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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ

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火辣菊花餐廳

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妹子，如果下面很癢，八成是陰蝨

5
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（你到底在哪？）

6
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（超丟臉的，我找不到餐廳）

7
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:10,028
（瑞奇，有鮑魚等你開吃！我先閃了！）

8
00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:12,990
妹子，要來點棕色烈酒嗎？

9
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,033
這種爛酒催不動老娘的小穴

10
00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:17,160
那就來杯龍舌蘭囉

11
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乎乾啦

12
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革命萬歲！

13
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這喝下去老娘的鮑魚嗨到翻跟斗

14
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妳來這裡幹嘛？

15
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妳覺得咧？

16
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:32,885
老娘是來演開場戲

17
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:34,845
我早就演過了

18
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接電話！接電話…

19
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-瑞奇？
-堤亞娜，嗨

20
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我想說觀眾不必看字幕會比較不累

21
00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:45,939
也是啦，這群白痴根本就不識字

22
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:49,693
我知道誰會花錢買票來看這種爛片

23
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:53,614
真高興能用這種超尬的方式認識妳

24
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我也是，但我得說實話

25
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:58,160
我看到你的大頭照差點直接左滑

26
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因為你長得像阿呆

27
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:04,208
但醜黑男通常是大屌俠，所以我才會來

28
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:05,876
我以為妳是澤西妹

29
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澤西妹？

30
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:09,253
聽好，我超愛澤西那股騷味

31
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但老娘是哈林區土生土長的狠角色

32
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只跟黑鬼玩

33
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所以妳是黑妹囉

34
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黑你老母啦！

35
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老娘是BLACK！

36
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全大寫

37
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,895
外加粗體那款

38
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你們全去吃屎啦！

39
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臭婊子，珍珠給我吐出來

40
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我才不要那種假貨

41
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-哈囉
-那妳說說

42
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妳最喜歡哪部恐怖片？

43
00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,953
我才不看咧，全都是智障套路

44
00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,788
為什麼每次都是白妞活下來？

45
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因為黑妞太難殺了

46
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瞭嗎？

47
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咱們連毒春捲都吃不死

48
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怎樣都能活下去

49
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出來跟我見面會比較好辦事

50
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出去見面？弟弟你很黏欸！

51
00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:59,346
-你什麼星座？一定是天蠍座
-妳怎知？

52
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,974
做愛超厲害，但做人像病毒

53
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,517
餐廳附近是不是有條小巷？

54
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對啦，趁你被搶之前趕快來

55
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,063
-買束玫瑰？
-今天不要

56
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:10,023
-有夠摳門
-我聽到囉，死破麻

57
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,651
好喔，我要走進巷子

58
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:14,695
我到了，看到沒？我在揮手

59
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沒有欸，我看到的人沒在揮手

60
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他一直在瞪我

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吼，你也瞪回去啊！

62
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別眨眼，死都別眨

63
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嘴巴皺起來說“看三小！”

64
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慘了，他正朝我走過來

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等等，噢不，他手上有刀！

66
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別把那肖仔引過來

67
00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:35,382
這不是最靠北的部分

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最靠北的是，妳明明超懂恐怖片套路

69
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卻還是一個人走進暗巷送死

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是啊，最靠北的是…

71
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,605
你惹到紐約瘋母狗，啾啾！

72
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,440
現身吧！

73
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:08,457
靠腰！她是復仇者聯盟！

74
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你很有事欸

75
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,723
我聽不出妳的鳥叫聲

76
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,725
我以為是…“咕咕”！

77
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:29,311
那是鴿子啦！白痴！應該是“啾啾”！

78
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:32,397
啾啾！像老鷹撲下來那樣！

79
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:34,942
拍謝啦

80
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,360
妳廢話說完了嗎？

81
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:38,612
搞屁啊？

82
00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:44,326
北七，老娘是堤亞娜泰勒，腹肌像鋼鐵人

83
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整死他！

84
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:47,663
我的手！我的手！

85
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:48,830
痛扁他！

86
00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:50,832
拜託，有話好說嘛

87
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,839
快來救救我！

88
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幹掉他！

89
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不！不！

90
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,304
喔！天啊！

91
00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:06,014
好啦，夠了啦

92
00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:08,851
我們撤吧，全都給我回家

93
00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,936
歡迎來到紐約，混蛋！

94
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:12,354
嘿，堤亞娜

95
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:16,733
妳也許踢爆我，但是妳沒贏奧斯卡獎

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你剛說我沒贏奧斯卡獎？

97
00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:21,530
我有口吃嗎？妳輸了！

98
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你說得對

99
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:25,284
但是我贏了金球獎，豬頭

100
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天啊，真假？

101
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:30,622
所以我不看《驚聲奸笑》，爛透了

102
00:05:30,706 --> 00:05:33,250
只是一堆明星客串跟放屁梗

103
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,128
妳不愛看惡搞片？

104
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,005
我比較喜歡文青窩心喜劇片

105
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那種不懂裝懂的高級喜劇片

106
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:43,427
高級喜劇片是什麼？

107
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:45,888
根本不好笑

108
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,598
卻讓白人覺得很有文化那種

109
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星期二，別去開門！可能是鬼臉

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艾兒，安啦，只有電影才會那樣演

111
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喔，嘿

112
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沒想到妳會來開門

113
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-搞屁啊
-我的刀子咧？

114
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喔，在這裡

115
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妳好，星期二

116
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:20,088
《驚聲尖笑》

117
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（絕命終結站 玩命主題樂園）

118
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（大家都會死）

119
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嘿，小姐

120
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妳吞了什麼藥？

121
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治過動症的利他能

122
00:06:41,944 --> 00:06:43,445
治創傷後壓力症的阿德拉

123
00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:45,656
治焦慮症的贊安諾

124
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,699
還有你的壯陽藥

125
00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:50,077
你現在硬不起來了

126
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,914
莎拉，妳吞了多少？

127
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:55,791
阿災，一瓶有幾顆？

128
00:06:57,668 --> 00:06:58,710
嘿，潔斯

129
00:06:58,794 --> 00:07:00,754
莎拉，星期二在醫院

130
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她被一個鬼臉殺手刺傷了

131
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:05,676
等等，武當幫的鬼臉煞星？

132
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,011
為什麼鬼臉煞星又名俏東尼

133
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,305
又名史塔基愛要捅我妹？

134
00:07:10,389 --> 00:07:14,852
不是鬼臉煞星啦，是戴著鬼臉面具的殺手

135
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,563
好吧，那比較合理

136
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,778
我才不會死！

137
00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,198
真是夠了，傑克！

138
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:31,827
幹嘛啦？我想在萬聖節穿這個

139
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:34,204
我失聯的平胸老妹

140
00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:36,582
差點被鬼臉瘋子捅死

141
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:39,835
我得去找她，彌補過去的傷痕

142
00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:41,712
嘿嘿嘿

143
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,046
我要跟妳去

144
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:46,258
我不是超明顯的變態殺人魔想騙妳回老家

145
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,719
-我只是個貼心男友
-好的

146
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:49,887
就醬

147
00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,431
好喔，走吧，上車

148
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:55,434
我們要先去一個地方

149
00:07:56,435 --> 00:07:57,853
我活下來了

150
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,480
多謝我的幸運硬幣

151
00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:08,572
（伍茲維爾高中）

152
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:29,635
我討厭你們都走了，給我來個愛的抱抱

153
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:32,888
大媽，夠了啦，關掉超low的音樂

154
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,474
超丟臉，尤其對黑人女生來說

155
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:39,394
才不會，我是大家心中的酷大媽，超炸的

156
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,063
別忘了我待會要練球，會晚點回家

157
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,649
你是黑人才能進校隊

158
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:45,776
那些種族歧視白痴以為你很會打球

159
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:49,530
現在是2026年，種族不是問題

160
00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:51,073
你有看黑人推特嗎？

161
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,324
沒有

162
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:53,992
呃，布萊德

163
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:55,869
你還在跟那個破麻交往？

164
00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:56,828
夠了

165
00:08:56,912 --> 00:08:58,372
別再羞辱人家啦，肥婆

166
00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:02,042
戴洛他們輪流上過她，並不代表她是破麻

167
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:04,920
她不是“破麻”，只是“性開放”

168
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:06,880
我很確定她是個破麻

169
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:10,008
辣妹！看看妳！

170
00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:11,593
提早過萬聖節嗎？

171
00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:13,512
妳今年扮什麼？淫蕩學生妹？

172
00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:14,471
淫娃響叮噹？

173
00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,598
嗨，米克斯太太

174
00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:18,433
超愛妳的髮型，很像…

175
00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,060
恐怖大媽

176
00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,353
多謝誇獎喔

177
00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:24,731
我得請妳到我家吃大便派

178
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:28,277
知道嗎？我得去上非裔歷史課了

179
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,486
今天要學奴隸制度

180
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:32,030
結果是一種選擇欸

181
00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:32,948
看到沒？

182
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:34,241
（《肯爺亂講黑人史》）

183
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,826
-肯爺寫的？
-對啊

184
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,453
學校一直都教錯我們了

185
00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:39,621
黑到底！

186
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,624
-掰，大媽
-好喔，掰，寶貝

187
00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:43,834
-掰，米克斯太太
-掰

188
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,044
兒子，我在你背包放了保險套

189
00:09:46,128 --> 00:09:47,754
你也知道女生多會套牢男生

190
00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:48,922
大媽！

191
00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:54,970
說真的，葛雷格警長
你不必陪我上學，我不會有事

