day</i>
<i> A day to train for it</i> ♪

2164
01:25:34,229 --> 01:25:35,787
♪<i> We on a whole 'nother level</i> ♪

2165
01:25:35,989 --> 01:25:37,296
♪<i> Bigger than ever</i>
<i> We back</i> ♪

2166
01:25:39,427 --> 01:25:40,758
♪<i> Uh-huh</i> ♪

2167
01:25:40,960 --> 01:25:42,467
♪<i> We back</i>
<i> We back</i> ♪

2168
01:25:42,669 --> 01:25:44,204
♪<i> Back like respawn</i> ♪
♪<i> Respawn</i> ♪

2169
01:25:44,406 --> 01:25:45,865
♪<i> Back like</i>
<i> Reversin' out the whip</i> ♪

2170
01:25:46,067 --> 01:25:47,671
♪<i> Forward drive</i> ♪
♪<i> Drive</i> ♪

2171
01:25:47,873 --> 01:25:49,072
♪<i> Back like I'm Marty</i> ♪
♪<i> Marty</i> ♪

2172
01:25:49,274 --> 01:25:50,338
♪<i> Back like McFly</i> ♪

2173
01:25:50,540 --> 01:25:52,035
♪<i> Double back for dinero</i> ♪

2174
01:25:52,237 --> 01:25:53,780
♪<i> 'Cause it's back</i>
<i> Like I slide</i> ♪

2175
01:25:53,982 --> 01:25:55,411
♪<i> We outside</i> ♪

2176
01:25:55,613 --> 01:25:57,675
♪<i> We ain't never really left</i> ♪

2177
01:25:57,877 --> 01:25:58,919
♪<i> Write ambidextrous</i> ♪

2178
01:25:59,121 --> 01:26:00,579
♪<i> Both hands need a check</i> ♪

2179
01:26:00,781 --> 01:26:02,384
♪<i> Whole fam need respect</i> ♪

2180
01:26:02,586 --> 01:26:04,423
♪<i> More bands, nothing less</i> ♪

2181
01:26:04,625 --> 01:26:07,689
♪<i> Tax season 'cause I got</i>
<i>The plan to collect</i> ♪

2182
01:26:09,325 --> 01:26:10,691
♪<i> Uh</i> ♪

2183
01:26:10,893 --> 01:26:12,098
♪<i> Look at me now</i> ♪
♪<i> Now</i> ♪

2184
01:26:12,300 --> 01:26:13,829
♪<i> We on a whole 'nother level</i> ♪

2185
01:26:14,032 --> 01:26:15,833
♪<i> My foot on the pedal</i>
<i> My eyes on the crown</i> ♪

2186
01:26:16,035 --> 01:26:17,401
♪<i> Uh</i> ♪

2187
01:26:17,603 --> 01:26:18,797
♪<i> Look at me now</i> ♪
♪<i> Now</i> ♪

2188
01:26:18,999 --> 01:26:20,403
♪<i> We on a whole 'nother level</i> ♪

2189
01:26:20,605 --> 01:26:21,835
♪<i> Bigger than ever</i>
<i> We back</i> ♪

2190
01:26:22,835 --> 01:26:24,436
♪<i> Okay, okay</i> ♪

2191
01:26:24,638 --> 01:26:26,137
♪<i> We back</i> ♪

2192
01:26:26,339 --> 01:26:27,912
♪<i> Okay, okay</i> ♪
♪<i> Bigger than ever</i> ♪

2193
01:26:28,114 --> 01:26:29,413
♪<i> We back</i> ♪

2194
01:26:29,615 --> 01:26:30,976
♪<i> Wait on it</i>
<i> Put in pain for it</i> ♪

2195
01:26:31,178 --> 01:26:32,415
♪<i> Every day</i>
<i> A day to train for it</i> ♪