192
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:57,890
潔斯，有個連環殺手趴趴走

193
00:09:57,973 --> 00:10:00,601
我不會讓我的寶貝女兒出事

194
00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:02,686
兒子！我是寶貝兒子！

195
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:06,607
對不起，我還不習慣這個轉變

196
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:09,568
很簡單啦，把我當成男生就行

197
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:10,986
好嗎？

198
00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:12,571
好啦，沒問題

199
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,323
-是啊
-打巴掌大戰

200
00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:16,992
你那也叫打巴掌？

201
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,205
你幹嘛打那麼用力？

202
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,457
別像個小娘砲

203
00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:26,502
娘砲

204
00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:31,173
不錯喔

205
00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:35,511
誰會住在這種鬼地方？

206
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:50,609
親愛的，見到妳真好！

207
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,486
進來吧！要喝茶嗎？

208
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:55,364
天啊，母親，妳整個結屎臉

209
00:10:56,198 --> 00:10:58,742
拜託，她只是剛好用完潤髮乳

210
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:02,412
小心走路，到處都是陷阱喔

211
00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:04,706
誰知道那個變態殺手幾時會回來

212
00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:06,625
進來吧

213
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:08,293
好喔

214
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,471
我討厭這工作

215
00:11:21,807 --> 00:11:23,058
坎貝爾太太

216
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:26,103
我是傑克，莎拉的男友

217
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:29,231
我聽過超多妳的事，都不是好事

218
00:11:30,274 --> 00:11:34,403
我沒聽過你的事，我猜你是個渣男

219
00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:37,614
但我怎麼會知道？畢竟我跟我女兒

220
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:39,616
六個月沒聯絡了？

221
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,451
是六年，母親

222
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:42,911
那是誰的錯？

223
00:11:42,995 --> 00:11:45,998
那是誰的錯？應該是妳的錯！

224
00:11:46,665 --> 00:11:47,666
也對啦

225
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:50,919
我們想知道妳熬過的恐怖事件

226
00:11:51,003 --> 00:11:51,837
聽好了

227
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:55,674
《驚聲尖笑3、4》付我超多片酬

228
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:57,801
我沒什麼好說的

229
00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:00,596
但你們想聊《女郎我最兔》就儘管問

230
00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:01,763
又發生了！

231
00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:05,809
戴著面具的殺手，我們得阻止他

232
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:07,936
妳沒準備好，小瓢蟲

233
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:11,273
我為這一刻練了好多年

234
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:13,025
犧牲了一切

235
00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:16,153
-妳是個壞母親
-拜託，親愛的

236
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,030
我們有過美好時光

237
00:12:18,113 --> 00:12:22,367
像我帶妳去商場見聖誕老人

238
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,041
（聖誕老人）

239
00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:31,418
莎拉，輪到妳了

240
00:12:31,502 --> 00:12:32,336
快去！

241
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,505
嗨，聖誕老人

242
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:37,841
我不會坐你大腿喔

243
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:40,260
你看起來超像變態

244
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:47,893
媽？

245
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,812
聖誕老人送我斷掉的手臂！

246
00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:52,606
別忘了說謝謝喔

247
00:12:59,363 --> 00:13:01,406
那是斷腿嗎？

248
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:03,158
咿，超噁爛

249
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:05,661
搞什麼東東？

250
00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:12,835
很抱歉妳是那樣發現聖誕老人不存在

251
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,962
母親，我需要妳幫忙！

252
00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:18,298
療癒我們的情感創傷和放下過去？

253
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:20,717
天啊，不是啦

254
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,761
幫我幹掉鬼臉！

255
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,429
妳有槍嗎？

256
00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:28,433
我可是辛蒂坎貝爾

257
00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:30,185
老娘有一大堆槍！

258
00:13:30,269 --> 00:13:31,228
但是…

259
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:35,232
我精神有問題，連一把都沒登記

260
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,068
你們最好要低調一點

261
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,487
好喔

262
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:42,239
我會好好的啦

263
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,492
我沒被這些尖刺給刺傷

264
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,668
我剛才跟莎拉談過

265
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:57,671
-她要來了嗎？
-我聽到呻吟聲

266
00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,339
-所以有可能
-不是啦

267
00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:02,384
-她要不要來伍茲維爾？
-我忘了問

268
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:05,053
嘿，吉寶！衝深一點！

269
00:14:07,097 --> 00:14:08,223
水啦！

270
00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:10,434
說到衝深一點…

271
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,477
現在聊澀澀的不太好

272
00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:14,188
大家都知道

273
00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:15,856
殺手趴趴走，最好別嘿咻

274
00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:17,566
布萊德說對了一件事

275
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:20,152
鬼臉又回來了，我們得全副武裝

276
00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:22,237
辣椒噴霧，有了

277
00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:24,615
電擊槍，有了

278
00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:27,868
肛塞，當然有囉

279
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,119
靠腰！

280
00:14:29,203 --> 00:14:30,954
妳帶著那玩意到處趴趴走？

281
00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,497
很容易藏起來啊

282
00:14:35,751 --> 00:14:37,252
藏在屁眼裡

283
00:14:38,754 --> 00:14:40,214
有夠猛的

284
00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:53,101
大夥兒怎樣？我回來惹！

285
00:14:54,603 --> 00:14:55,562
哇咧，靠北！

286
00:14:55,646 --> 00:14:57,773
-大叔，怎樣？
-大叔？

287
00:14:57,856 --> 00:15:00,442
我受夠你們這些Z世代小屁孩

288
00:15:00,526 --> 00:15:02,653
老是叫我們“大叔”和“阿姨”

289
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:07,282
用情勒和巴結的口氣把我們這代講得很老

290
00:15:07,366 --> 00:15:08,784
我才不是你的大叔！

291
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:11,286
修提，你是我們媽媽的兄弟，所以…

292
00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:13,455
你是我們的舅舅

293
00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:15,207
拍謝啦

294
00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:18,502
他們讓你在這裡教書太扯了

295
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,046
教書？才不是咧

296
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:25,384
我是學生，我當了25年的高三生

297
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:27,594
你到底幾時會畢業？

298
00:15:27,678 --> 00:15:29,888
等我們拍續集，然後我跟你們一起

299
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:31,139
上大學領片酬為止

300
00:15:31,223 --> 00:15:32,975
等等，星期二醒了

301
00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:35,519
好欸！星期二！星期二是哪位？

302
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:36,603
我們得趕去醫院

303
00:15:36,687 --> 00:15:39,314
-你要搭公車回家？
-才怪，是搭私機

304
00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:40,983
私人噴射機？

305
00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:42,150
對啊，嫉妒吧？

306
00:15:42,234 --> 00:15:43,694
你成天呼麻

307
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:46,238
打電玩、搞直播

308
00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:47,739
你根本躺著就能賺大錢

309
00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:51,785
沒錯，工程師才要爆肝工作

310
00:15:51,869 --> 00:15:52,703
哇咧，靠北！

311
00:15:53,871 --> 00:15:55,664
-修提還是老樣子
-好喔

312
00:15:56,415 --> 00:15:58,083
看看我的加密貨幣

313
00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,335
靠腰，我又賺了三百萬鎂！

314
00:16:01,837 --> 00:16:04,047
靠，我馬上又虧了五百萬鎂

315
00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:06,466
市場波動太大了

316
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,601
（超級同性戀）

317
00:16:22,274 --> 00:16:24,610
（覺醒充電站）

318
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:33,327
我要讓它發亮

319
00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:37,039
我心中的微小光芒

320
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:41,126
我要讓它發亮

321
00:16:41,210 --> 00:16:44,213
-小雷！
-布蘭達姊妹，沒關係

322
00:16:44,296 --> 00:16:46,548
你聽見罪惡的呼喚，是的

323
00:16:46,632 --> 00:16:50,552
但是主要我們引導你這種人走回正道

324
00:16:50,636 --> 00:16:53,555
來吧，孩子！跟我們一起來

325
00:16:53,639 --> 00:16:55,015
一起來吧

326
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:58,018
主看著你來，別白來啊

327
00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:02,189
我們要你用前所未有的方式來

328
00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:04,148
為了聖父來，為了聖子來

329
00:17:04,233 --> 00:17:07,069
我會握著你的手一起來

330
00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:08,654
-上帝真偉大
-是啊

331
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:10,196
謝謝祢，耶穌

332
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,156
-阿們
-哈里路亞

333
00:17:12,241 --> 00:17:13,784
這就對了

334
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:18,955
以主之名放手吧，小雷，放手吧

335
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:19,873
兄弟！

336
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,041
拍謝啦

337
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:23,377
最後一次

338
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:30,050
讓我們歡迎加入同志教團的新成員

339
00:17:30,926 --> 00:17:33,846
讓大家知道你的感覺，兄弟

340
00:17:38,392 --> 00:17:40,686
我不再是gay了

341
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:43,689
哈里路亞！

342
00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:44,690
好啊！

343
00:17:44,773 --> 00:17:46,149
我不再是gay了！

344
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:47,526
讚美主！

345
00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:49,111
我不再是gay了！

346
00:17:49,194 --> 00:17:50,571
他不再是gay了

347
00:17:50,654 --> 00:17:52,990
我得救了！

348
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,284
我不再跟男人約會了！

349
00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:56,577
就算他帥得要命

350
00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:59,246
有塊大胸肌和Q彈的乳暈！

351
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:01,790
-他還是有秘密
-我不再…

352
00:18:01,874 --> 00:18:04,501
拎皮包、化濃妝

353
00:18:04,585 --> 00:18:05,586
穿著高跟鞋趴趴走

354
00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:06,712
啥米？

355
00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:07,754
紅底鞋

356
00:18:07,838 --> 00:18:09,464
旁邊有可愛小扣環那雙

357
00:18:09,548 --> 00:18:11,175
那是我的鞋子

358
00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,969
我不再用同志交友軟體

359
00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:16,972
不再看到黑人猛男

360
00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:19,057
白人猛男和亞裔猛男就往右滑

361
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:20,309
你用過同志交友軟體？

362
00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:22,978
我不再去菲律賓

363
00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:24,438
尋找偽娘了

364
00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:27,649
或是去普吉島、蘇梅島又回去普吉島

365
00:18:27,733 --> 00:18:29,985
然後去越南找更便宜的偽娘

366
00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:32,237
我以為是為了結婚紀念日去的

367
00:18:32,321 --> 00:18:34,239
這小子累積了好多哩程數

368
00:18:34,323 --> 00:18:36,533
我不再在鏡子前面脫光光

369
00:18:36,617 --> 00:18:38,660
把老二夾在我的雙腿中間

370
00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:41,496
像《沉默的羔羊》那傢伙那樣跳舞

371
00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:43,665
“把乳液放進籃子，親愛的”

372
00:18:43,749 --> 00:18:46,502
我改邪歸正了！我得救了！

373
00:18:46,585 --> 00:18:48,337
-靠
-我會的！

374
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:50,214
我說我會的！

375
00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:52,841
我會愛女人！

376
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:55,385
女人女人女人！

377
00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:57,304
改成男人才對

378
00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:58,680
女人女人女人！

379
00:18:58,764 --> 00:19:00,974
男人男人男人

380
00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:08,357
不不不，小雷，不要

381
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,448
吞啊吞啊吞啊

382
00:19:16,532 --> 00:19:18,909
哇咧，兄弟

383
00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:22,704
你還吐口水？

384
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:24,790
我得救了！

385
00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:39,179
我得救了！

386
00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:56,280
星期二…

387
00:19:57,573 --> 00:19:58,907
歐買尬

388
00:19:58,991 --> 00:20:00,993
她的臉歪七扭八

389
00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:02,786
天啊，她還一直呻吟

390
00:20:06,832 --> 00:20:08,500
（尿尿）

391
00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:10,544
我一直想要尿出來

392
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:11,628
（安息）

393
00:20:11,712 --> 00:20:13,505
週二，妳覺得怎樣？

394
00:20:13,589 --> 00:20:16,049
他們給妳什麼止痛藥？那是…

395
00:20:16,133 --> 00:20:18,218
那是嗎啡嗎？

396
00:20:18,302 --> 00:20:20,429
-靠北
-讓我試試看

397
00:20:22,181 --> 00:20:24,349
喔！爽啦！

398
00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:27,519
這超爽的啦

399
00:20:27,603 --> 00:20:29,021
就像小甜甜布蘭妮用的好貨

400
00:20:29,104 --> 00:20:33,066
讓我想要脫到剩內褲，邊跳舞邊耍刀

401
00:20:33,150 --> 00:20:35,485
莎拉，像食人魔達默的傢伙是誰？

402
00:20:36,612 --> 00:20:38,280
這是我男友傑克

403
00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:40,282
很高興認識妳

404
00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:42,784
他比較像校園殺手泰德邦迪

405
00:20:42,868 --> 00:20:45,245
但那都不關我事

406
00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:49,458
這個小賤貨需要休息

407
00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:51,752
所以全都給我滾！

408
00:20:51,835 --> 00:20:52,794
是，女士

409
00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:55,464
妳別走，莎拉

410
00:20:55,547 --> 00:20:57,674
為什麼？我做了什麼？

411
00:20:58,634 --> 00:21:00,761
我好害怕

412
00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:04,348
喔，週二，妳是該害怕

413
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:07,100
妳被捅了九刀

414
00:21:07,184 --> 00:21:09,478
殺手也知道妳住在哪

415
00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:12,231
我是可以讓妳住我家啦

416
00:21:12,314 --> 00:21:14,983
但我不想把妳的惡運帶到我家

417
00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:18,362
搞不好殺手就站在門外

418
00:21:23,909 --> 00:21:26,119
妳真會安慰人，莎拉

419
00:21:26,203 --> 00:21:27,496
我以為我死定了

420
00:21:27,579 --> 00:21:29,706
我知道，我也這麼以為

421
00:21:29,790 --> 00:21:30,916
妳的喪禮都計畫好了

422
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:32,209
（星期二 2009-2026）

423
00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:34,878
-搞屁啊
-我也寫了妳的訃聞

424
00:21:34,962 --> 00:21:36,964
應該是ChatGPT寫的吧

425
00:21:37,047 --> 00:21:38,298
但妳還在這裡

426
00:21:38,382 --> 00:21:40,676
我不會讓任何人傷害妳

427
00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:45,138
好吃欸！冰塊！

428
00:21:45,222 --> 00:21:46,473
天啊！

429
00:21:47,182 --> 00:21:48,350
放開我！

430
00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:51,144
幫幫忙！

431
00:21:51,228 --> 00:21:53,272
我值班時這白妞不能死！

432
00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:54,481
我是靠多元共融進來的！

433
00:21:54,565 --> 00:21:57,568
天啊！她本來還好好的

434
00:21:57,651 --> 00:21:59,820
-不！我很好！
-讓開！

435
00:22:00,821 --> 00:22:01,780
再來一次！

436
00:22:01,864 --> 00:22:04,283
臭白妞，我需要這份工作，讓開！

437
00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:06,285
-沒有用！
-讓開！

438
00:22:06,368 --> 00:22:07,870
就快失去她了

439
00:22:08,954 --> 00:22:10,289
再用力一點！

440
00:22:14,168 --> 00:22:15,002
完了

441
00:22:15,627 --> 00:22:19,256
看來只能靠廢話、禱告和豬皮了

442
00:22:20,257 --> 00:22:21,258
我的老天鵝啊

443
00:22:21,341 --> 00:22:23,510
拉契特護士，檢查電線！

444
00:22:23,594 --> 00:22:25,888
《火線重案組》是我最愛的影集…

445
00:22:25,971 --> 00:22:27,890
毒品和伊卓瑞斯艾巴

446
00:22:27,973 --> 00:22:30,184
害老娘的蜜穴砰砰砰！

447
00:22:30,267 --> 00:22:34,062
主啊，請保佑這白妞一路好走…

448
00:22:36,023 --> 00:22:38,066
上帝老是愛搞神蹟

449
00:22:38,984 --> 00:22:40,194
我要去休息

450
00:22:40,277 --> 00:22:41,987
喔，週二

451
00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:44,698
我不會讓任何人傷害妳…

452
00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:46,283
再一次

453
00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:51,872
拍謝啦

454
00:22:53,874 --> 00:22:55,751
（戀母情結）

455
00:23:03,217 --> 00:23:04,468
喂？

456
00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:06,470
妳好，莎拉

457
00:23:07,012 --> 00:23:08,555
你是誰？

458
00:23:08,639 --> 00:23:12,226
知道妳小祕密的人

459
00:23:12,309 --> 00:23:14,895
不，我發誓那不是納粹禮！

460
00:23:14,978 --> 00:23:18,565
我當上舞會皇后，用手把我的心丟出去！

461
00:23:18,649 --> 00:23:23,529
不，我說的是妳的家族祕密

462
00:23:24,321 --> 00:23:27,741
喔，就是你拿刀捅我老妹

463
00:23:27,824 --> 00:23:30,077
我總得設法讓妳回來啊

464
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:34,289
你要惹我，王八蛋，那就來找我啊！