2196
01:26:32,617 --> 01:26:34,010
♪<i> We on a whole 'nother level</i> ♪

2197
01:26:34,212 --> 01:26:35,684
♪<i> Bigger than ever</i>
<i> We back</i> ♪

2198
01:26:36,825 --> 01:26:37,923
♪<i> Mm</i> ♪

2199
01:26:38,125 --> 01:26:39,752
♪<i> Look at me now</i> ♪

2200
01:26:39,954 --> 01:26:41,421
♪<i> We on a whole 'nother level</i> ♪

2201
01:26:41,623 --> 01:26:42,863
♪<i> Look at me now</i> ♪

2202
01:26:43,065 --> 01:26:44,458
♪<i> My foot on the pedal</i> ♪

2203
01:26:44,660 --> 01:26:46,495
♪<i> My eyes on the crown</i> ♪

2204
01:26:46,697 --> 01:26:48,131
♪<i> We on a whole 'nother level</i> ♪

2205
01:26:48,333 --> 01:26:49,463
♪<i> Look at me now</i> ♪

2206
01:26:49,665 --> 01:26:51,267
♪<i> Whoo, look at me now</i> ♪

2207
01:26:51,469 --> 01:26:52,930
♪<i> Whoo, look at me now</i> ♪

2208
01:26:53,132 --> 01:26:54,505
♪<i> We on a whole 'nother level</i> ♪

2209
01:26:58,303 --> 01:27:00,506
♪<i> Bigger than ever</i>
<i> We back, whoo</i> ♪

2210
01:27:00,708 --> 01:27:02,276
♪<i> Okay, okay</i> ♪

2211
01:27:02,478 --> 01:27:03,916
♪<i> We back</i> ♪

2212
01:27:04,118 --> 01:27:05,316
♪<i> Okay, okay</i> ♪

2213
01:27:05,518 --> 01:27:06,813
♪<i> Bigger than ever</i>
<i> We back</i> ♪

2214
01:27:07,015 --> 01:27:08,420
♪<i> Wait on it</i>
<i> Put in pain for it</i> ♪

2215
01:27:08,622 --> 01:27:10,156
♪<i> Every day</i>
<i> A day to train for it</i> ♪

2216
01:27:10,358 --> 01:27:11,652
♪<i> We on a whole 'nother level</i> ♪

2217
01:27:11,854 --> 01:27:13,585
♪<i> Bigger than ever</i>
<i> We back</i> ♪

2218
01:27:13,787 --> 01:27:15,960
♪<i> Hey, hey, hey</i> ♪

2219
01:27:16,162 --> 01:27:16,995
♪<i> We back</i> ♪

2220
01:27:17,197 --> 01:27:19,326
♪<i> Hey, hey, hey</i> ♪

2221
01:27:19,528 --> 01:27:20,361
♪<i> We back</i> ♪

2222
01:27:20,563 --> 01:27:22,626
♪<i> Hey, hey, hey</i> ♪

2223
01:27:22,828 --> 01:27:24,027
♪<i> We back</i> ♪

2224
01:27:24,229 --> 01:27:25,633
♪<i> We on a whole 'nother level</i> ♪

2225
01:27:25,835 --> 01:27:27,098
♪<i> Bigger than ever</i>
<i> We back</i> ♪

2226
01:27:35,044 --> 01:27:37,276
NARRATOR:<i> Coming soon</i>
<i> to a theater near you...</i>

2227
01:27:37,445 --> 01:27:39,114
Come to me...

2228
01:27:39,283 --> 01:27:40,584
Count Brolock.

2229
01:27:41,686 --> 01:27:43,047
<i> From the studio</i>
<i> that brought you</i>

2230
01:27:43,216 --> 01:27:45,919
<i> every Black version</i>
<i> of a white movie...</i>

2231
01:27:48,428 --> 01:27:52,065
<i>I am but an appetite,</i>
<i>nothing more.</i>

2232
01:27:52,233 --> 01:27:54,297
That's not what you said
last night

2233
01:27:54,499 --> 01:27:56,030
when you were
sucking on my chest.