465
00:23:34,373 --> 00:23:35,791
樂意之至

466
00:23:40,504 --> 00:23:42,089
救命！

467
00:23:42,172 --> 00:23:44,132
救救我！

468
00:23:44,216 --> 00:23:47,010
快來救救我！

469
00:23:47,761 --> 00:23:49,388
渣女！

470
00:23:49,471 --> 00:23:50,848
這是休息室

471
00:23:51,932 --> 00:23:53,058
我們在耍廢

472
00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:54,685
-天啊
-少來這套

473
00:24:01,066 --> 00:24:02,109
看我這招！

474
00:24:06,196 --> 00:24:07,656
拜託救救我！

475
00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:10,409
我一整天都在救人！

476
00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:12,286
妳自己搞定

477
00:24:12,369 --> 00:24:17,207
我要在這邊吃瓜配沙威瑪和豬皮

478
00:24:17,291 --> 00:24:19,126
我像是妳老媽嗎？

479
00:24:21,003 --> 00:24:23,839
-好膽就來！
-休息結束了

480
00:24:30,387 --> 00:24:31,680
不客氣

481
00:24:34,683 --> 00:24:37,936
看來你被什麼K得很慘，像是金屬

482
00:24:38,020 --> 00:24:40,397
我說過，我自己跌倒

483
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:44,276
-我們要去哪？
-去找一個專家

484
00:24:48,155 --> 00:24:50,949
（散播歡笑，不是新冠病毒）

485
00:24:51,033 --> 00:24:56,121
（別把細菌帶進來）

486
00:24:56,205 --> 00:24:57,206
走開！

487
00:24:57,289 --> 00:25:00,834
抱歉打擾你，我們只想問幾個問題

488
00:25:01,585 --> 00:25:04,046
給我一個好的理由跟妳講話

489
00:25:04,129 --> 00:25:05,339
我是白人

490
00:25:05,422 --> 00:25:08,592
-妳有多白？
-就連白妞都說我太白

491
00:25:10,260 --> 00:25:11,428
保持社交距離

492
00:25:11,512 --> 00:25:14,097
當妳說專家，我以為妳是說天文學家…

493
00:25:14,181 --> 00:25:15,307
閉嘴啦

494
00:25:15,390 --> 00:25:16,517
我是莎拉坎貝爾

495
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,269
-我昨晚遭到攻擊
-你們應該離開

496
00:25:19,353 --> 00:25:21,939
我不想被刀子捅，也不想得新冠

497
00:25:22,022 --> 00:25:24,691
拜託了，只要兩分鐘

498
00:25:24,775 --> 00:25:26,068
不，不

499
00:25:26,151 --> 00:25:27,486
我給妳八分鐘

500
00:25:29,279 --> 00:25:30,614
還有一件事

501
00:25:31,573 --> 00:25:33,200
我得幫你們驗一下新冠

502
00:25:37,538 --> 00:25:38,914
你們都沒事

503
00:25:38,997 --> 00:25:40,999
工作日怎麼會變成覺醒日？

504
00:25:41,083 --> 00:25:44,169
現在有黑色星期五，然後是混血星期一？

505
00:25:44,253 --> 00:25:45,921
黃色星期四？

506
00:25:46,004 --> 00:25:48,465
棕色星期二？拜託

507
00:25:50,884 --> 00:25:52,886
讓我把這個拿走

508
00:25:52,970 --> 00:25:53,804
拍謝

509
00:25:55,639 --> 00:25:57,182
檢驗出來了

510
00:25:57,975 --> 00:25:59,393
對！你們都是陰性

511
00:26:01,478 --> 00:26:02,938
妳是辛蒂的女兒，對吧？

512
00:26:03,021 --> 00:26:04,481
-對
-對啊

513
00:26:04,565 --> 00:26:08,318
-我不認識他
-這是傑克，我的戀愛對象

514
00:26:08,402 --> 00:26:09,862
不！不不不

515
00:26:09,945 --> 00:26:13,198
恐怖片生存第一條法則就是

516
00:26:13,282 --> 00:26:15,492
絕對不能相信戀愛對象

517
00:26:15,576 --> 00:26:16,827
看看他！

518
00:26:17,452 --> 00:26:20,747
他那隻眼睛歪到不知道在看哪

519
00:26:20,831 --> 00:26:23,959
還像殺人魔那樣流口水

520
00:26:24,042 --> 00:26:25,878
他的腿好像斷掉重接

521
00:26:25,961 --> 00:26:28,380
走路變得又怪又詭異

522
00:26:28,463 --> 00:26:31,258
-我沒有斷腿
-那傢伙有

523
00:26:31,341 --> 00:26:34,636
喔，原來那是我自己

524
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:38,056
特勤警官杜菲，退休了

525
00:26:38,140 --> 00:26:40,767
杜菲，我們真的需要你幫忙

526
00:26:41,310 --> 00:26:43,437
不，我不能回去那種生活

527
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,023
現在又是全球疫情大爆發！

528
00:26:46,106 --> 00:26:50,736
我不想讓你失望，但疫情早就結束了

529
00:26:50,819 --> 00:26:52,279
真的嗎？

530
00:26:52,362 --> 00:26:53,530
真的

531
00:26:56,158 --> 00:26:57,701
可惡！

532
00:26:57,784 --> 00:27:00,454
我要拿這麼多肉罐頭怎麼辦？

533
00:27:02,039 --> 00:27:04,875
給我滾！我不想讓鬼臉找到我

534
00:27:04,958 --> 00:27:06,210
別再回來！

535
00:27:09,713 --> 00:27:11,256
（伍茲維爾 鬼臉出生地）

536
00:27:11,340 --> 00:27:12,883
（22,012白痴屁孩死在這）

537
00:27:18,889 --> 00:27:20,516
波麗士大人駕到

538
00:27:25,604 --> 00:27:28,232
特勤警官杜菲來亂了

539
00:27:29,274 --> 00:27:32,194
他洗過澡並不代表…

540
00:27:32,277 --> 00:27:35,781
我沒洗澡啦，只是用口水擦一擦

541
00:27:35,864 --> 00:27:37,282
-你要嗎？
-不了，沒關係

542
00:27:37,908 --> 00:27:40,244
-來吧，杜菲
-好喔，上吧

543
00:27:40,327 --> 00:27:42,079
莎拉，要等妳的菜市場老媽來

544
00:27:42,162 --> 00:27:44,373
還是要開始討論劇情了？

545
00:27:47,584 --> 00:27:48,877
嗨

546
00:27:48,961 --> 00:27:50,212
妳來了

547
00:27:50,295 --> 00:27:52,130
我15年沒來過啦

548
00:27:52,214 --> 00:27:56,426
但我買了這朵玫瑰，希望會有搞頭

549
00:28:00,097 --> 00:28:01,515
（修提米克斯紀念家庭劇院）

550
00:28:02,975 --> 00:28:05,185
喔，我的老朋友！

551
00:28:05,269 --> 00:28:07,688
你教我怎麼跳舞

552
00:28:07,771 --> 00:28:10,440
還教我做種族歧視黑人派

553
00:28:10,524 --> 00:28:12,818
傻妞，我就在妳後面

554
00:28:12,901 --> 00:28:13,735
修提！

555
00:28:13,819 --> 00:28:15,153
辛蒂，怎樣？

556
00:28:15,237 --> 00:28:17,447
妳好嗎？老妞

557
00:28:18,365 --> 00:28:19,908
哇咧，靠北！

558
00:28:21,076 --> 00:28:22,953
我不敢相信妳以為我掛了

559
00:28:23,036 --> 00:28:25,747
你成天呼麻快得癌症

560
00:28:25,831 --> 00:28:28,208
超愛吃肋排堡加上臭白人條子

561
00:28:28,292 --> 00:28:29,751
我猜你根本就活不久

562
00:28:29,835 --> 00:28:31,795
對啊，那根本是自殺套餐

563
00:28:32,504 --> 00:28:34,882
-嗨，辛蒂
-別再詭笑了！

564
00:28:37,718 --> 00:28:39,303
靠腰！開打惹！

565
00:28:39,386 --> 00:28:41,346
開打惹！開打惹！

566
00:28:41,430 --> 00:28:43,807
嘿，他是智障欸！

567
00:28:43,891 --> 00:28:45,851
他就是那副白痴臉，白妞酒鬼

568
00:28:45,934 --> 00:28:46,935
嘿嘿嘿

569
00:28:47,019 --> 00:28:50,063
別罵那白妞酒鬼，放尊重點

570
00:28:50,147 --> 00:28:53,066
我一直看到有人在詭笑

571
00:28:53,150 --> 00:28:56,737
我超顧人怨，所以八成是被下咒了

572
00:28:56,820 --> 00:28:59,990
-嗨！大夥兒！看我帶了什麼
-她嗨了

573
00:29:00,073 --> 00:29:01,825
沒品牌的果凍shot

574
00:29:01,909 --> 00:29:04,286
加了工業酒精跟液態搖頭丸

575
00:29:04,369 --> 00:29:06,371
沒人會像上次那樣

576
00:29:06,455 --> 00:29:08,373
喝到斷片，拍謝啦

577
00:29:08,457 --> 00:29:10,209
-拿一杯
-我超愛嗑藥

578
00:29:11,293 --> 00:29:12,544
-不了，大媽
-妳確定？

579
00:29:12,628 --> 00:29:13,462
嗨，布蘭達

580
00:29:13,545 --> 00:29:15,714
別用我本名叫我

581
00:29:15,797 --> 00:29:17,090
叫我大媽

582
00:29:18,634 --> 00:29:19,468
辛蒂！

583
00:29:19,551 --> 00:29:20,844
歐買尬！

584
00:29:21,887 --> 00:29:22,888
妳把托盤弄掉了

585
00:29:22,971 --> 00:29:26,183
歐買尬，辛蒂，好久不見！

586
00:29:26,266 --> 00:29:28,977
天啊！看看妳！一點都沒變嘛！

587
00:29:29,061 --> 00:29:30,521
除了魚尾紋多到不行

588
00:29:30,604 --> 00:29:32,773
頭髮乾得像拖把

589
00:29:32,856 --> 00:29:35,776
奶子垂到快要能刷悠遊卡

590
00:29:35,859 --> 00:29:38,654
要不然妳完全跟以前一樣

591
00:29:38,737 --> 00:29:40,572
妳這陣子都在幹嘛？

592
00:29:40,656 --> 00:29:42,783
喔，就放養小孩啊

593
00:29:42,866 --> 00:29:45,577
準備哪天鬼臉回來狠狠幹掉他

594
00:29:46,286 --> 00:29:47,538
妳咧？

595
00:29:47,621 --> 00:29:49,998
我最近都在把高中生灌醉

596
00:29:50,082 --> 00:29:52,793
拼命設法青春永駐和把小孩關在家

597
00:29:52,876 --> 00:29:55,796
-我一直都知道妳會是好媽媽
-喔！辛蒂！

598
00:29:55,879 --> 00:29:57,297
要抱抱嗎？

599
00:29:57,381 --> 00:30:01,426
我超想的，但我是挺川派
應該要種族歧視

600
00:30:01,510 --> 00:30:04,054
喔，妹子，白人都嘛是這樣，來抱抱

601
00:30:04,137 --> 00:30:05,222
好喔

602
00:30:07,349 --> 00:30:10,310
-要喝一杯嗎？
-好喔

603
00:30:10,394 --> 00:30:12,604
大媽，這地方可以超酷欸

604
00:30:12,688 --> 00:30:15,357
那邊放張投杯球桌

605
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:16,608
弄一面零食牆

606
00:30:16,692 --> 00:30:18,402
你懂什麼叫酷？老娘在你這年紀

607
00:30:18,485 --> 00:30:20,863
都跟吹牛、吹牛老爹

608
00:30:20,946 --> 00:30:22,281
吹牛弟弟、弟弟一起喝爆

609
00:30:22,364 --> 00:30:23,991
不管他改什麼名

610
00:30:24,658 --> 00:30:25,826
那很母湯欸

611
00:30:25,909 --> 00:30:27,619
妳老媽當年口味超重

612
00:30:28,453 --> 00:30:29,454
哇咧，靠北！

613
00:30:29,538 --> 00:30:30,706
想看超酷的東東嗎？

614
00:30:30,789 --> 00:30:32,875
我就秀給你們看

615
00:30:40,299 --> 00:30:41,550
天啊，超酷的

616
00:30:41,633 --> 00:30:42,718
妳在幹嘛？

617
00:30:42,801 --> 00:30:43,635
什麼啦？

618
00:30:43,719 --> 00:30:45,762
不是那樣，是這樣

619
00:30:45,846 --> 00:30:47,472
對吼

620
00:30:47,556 --> 00:30:51,351
你們怕個屁啊，根本就沒上膛

621
00:30:52,019 --> 00:30:52,853
靠腰！

622
00:30:52,936 --> 00:30:54,938
哇咧，靠北！

623
00:30:55,856 --> 00:30:57,691
糟糕，我又搞砸了

624
00:31:00,319 --> 00:31:02,487
我老是忘了槍膛還有子彈

625
00:31:02,571 --> 00:31:04,656
-幫我搬屍體
-好喔，沒問題

626
00:31:04,740 --> 00:31:06,200
超好玩的

627
00:31:07,075 --> 00:31:10,120
-待會要幹嘛？
-我想去卡波度假

628
00:31:10,204 --> 00:31:12,122
我超愛卡波！

629
00:31:12,206 --> 00:31:13,457
妳知道嗎？

630
00:31:13,540 --> 00:31:16,168
我以前都把古柯鹼塞進小穴去那裡

631
00:31:16,251 --> 00:31:17,794
-因為妳超會
-嘿啊

632
00:31:17,878 --> 00:31:21,507
（白人屁孩路人甲）

633
00:31:26,678 --> 00:31:29,640
鬧夠了喔，該討論劇情了

634
00:31:29,723 --> 00:31:32,726
我在看你，邪眼仔，活像校園槍擊犯

635
00:31:32,809 --> 00:31:34,853
-我覺得你是殺手
-我嗎？

636
00:31:34,937 --> 00:31:37,064
杜菲副警長咧？

637
00:31:37,147 --> 00:31:40,359
我沒有動機，我的動機是啥？

638
00:31:40,442 --> 00:31:42,236
你是第一部電影的殺手

639
00:31:42,319 --> 00:31:44,780
-不是應該被關嗎？
-我被特赦了

640
00:31:44,863 --> 00:31:47,950
因為我闖進國會山莊

641
00:31:48,825 --> 00:31:50,077
我有證據喔

642
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,579
這是我，還有裱框喔

643
00:31:52,663 --> 00:31:53,872
超酷的帽子

644
00:31:53,956 --> 00:31:55,582
潔斯咧？

645
00:31:56,500 --> 00:31:57,459
我怎樣？

646
00:31:57,543 --> 00:32:00,087
你的心理問題超多，會殺人…

647
00:32:00,170 --> 00:32:01,755
好啦，我瞭啦！

648
00:32:01,839 --> 00:32:03,799
跨性別羞辱很不酷喔

649
00:32:03,882 --> 00:32:05,926
-他只是個男生
-對啊

650
00:32:06,009 --> 00:32:08,971
少了上半身肌肉和一根老二

651
00:32:09,054 --> 00:32:11,098
妳又不知道我下面有什麼

652
00:32:11,181 --> 00:32:13,684
-我知道
-嘿

653
00:32:13,767 --> 00:32:15,143
我們現在只知道

654
00:32:15,227 --> 00:32:19,356
所有被攻擊的人都跟元祖角色有關

655
00:32:19,439 --> 00:32:20,732
他想幹掉那些屁孩

656
00:32:20,816 --> 00:32:24,611
哇災！他在拍重啟續集

657
00:32:24,695 --> 00:32:27,573
-啥米？
-重啟加上續集

658
00:32:27,656 --> 00:32:29,992
把老角色跟新角色硬湊在一起

659
00:32:30,075 --> 00:32:32,911
靠狗屁懷舊情懷

660
00:32:32,995 --> 00:32:34,830
騙粉絲掏錢進戲院

661
00:32:34,913 --> 00:32:36,874
就像去年的《是誰搞的鬼》

662
00:32:39,251 --> 00:32:41,837
-那是一部電影？
-是誰搞的鬼？

663
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:43,672
妳是說《夏日之戀》影集吧

664
00:32:43,755 --> 00:32:46,133
-對啦
-小雷，你是幾時來的？

665
00:32:46,216 --> 00:32:48,302
我一直都在啊，只是躲在男廁

666
00:32:49,636 --> 00:32:50,596
我房間？

667
00:32:50,679 --> 00:32:51,889
好吧，所以這代表

668
00:32:51,972 --> 00:32:55,601
殺手在拍自己的《驚聲奸笑》

669
00:32:55,684 --> 00:32:59,354
照這套好萊塢炒冷飯規則…

670
00:32:59,438 --> 00:33:00,439
殺手到底是誰？

671
00:33:01,857 --> 00:33:04,151
我覺得很明顯啊

672
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:07,529
是誰？

673
00:33:08,113 --> 00:33:09,615
-就是妳，臭婊子
-我？

674
00:33:09,698 --> 00:33:11,617
大夥兒，我不是殺手

675
00:33:11,700 --> 00:33:14,745
鬼臉攻擊週二把我騙回來

676
00:33:14,828 --> 00:33:18,207
他攻擊週二把妳騙回來

677
00:33:18,290 --> 00:33:20,125
是為了把我騙回來

678
00:33:20,209 --> 00:33:22,503
他想幹掉元祖角色

679
00:33:22,586 --> 00:33:23,754
那是在炫耀吧

680
00:33:23,837 --> 00:33:25,005
嘿啊，一點也沒錯

681
00:33:25,088 --> 00:33:26,632
老娘不玩了！

682
00:33:26,715 --> 00:33:29,593
去死吧，母親！

683
00:33:29,676 --> 00:33:31,720
妳叫妳母親去死？

684
00:33:31,803 --> 00:33:34,848
喂！有點家教好不好！

685
00:33:34,932 --> 00:33:36,225
叫我媽啦！

686
00:33:36,308 --> 00:33:37,643
或是媽咪

687
00:33:37,726 --> 00:33:39,895
青菜啦，妳OK就好

688
00:33:41,647 --> 00:33:43,106
各單位注意

689
00:33:43,190 --> 00:33:44,691
嫌犯仍在逃

690
00:33:44,775 --> 00:33:47,778
黑色斗篷、白色面具、手持大刀

691
00:33:51,657 --> 00:33:55,118
（哇災！）

692
00:34:00,582 --> 00:34:03,460
-說吧
-你好，警長

693
00:34:03,544 --> 00:34:04,920
安德伍探員？

694
00:34:05,003 --> 00:34:09,299
給你個提示，你最喜歡哪部恐怖片？

695