2234
01:27:56,199 --> 01:27:57,634
(SHUSHES)

2235
01:27:58,435 --> 01:27:59,862
The sisters may hear you.

2236
01:28:00,031 --> 01:28:01,698
Too late.
(GASPS, SPUTTERS)

2237
01:28:01,866 --> 01:28:02,932
You trifling sellout.

2238
01:28:03,101 --> 01:28:04,641
BROLOCK:
I don't know this bitch!

2239
01:28:04,843 --> 01:28:06,243
She's trying to get me!
This is entrapment!

2240
01:28:06,412 --> 01:28:08,609
Negro ain't shit.
ALL: Mm-hmm.

2241
01:28:08,778 --> 01:28:11,450
NARRATOR:
<i>Behold the Black vampire.</i>

2242
01:28:12,117 --> 01:28:13,980
<i> Brosferatu.</i>

2243
01:28:15,056 --> 01:28:16,983
Coming this<i> Kwanzaa.</i>

2244
01:28:18,189 --> 01:28:19,359
(CROW CAWS)

2245
01:29:31,229 --> 01:29:35,001
Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

2246
01:29:35,170 --> 01:29:39,165
Happy Birthday, A.S. Berger.

2247
01:29:39,334 --> 01:29:41,667
Something isn't right here.
SHORTHAND: Happy birthday...

2248
01:29:41,836 --> 01:29:43,509
He's definitely Ghostface.

2249
01:29:44,207 --> 01:29:45,104
Sit.

2250
01:29:46,211 --> 01:29:47,746
I agree, Berger.

2251
01:29:47,915 --> 01:29:50,039
That hand should spend
the rest of its life in prison.

2252
01:29:50,208 --> 01:29:52,113
That little hand, man. I mean--

2253
01:29:52,316 --> 01:29:55,813
Respectfully, that thing would
probably give a nice handjob.

2254
01:29:55,982 --> 01:29:58,153
Off the chain, guaranteed.

2255
01:29:58,322 --> 01:29:59,390
Tight grip.

2256
01:29:59,559 --> 01:30:00,717
Make your meat
look two times bigger.

2257
01:30:00,885 --> 01:30:01,985
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.

2258
01:30:02,154 --> 01:30:03,395
I don't want
a handjob from him.

2259
01:30:03,564 --> 01:30:04,824
Let me tell you that,
first and foremost.

2260
01:30:04,993 --> 01:30:06,993
I do not want a handjob.
Me neither.

2261
01:30:07,162 --> 01:30:09,700
However, when you look at it,
like a shotgun--

2262
01:30:09,869 --> 01:30:11,772
(CLICKS, PUFFS) You're done.
(SHOTGUN COCKS, FIRES)

2263
01:30:11,974 --> 01:30:13,197
(MIMICS EXPLOSION)

2264
01:30:13,366 --> 01:30:14,733
Now, listen,
we're gonna hold him, okay?

2265
01:30:14,902 --> 01:30:16,404
Okay.
It might be a day,

2266
01:30:16,573 --> 01:30:17,738
two weeks, I don't know.

2267
01:30:17,907 --> 01:30:19,003
I don't know how long
this movie is.

2268
01:30:19,172 --> 01:30:21,171
Like a Chris Nolan movie
with farts.

2269
01:30:21,340 --> 01:30:23,577
But what I want you to do
is go in there

2270
01:30:23,746 --> 01:30:25,709
and show him what you got.

2271
01:30:25,878 --> 01:30:26,948
Cock it and rock it.

2272
01:30:27,716 --> 01:30:29,753
(DISTANT SIRENS WAILING)

2273
01:30:30,751 --> 01:30:31,788
Ah.
(DOOR UNLOCKS)

2274
01:30:33,525 --> 01:30:35,891
(GASPS) Oh!
(DOOR SHUTS)

2275
01:30:36,759 --> 01:30:38,425
SHORTHAND:
There she is.