00:34:09,382 --> 00:34:11,342
我會挑《鹽燒》

696
00:34:11,426 --> 00:34:14,263
那個英國帥哥的屌大到嚇人

697
00:34:14,346 --> 00:34:17,516
鄭肯在《醉後大丈夫》露的那根

698
00:34:17,599 --> 00:34:19,434
才符合男性人體工學

699
00:34:19,518 --> 00:34:21,103
你想幹嘛，臭面具仔？

700
00:34:21,186 --> 00:34:24,438
我只是打來告訴你等你回到家

701
00:34:24,523 --> 00:34:26,608
你女兒已經被我開膛剖肚了

702
00:34:27,275 --> 00:34:30,362
王八蛋，她是男生！

703
00:34:39,329 --> 00:34:40,163
潔斯！

704
00:34:55,637 --> 00:34:56,972
你在找這個嗎？

705
00:34:58,223 --> 00:34:59,558
讓我幫幫你

706
00:35:00,309 --> 00:35:04,188
我割掉你的小雞雞，哈哈哈

707
00:35:13,405 --> 00:35:14,406
（殺手來電）

708
00:35:14,489 --> 00:35:15,407
好吧，來吧

709
00:35:15,490 --> 00:35:17,326
你想幹嘛，臭面具仔？

710
00:35:17,409 --> 00:35:20,954
有其父必有其…子？

711
00:35:21,997 --> 00:35:23,832
我知道你一個人在家

712
00:35:23,916 --> 00:35:25,501
我爸不在家，但…

713
00:35:25,584 --> 00:35:30,422
泳池工、園丁和水電工全都在，北七

714
00:35:30,506 --> 00:35:32,382
看看你的窗外

715
00:35:33,926 --> 00:35:34,927
拜託！

716
00:35:35,010 --> 00:35:35,844
（移民局）

717
00:35:35,928 --> 00:35:36,762
移民局！

718
00:35:36,845 --> 00:35:39,848
不！他們是美國勞動力的支柱！

719
00:35:40,599 --> 00:35:42,100
我是白人，不幹那種粗活

720
00:35:42,184 --> 00:35:46,104
廢話少說，我問你一個問題

721
00:35:46,188 --> 00:35:49,024
答對了就能活命

722
00:35:49,107 --> 00:35:52,778
《驚聲奸笑》的殺手是誰？

723
00:35:52,861 --> 00:35:56,031
超簡單的，是巴比和同志小雷

724
00:35:56,114 --> 00:35:59,326
那個超愛男人卻死不承認的傢伙

725
00:35:59,409 --> 00:36:01,411
典型的2000年代恐同症

726
00:36:01,495 --> 00:36:02,913
我答對了，遜咖

727
00:36:02,996 --> 00:36:05,958
答錯了！你忘了特勤警官杜菲

728
00:36:06,041 --> 00:36:07,793
你死定了

729
00:36:12,631 --> 00:36:14,299
（前門髒辮鎖）

730
00:36:16,176 --> 00:36:17,928
拎娘咧！

731
00:36:19,471 --> 00:36:21,223
你應該去開門

732
00:36:21,306 --> 00:36:24,893
我看得到你在偷拿包裹

733
00:36:26,395 --> 00:36:27,604
靠腰！

734
00:36:28,730 --> 00:36:30,399
超簡單的

735
00:36:34,027 --> 00:36:35,988
有人叫牛排嗎？外送到了

736
00:36:38,991 --> 00:36:40,909
-等一下
-小心

737
00:36:40,993 --> 00:36:42,578
別把殺手放進來

738
00:36:44,121 --> 00:36:47,666
你的身分認同就快是死人了

739
00:36:50,586 --> 00:36:51,837
你…

740
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:53,672
拿刀捅人

741
00:36:53,755 --> 00:36:55,382
像個女生

742
00:37:02,055 --> 00:37:04,516
來啊，熟女！跳一下鬼臉舞！

743
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:07,394
快來買鬼臉殺手豪華典藏組

744
00:37:07,477 --> 00:37:09,438
這是成人版IG朝會新聞記者魏琪琪

745
00:37:09,521 --> 00:37:11,148
朝會新聞？是潮吹新聞吧

746
00:37:11,231 --> 00:37:13,317
妳連攝影師都沒有！

747
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:14,568
我的器材！

748
00:37:16,195 --> 00:37:17,154
不好意思

749
00:37:19,198 --> 00:37:20,782
天啊，妳是…

750
00:37:20,866 --> 00:37:21,783
對啦

751
00:37:21,867 --> 00:37:25,871
三度艾美獎腥羶色報導傑出成就獎入圍者

752
00:37:25,954 --> 00:37:30,334
我本來要說《六人行》的老妹
只是矮一點，肉毒少打一點

753
00:37:31,335 --> 00:37:33,212
-妳要那麼毒舌？
-對啊

754
00:37:33,295 --> 00:37:34,796
妳認真不知道我是誰？

755
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:37,216
-妹子，我是蓋兒…
-蓋高尚！

756
00:37:37,299 --> 00:37:38,342
嘿

757
00:37:38,425 --> 00:37:39,843
蓋兒海爾斯登

758
00:37:39,927 --> 00:37:41,929
給我閃邊！

759
00:37:46,350 --> 00:37:49,811
-杜菲
-嘿，蓋兒

760
00:37:49,895 --> 00:37:52,022
哇塞，妳都沒變老

761
00:37:53,190 --> 00:37:55,192
妳只老了一百萬天，差不多是…

762
00:37:55,275 --> 00:37:56,944
你的手指聞起來像雞雞

763
00:37:57,027 --> 00:37:59,571
你穿這什麼搞怪制服？

764
00:37:59,655 --> 00:38:02,741
我回來辦案，我要抓到鬼臉

765
00:38:02,824 --> 00:38:04,368
是喔

766
00:38:04,451 --> 00:38:07,120
告訴我，特殊需求警官杜菲

767
00:38:08,580 --> 00:38:09,414
哇咧

768
00:38:09,498 --> 00:38:13,168
這起悲催又超好猜的案件有嫌犯嗎？

769
00:38:13,252 --> 00:38:14,461
我不能說

770
00:38:14,545 --> 00:38:16,797
-母湯啦，好喔
-你可以說

771
00:38:18,882 --> 00:38:19,716
你可以告訴我

772
00:38:20,425 --> 00:38:21,260
歐買尬

773
00:38:22,594 --> 00:38:23,846
嘿

774
00:38:23,929 --> 00:38:27,933
妳以前不是都靠口交換內幕消息嗎？

775
00:38:28,016 --> 00:38:31,228
我在MeToo之後就沒再口交了

776
00:38:31,311 --> 00:38:32,729
好啦，拍謝

777
00:38:32,813 --> 00:38:35,315
我只幫人打手槍，但爆的料最好夠猛

778
00:38:35,399 --> 00:38:38,694
好喔，打手槍也行，來吧…

779
00:38:49,621 --> 00:38:50,873
搞什麼…

780
00:38:58,755 --> 00:39:00,174
我要抓到你

781
00:39:00,257 --> 00:39:01,967
我要抓到你，小雷大叔要抓到你

782
00:39:02,050 --> 00:39:04,469
-小雷？
-你偷走我的衣服，臭小子

783
00:39:07,890 --> 00:39:09,892
也許大麻不該合法化

784
00:39:12,686 --> 00:39:14,188
靠腰，當然要啦

785
00:39:24,281 --> 00:39:26,200
你好，修提

786
00:39:26,783 --> 00:39:30,120
你知道吸菸有害健康吧

787
00:39:30,204 --> 00:39:31,538
其實呼麻有益健康

788
00:39:31,622 --> 00:39:34,875
有維他命T、C和H

789
00:39:34,958 --> 00:39:37,002
還有C、B和D

790
00:39:37,085 --> 00:39:38,378
修提，怎麼了？

791
00:39:38,462 --> 00:39:41,381
你看起來有點緊張

792
00:39:41,465 --> 00:39:44,927
也許是因為有個面具連環殺手

793
00:39:45,010 --> 00:39:46,553
在我家客廳喝茶

794
00:39:46,637 --> 00:39:48,388
修提，你是我的黑鬼

795
00:39:48,472 --> 00:39:50,807
我是說朋友，坐吧

796
00:39:50,891 --> 00:39:52,309
好喔

797
00:39:55,521 --> 00:39:57,231
你想戒菸嗎？

798
00:39:57,314 --> 00:39:59,816
老實說，我試過

799
00:39:59,900 --> 00:40:03,111
但我媽說：“我不會養半途而廢的孬種”

800
00:40:03,904 --> 00:40:04,947
所以我就放棄了

801
00:40:05,030 --> 00:40:07,241
我們可以試試催眠

802
00:40:07,324 --> 00:40:11,411
不管你拿多少懷錶在我面前晃

803
00:40:11,495 --> 00:40:13,163
都不會有用啦，臭小子

804
00:40:13,247 --> 00:40:14,957
你休想磁眠我

805
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:16,250
睡吧

806
00:40:18,544 --> 00:40:20,504
修提

807
00:40:22,631 --> 00:40:24,007
幹嘛？

808
00:40:24,091 --> 00:40:26,510
跟我說說你老媽

809
00:40:28,053 --> 00:40:29,096
靠腰，兄弟

810
00:40:29,179 --> 00:40:31,098
先從簡單的開始，像是

811
00:40:31,181 --> 00:40:33,183
“你舔不舔屌？”

812
00:40:33,267 --> 00:40:35,185
答案是當然囉

813
00:40:35,269 --> 00:40:37,896
修提，她發生什麼事？

814
00:40:40,649 --> 00:40:42,401
她正要回家

815
00:40:43,318 --> 00:40:45,612
她的車停在路邊

816
00:40:45,696 --> 00:40:47,573
車上有一個人

817
00:40:48,490 --> 00:40:50,117
然後就發生壞事

818
00:40:54,413 --> 00:40:57,040
-你怎麼不報警？
-不行啦

819
00:40:57,124 --> 00:40:58,584
我被通緝欸

820
00:40:58,667 --> 00:41:00,210
你才11歲

821
00:41:00,294 --> 00:41:02,087
老子很早熟啦

822
00:41:04,756 --> 00:41:06,550
你看到什麼？

823
00:41:09,428 --> 00:41:10,971
（正在車震 請勿打擾）

824
00:41:11,471 --> 00:41:14,266
我看到水噴得到處都是

825
00:41:16,101 --> 00:41:17,686
就像民權運動鎮暴水柱

826
00:41:22,107 --> 00:41:24,193
警察說是謀殺後自殺案

827
00:41:25,444 --> 00:41:26,820
她殺了那傢伙

828
00:41:26,904 --> 00:41:30,741
車門一打開，癱軟的屍體就滑出來

829
00:41:34,077 --> 00:41:36,997
就像《水底情深》的綠兄弟

830
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:38,832
我不希望那是真的

831
00:41:38,916 --> 00:41:40,959
你不希望什麼是真的？

832
00:41:42,044 --> 00:41:44,129
我老媽會潮吹！

833
00:41:44,713 --> 00:41:46,632
好啦，她會潮吹

834
00:41:46,715 --> 00:41:49,092
她房間的地板都泡到變形

835
00:41:49,176 --> 00:41:52,304
-我動不了
-你癱瘓了

836
00:41:52,387 --> 00:41:53,722
現在…

837
00:41:54,348 --> 00:41:56,475
-沉進椅子
-等等，不要…

838
00:41:56,558 --> 00:41:57,726
-等等
-沉下去

839
00:42:03,482 --> 00:42:06,109
救人啊！

840
00:42:14,493 --> 00:42:18,872
我整個人鏘掉了！

841
00:42:20,332 --> 00:42:23,877
不，你掉進K-Pop動畫了

842
00:42:30,008 --> 00:42:31,969
我剛嗑完一整碗

843
00:42:32,052 --> 00:42:33,929
直接嗨到九重天

844
00:42:34,012 --> 00:42:36,139
飛得超高的

845
00:42:36,223 --> 00:42:37,224
害我亂講韓文

846
00:42:37,307 --> 00:42:38,392
哇咧，靠北

847
00:42:38,475 --> 00:42:39,935
我嗨到

848
00:42:40,018 --> 00:42:42,563
靈魂出竅

849
00:42:42,646 --> 00:42:46,191
整個臉沒有感覺

850
00:42:46,275 --> 00:42:47,860
從小就是問題兒童

851
00:42:47,943 --> 00:42:50,571
叼著黑與醇雪茄

852
00:42:50,654 --> 00:42:53,282
現在準備要打砲

853
00:42:53,365 --> 00:42:54,700
你們等著被掃射

854
00:42:54,783 --> 00:42:58,579
我飛起來啦，準備開飯啦

855
00:42:58,662 --> 00:43:01,331
因為我嘴饞了

856
00:43:01,415 --> 00:43:02,541
路克天行者！

857
00:43:02,624 --> 00:43:04,543
不需要理由

858
00:43:04,626 --> 00:43:06,461
狂幹這群惡魔

859
00:43:06,545 --> 00:43:10,507
現在尿尿有點灼痛

860
00:43:10,591 --> 00:43:12,467
我們要嗨翻天

861
00:43:12,551 --> 00:43:13,886
兄弟我們要呼麻

862
00:43:13,969 --> 00:43:15,762
準備一起爽歪歪

863
00:43:15,846 --> 00:43:17,806
我們要呼麻

864
00:43:19,016 --> 00:43:21,852
爽歪歪，兄弟我們要呼麻

865
00:43:21,935 --> 00:43:23,854
準備一起爽歪歪

866
00:43:23,937 --> 00:43:26,899
我們要呼麻

867
00:43:26,982 --> 00:43:29,526
（咳嗽）

868
00:43:30,110 --> 00:43:32,321
這貨真是有夠純

869
00:43:33,572 --> 00:43:35,157
剛才的夢超狂的

870
00:43:35,240 --> 00:43:37,409
我一定是嗨到馬斯克等級了

871
00:43:41,788 --> 00:43:44,374
哇咧，靠北！

872
00:43:48,754 --> 00:43:50,756
（急診室）

873
00:43:51,548 --> 00:43:52,716
星期二？

874
00:43:53,300 --> 00:43:54,551
星期二？

875
00:43:57,763 --> 00:43:58,847
巴比？

876
00:44:01,099 --> 00:44:02,976
巴比，搞什麼？

877
00:44:04,269 --> 00:44:06,146
她死定了

878
00:44:06,230 --> 00:44:07,773
我們的女兒莎拉？

879
00:44:07,856 --> 00:44:08,941
你大概是對的

880
00:44:09,024 --> 00:44:11,777
她是悍妞，但肚子被捅試試看

881
00:44:11,860 --> 00:44:13,320
我才會死

882
00:44:13,403 --> 00:44:15,697
巴比，你早就死透透了

883
00:44:15,781 --> 00:44:19,618
這個幻覺代表我當一個爛媽媽的愧疚

884
00:44:19,701 --> 00:44:22,120
或者是我剛嗑的迷幻蘑菇

885
00:44:23,288 --> 00:44:24,623
妳死定了

886
00:44:25,249 --> 00:44:27,751
遜咖，你殺不了我

887
00:44:33,507 --> 00:44:34,550
妳死定了

888
00:44:35,300 --> 00:44:37,803
別再詭笑了！

889
00:44:37,886 --> 00:44:40,264
沒辦法，我打了肉毒

890
00:44:40,347 --> 00:44:41,515
嘿！

891
00:44:41,598 --> 00:44:44,810
這是精神病房，每個人都在詭笑

892
00:44:44,893 --> 00:44:45,894
啥米？

893
00:44:46,562 --> 00:44:47,813
怎麼會？

894
00:44:48,730 --> 00:44:50,774
請問加護病房怎麼走？

895
00:44:50,858 --> 00:44:52,442
那邊還是那邊？

896
00:44:53,151 --> 00:44:54,111
探病時間結束了

897
00:44:54,194 --> 00:44:55,988
當然了

898
00:44:57,489 --> 00:44:59,241
電視台要我澄清

899
00:44:59,324 --> 00:45:01,577
黑色星期五跟種族無關

900
00:45:01,660 --> 00:45:03,787
去跟我的黑人閨蜜班妮塔說

901
00:45:03,871 --> 00:45:07,165
她八成正在商場拿東西砸別人頭殼

902
00:45:07,249 --> 00:45:08,667
對吧，班妮塔？

903
00:45:12,546 --> 00:45:13,547
（幾個世代以來）

904
00:45:15,299 --> 00:45:16,341
（只有一個藝人）

905
00:45:16,425 --> 00:45:17,843
（閃開 比莉珍 顫慄）

906
00:45:17,926 --> 00:45:19,720
（真正敢打手槍）

907
00:45:23,807 --> 00:45:25,309
飆啊！

908
00:45:25,392 --> 00:45:26,977
兄弟，你不是麥可

909
00:45:27,060 --> 00:45:28,979
麥可有傑里卷

910
00:45:29,062 --> 00:45:31,023
你用什麼？髮膠嗎？

911
00:45:31,106 --> 00:45:34,568
大家都以為是髮膠，其實是奇異筆

912
00:45:34,651 --> 00:45:35,652
你的髮型活像起司鍋

913
00:45:36,862 --> 00:45:38,780
-麥可有一隻猴子
-我有一隻羊駝

914
00:45:40,699 --> 00:45:41,783
麥可去死啦！

915
00:45:41,867 --> 00:45:44,411
-你又不會跳舞
-我都有在練

916
00:45:52,127 --> 00:45:53,170
我可以月球漫步

917
00:45:56,256 --> 00:45:58,091
這傢伙要去哪？

918
00:46:03,305 --> 00:46:04,973
《傑曼》

919
00:46:06,975 --> 00:46:10,187
六月節TY獨家播放

920
00:46:13,273 --> 00:46:15,108
我要看盜版

921
00:46:17,027 --> 00:46:18,028
有人嗎？

922
00:46:19,404 --> 00:46:20,239
我要閃了

923
00:46:24,826 --> 00:46:26,203
（冰毒 芬太尼 嗨嗨水）

924
00:46:26,286 --> 00:46:27,287
我會想念你們

925
00:46:32,876 --> 00:46:33,961
母湯啦！

926
00:46:34,044 --> 00:46:36,755
黑人的腦，保你的命…

927
00:46:48,183 --> 00:46:50,227
-靠腰！
-傑克？

928
00:46:50,310 --> 00:46:52,187
是莎拉叫你來的？

929
00:46:52,271 --> 00:46:55,023
對啊，所以我才會來

930
00:46:55,107 --> 00:46:58,110
我不是來殺妳啦

931
00:46:58,193 --> 00:46:59,653
那你幹嘛戴手套？

932
00:47:00,654 --> 00:47:02,614
妳信不信，我…

933
00:47:02,698 --> 00:47:05,868
想在萬聖節扮成O.J.辛普森

934
00:47:05,951 --> 00:47:07,369
尺寸剛好欸

935
00:47:08,245 --> 00:47:09,663
小心！

936
00:47:09,746 --> 00:47:12,541
來真的喔，差點切到血管欸，我是說…

937
00:47:12,624 --> 00:47:13,458
救命啊！

938
00:47:17,462 --> 00:47:18,505
慘了！

939
00:47:27,931 --> 00:47:29,766
（笑氣）

940
00:47:29,850 --> 00:47:32,019
我要像宰豬一樣殺妳！

941
00:47:36,607 --> 00:47:37,774
我要…

942
00:47:38,734 --> 00:47:39,568
我要…

943
00:47:40,861 --> 00:47:42,404
好蠢的台詞

944
00:47:44,531 --> 00:47:45,949
真的欸

945
00:47:46,033 --> 00:47:48,869
你想怎樣？把我做成培根？

946
00:47:52,915 --> 00:47:54,833
我需要更好的編劇

947
00:47:54,917 --> 00:47:57,461
我笑到肋骨都在痛

948
00:47:57,544 --> 00:48:00,839
等我拿刀捅妳！

949
00:48:07,554 --> 00:48:09,806
我笑到流目油

950
00:48:09,890 --> 00:48:11,016
我得閃人

951
00:48:11,099 --> 00:48:13,477
-免得你真的殺了我
-我來囉

952
00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:16,104
天啊，我會先笑死！

953
00:48:18,565 --> 00:48:20,943
靠腰，他真的會殺死我

954
00:48:42,714 --> 00:48:45,175
我要嗑他們嗑的藥

955
00:48:46,718 --> 00:48:49,721
我要把妳做成培根，小豬仔

956
00:48:56,019 --> 00:48:59,481
不，不要

957
00:49:01,692 --> 00:49:04,945
-不好意思
-拍謝，借過

958
00:49:05,028 --> 00:49:07,406
閃邊，警察在辦案

959
00:49:07,489 --> 00:49:08,574
杜菲！

960
00:49:08,657 --> 00:49:10,450
我超愛惡搞電梯

961
00:49:12,744 --> 00:49:14,788
笑一個，你這王八蛋

962
00:49:15,497 --> 00:49:18,000
-搞屁啊
-我的變態老媽說

963
00:49:18,083 --> 00:49:20,127
永遠都要帶把槍

964
00:49:21,795 --> 00:49:22,963
-快去！
-好啦

965
00:49:23,046 --> 00:49:26,049
我要去救妳的戀愛對象

966
00:49:26,675 --> 00:49:29,511
噢，這痛苦…這折磨…

967
00:49:29,595 --> 00:49:31,763
莎拉，要是我活不了…

968
00:49:31,847 --> 00:49:34,266
拜託，別這麼想贏奧斯卡獎

969