2276
01:30:38,594 --> 01:30:40,731
The birthday girl.

2277
01:30:43,929 --> 01:30:45,065
I brought a cake.

2278
01:30:46,469 --> 01:30:47,672
Make a wish.

2279
01:30:49,442 --> 01:30:51,304
My germs!
(SPUTTERS)

2280
01:30:51,473 --> 01:30:52,970
(SPUTTERS)

2281
01:30:53,139 --> 01:30:54,774
(BERGER SPITS)
(SMACKS LIPS)

2282
01:30:54,943 --> 01:30:58,080
Finger-licking good.
(GIGGLES)

2283
01:30:58,249 --> 01:31:01,647
Agent Berger, I'm just trying
to give you my strong hand.

2284
01:31:01,849 --> 01:31:03,981
No!
But it's a meme.

2285
01:31:04,183 --> 01:31:07,921
Mr. Shorthand,
are you Ghostface?

2286
01:31:08,090 --> 01:31:10,530
(WHOOPS) Here we go--
(GRUNTS, WHIMPERS)

2287
01:31:11,399 --> 01:31:13,263
Whew, that stings.
It's sort of--

2288
01:31:13,431 --> 01:31:14,265
(THUDS)
Whoo.

2289
01:31:14,434 --> 01:31:15,960
Okay, that hurts.
Stop.

2290
01:31:16,129 --> 01:31:17,232
Can I talk to you
for a second?

2291
01:31:17,401 --> 01:31:18,962
Yeah, o-okay.

2292
01:31:19,131 --> 01:31:20,766
(THUDS)
(MOANS, GASPS)

2293
01:31:20,935 --> 01:31:22,436
This table needs an airbag.

2294
01:31:22,605 --> 01:31:23,436
It should-- (GRUNTS)

2295
01:31:23,605 --> 01:31:25,140
BOTH: Goddamn!

2296
01:31:25,309 --> 01:31:26,477
Whoo!

2297
01:31:26,646 --> 01:31:28,009
I didn't think it would
hurt so bad.

2298
01:31:28,178 --> 01:31:30,682
So we got the wrong guy.
Could have told you that.

2299
01:31:31,517 --> 01:31:33,009
Why?
'Cause I'm psychic.

2300
01:31:33,178 --> 01:31:35,021
(SHORTHAND GASPS)
Oh, yeah!

2301
01:31:35,189 --> 01:31:36,385
You know, it's what--

2302
01:31:36,588 --> 01:31:37,818
(THUDS)
BOTH: Oh, shit!

2303
01:31:37,987 --> 01:31:39,389
(SIGHS) Oh, God,
that's how I feel.

2304
01:31:39,592 --> 01:31:40,857
Let me tell you some--
(GRUNTS)

2305
01:31:41,657 --> 01:31:43,395
What do we do now?

2306
01:31:43,598 --> 01:31:45,191
Back out slowly.
(THUDDING CONTINUES)

2307
01:31:45,359 --> 01:31:46,992
Like my neighbor when
I caught him inside my wife.

2308
01:31:47,161 --> 01:31:48,634
SHORTHAND:
Where are you guys going?

2309
01:31:48,803 --> 01:31:49,860
(THUDS, SHORTHAND GROANS)
They're still together?

2310
01:31:50,029 --> 01:31:51,500
(THUDS)
Unfortunately.

2311
01:31:51,669 --> 01:31:52,830
SHORTHAND: Ow!
(THUDS)

2312
01:31:52,999 --> 01:31:54,901
Sorry, man.
It's okay.

2313
01:31:55,104 --> 01:31:56,337
We're a throuple now.
(SHORTHAND GROANS)

2314
01:31:56,506 --> 01:32:01,408
(THUDS)