00:49:34,349 --> 00:49:36,643
這是一部恐怖片，想都別想

970
00:49:36,727 --> 00:49:38,687
去問黛咪摩爾就知道

971
00:49:39,771 --> 00:49:41,064
不！不！

972
00:49:41,648 --> 00:49:43,483
我找到傑克了

973
00:49:46,111 --> 00:49:48,280
杜菲！搞屁啊？

974
00:49:48,363 --> 00:49:49,448
人家忍不住嘛

975
00:49:52,201 --> 00:49:54,536
只剩你跟我了，鬼臉

976
00:49:56,955 --> 00:49:58,916
一定要爆頭

977
00:49:58,999 --> 00:50:00,542
一定要爆頭

978
00:50:08,342 --> 00:50:09,176
去死吧

979
00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:12,471
去死吧，你這超級蠢貨

980
00:50:12,554 --> 00:50:13,847
聞聞…

981
00:50:13,931 --> 00:50:15,140
我的…

982
00:50:15,933 --> 00:50:17,017
手指

983
00:50:17,935 --> 00:50:19,144
天啊！

984
00:50:19,228 --> 00:50:20,812
那是什麼味道？

985
00:50:21,855 --> 00:50:23,649
我的屁眼

986
00:50:23,732 --> 00:50:25,567
去你的屁眼！暫停

987
00:50:27,861 --> 00:50:29,696
天啊，那是我的屁眼

988
00:50:30,614 --> 00:50:32,449
有任何遺言嗎？

989
00:50:32,533 --> 00:50:34,034
我要拉便便

990
00:50:38,664 --> 00:50:41,959
夭壽喔，我才不要清理那坨屎！

991
00:50:42,042 --> 00:50:42,876
我在休息

992
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:46,672
拜託，我只負責殺人，不負責打掃

993
00:50:46,755 --> 00:50:48,882
-你說啥？
-算我沒說

994
00:50:48,966 --> 00:50:51,677
喲，衝啥毀？我是修提

995
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:53,804
沒錯，又到了萬聖節馬拉松

996
00:50:53,887 --> 00:50:57,057
也是老子爽賺大錢的一天

997
00:50:57,140 --> 00:50:59,393
躺平什麼事都不做

998
00:50:59,476 --> 00:51:01,937
你們這群蠢蛋還是付錢看直播

999
00:51:02,020 --> 00:51:03,689
他們還罵我笨！

1000
00:51:03,772 --> 00:51:06,275
我要先工商一下我的贊助商

1001
00:51:07,109 --> 00:51:09,278
怨念果園蘋果酒

1002
00:51:10,612 --> 00:51:13,156
蘋果味濃到爆

1003
00:51:16,285 --> 00:51:19,204
我們想出廣告詞了！我是行銷鬼才！

1004
00:51:19,288 --> 00:51:22,374
萬聖節馬拉松少不了超殺的來賓

1005
00:51:22,457 --> 00:51:23,876
他是超紅的電玩直播主

1006
00:51:23,959 --> 00:51:26,920
熱烈歡迎凱塞納特！

1007
00:51:27,004 --> 00:51:29,047
我們要炸爆網路！

1008
00:51:35,470 --> 00:51:36,680
認真點

1009
00:51:36,763 --> 00:51:38,348
你跑來直播幹嘛？

1010
00:51:38,974 --> 00:51:40,642
你答應我要讓我演電影

1011
00:51:40,726 --> 00:51:43,395
我一直打給你，你給我搞失蹤

1012
00:51:43,478 --> 00:51:46,356
兄弟，我以為那是我孩子的起肖小媽咪

1013
00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:47,691
拍謝啦

1014
00:51:47,774 --> 00:51:49,234
說到搞消失

1015
00:51:50,152 --> 00:51:52,070
有人想跟你講話

1016
00:51:52,654 --> 00:51:55,616
-喂？
-你最喜歡哪部恐怖片？

1017
00:51:58,243 --> 00:51:59,328
母湯啦！

1018
00:52:08,253 --> 00:52:10,005
我們要炸爆網路！

1019
00:52:10,088 --> 00:52:11,298
粉絲們，衝啥毀？

1020
00:52:11,381 --> 00:52:13,091
有沒有怨念果園蘋果酒？

1021
00:52:13,175 --> 00:52:15,969
-當然有囉
-蘋果味濃到爆

1022
00:52:17,304 --> 00:52:18,555
怎樣？

1023
00:52:18,639 --> 00:52:21,725
怎樣？

1024
00:52:23,227 --> 00:52:24,978
來玩我最愛的遊戲

1025
00:52:25,062 --> 00:52:26,647
命運輪盤…

1026
00:52:26,730 --> 00:52:27,731
轉轉看！

1027
00:52:27,814 --> 00:52:28,815
（命運輪盤 軟棒打人）

1028
00:52:28,899 --> 00:52:30,859
軟棒打人遊戲！

1029
00:52:30,943 --> 00:52:32,569
我們要把軟棒拿到後面

1030
00:52:32,653 --> 00:52:34,696
把你打到靈魂出竅！

1031
00:52:34,780 --> 00:52:35,822
然後你要猜是誰幹的

1032
00:52:35,906 --> 00:52:37,866
這根本就沒道理

1033
00:52:37,950 --> 00:52:38,784
這遊戲超白爛

1034
00:52:43,747 --> 00:52:44,748
凱

1035
00:52:51,547 --> 00:52:53,006
不，不要！

1036
00:52:56,635 --> 00:53:00,639
你在直播室砍死凱塞納特

1037
00:53:01,890 --> 00:53:03,767
我們創下歷史紀錄！

1038
00:53:04,601 --> 00:53:05,602
錢滾滾來！

1039
00:53:25,289 --> 00:53:26,582
謝天謝地

1040
00:53:30,794 --> 00:53:33,130
你們早該來了

1041
00:53:33,714 --> 00:53:35,090
你完蛋了

1042
00:53:38,677 --> 00:53:39,595
別動！

1043
00:53:40,304 --> 00:53:41,722
那就是我們的嫌犯

1044
00:53:41,805 --> 00:53:44,474
外號叫“短手”

1045
00:53:44,558 --> 00:53:48,353
2001年在一棟據說鬧鬼的房子當過雜工

1046
00:53:49,563 --> 00:53:51,023
妳還有什麼沒告訴我？

1047
00:53:51,106 --> 00:53:53,108
你老婆痛恨你

1048
00:53:53,192 --> 00:53:54,860
你相信地球是平的

1049
00:53:54,943 --> 00:53:56,904
還有你投給川普三次

1050
00:53:56,987 --> 00:53:59,615
我應該投給那個女的？

1051
00:54:00,574 --> 00:54:04,369
我相信短手就是惡名昭彰的鬼臉

1052
00:54:05,913 --> 00:54:07,956
那張嘴用來幹嘛？

1053
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:09,541
別再反抗！

1054
00:54:09,625 --> 00:54:11,793
他看起來是很可疑

1055
00:54:15,339 --> 00:54:17,508
他們抓錯人了

1056
00:54:17,591 --> 00:54:19,426
妳會通靈所以才知道？

1057
00:54:19,510 --> 00:54:21,345
不，是通緝令上寫的

1058
00:54:21,428 --> 00:54:23,805
（白到像漂白水）

1059
00:54:23,889 --> 00:54:25,140
我不知道欸

1060
00:54:25,224 --> 00:54:29,311
-那傢伙是黑人
-沒有很黑啦

1061
00:54:29,394 --> 00:54:30,646
比較像肉汁那種棕色

1062
00:54:32,356 --> 00:54:33,315
揍扁他！

1063
00:54:33,982 --> 00:54:35,776
用你的神力手尻他！

1064
00:54:37,277 --> 00:54:39,988
先抓他再說，他一定幹了壞事

1065
00:54:40,906 --> 00:54:42,491
關掉隨身攝影機！

1066
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:45,410
海爾斯登小姐，歡迎回來

1067
00:54:45,494 --> 00:54:48,413
醫生，求求你幫我變年輕

1068
00:54:48,497 --> 00:54:50,207
那些嫩妹害我混不下去

1069
00:54:50,290 --> 00:54:53,418
她們只穿保鮮膜外加補光燈就能紅

1070
00:54:53,502 --> 00:54:57,881
把妳乾癟枯槁、被歲月摧殘的身體交給我

1071
00:54:57,965 --> 00:55:00,634
我會讓妳重獲新生

1072
00:55:00,717 --> 00:55:02,469
立刻安排中年白女人回春療程

1073
00:55:02,553 --> 00:55:03,762
謝啦

1074
00:55:03,846 --> 00:55:05,764
我先放個簡短影片介紹療程

1075
00:55:05,848 --> 00:55:07,558
然後就開始

1076
00:55:11,311 --> 00:55:13,981
妳是不是討厭自己又老又垮？

1077
00:55:14,898 --> 00:55:17,484
妳想變得更年輕更性感？

1078
00:55:17,568 --> 00:55:19,236
又有人想上妳？

1079
00:55:19,319 --> 00:55:22,698
只要一針就能解鎖妳的DNA

1080
00:55:22,781 --> 00:55:25,534
打造全新、更完美的妳

1081
00:55:26,243 --> 00:55:28,829
這就是懼劣

1082
00:55:29,746 --> 00:55:34,251
這不是葛妮絲派特洛蜜穴香味的爛貨吧？

1083
00:55:38,338 --> 00:55:39,173
我喜歡

1084
00:55:54,104 --> 00:55:55,606
（懼劣 注射 抽取）

1085
00:55:55,689 --> 00:55:57,566
哇咧，好多喔

1086
00:55:59,359 --> 00:56:00,569
雙重面罩

1087
00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:02,779
安全第一，對吧，醫生？

1088
00:56:05,657 --> 00:56:06,992
噢不！

1089
00:56:08,202 --> 00:56:10,078
我後悔了！

1090
00:56:10,162 --> 00:56:12,289
我要愛自己和接受自己

1091
00:56:41,235 --> 00:56:43,779
（艾普斯坦檔案 完整公開版）

1092
00:56:43,862 --> 00:56:46,323
（警告：閱讀前必須出賣靈魂）

1093
00:57:15,853 --> 00:57:17,896
糟糕，搞錯電影了

1094
00:57:20,023 --> 00:57:22,317
-你們也這麼想啦
-是你說的喔

1095
00:57:23,569 --> 00:57:25,696
《小姐好白2》，去死啦

1096
00:57:31,994 --> 00:57:33,871
（伍茲維爾地區醫院）

1097
00:57:33,954 --> 00:57:35,581
嘿，莎拉

1098
00:57:37,165 --> 00:57:38,333
星期二

1099
00:57:38,417 --> 00:57:40,377
我有想來看妳

1100
00:57:40,460 --> 00:57:42,838
很抱歉發生這一切

1101
00:57:42,921 --> 00:57:44,798
尤其是替妳取這爛名字

1102
00:57:44,882 --> 00:57:47,509
那天是塔可星期二，我又喝得爛醉

1103
00:57:47,593 --> 00:57:50,846
但是我保證會幹掉這個王八蛋！

1104
00:57:50,929 --> 00:57:52,472
沒關係，我不怪妳

1105
00:57:52,556 --> 00:57:53,599
我要去開車

1106
00:57:53,682 --> 00:57:55,893
我要帶妳去坐車！

1107
00:57:55,976 --> 00:57:58,353
我是被捅又沒聾，豬頭！

1108
00:57:58,437 --> 00:58:00,939
我要帶週二遠離這一切！

1109
00:58:02,191 --> 00:58:03,108
走吧，辛蒂

1110
00:58:04,026 --> 00:58:06,111
我也試過逃跑，但是…

1111
00:58:06,195 --> 00:58:08,655
它就像《靈病》一樣！

1112
00:58:08,739 --> 00:58:12,743
妳可能以為會切入那部電影，但太冷門了

1113
00:58:12,826 --> 00:58:16,371
劇情超扯，你搞上別人，把性病傳給他

1114
00:58:16,455 --> 00:58:18,624
然後變成裸體阿嬤纏著你

1115
00:58:18,707 --> 00:58:20,918
根本像性病傳記片

1116
00:58:21,001 --> 00:58:22,252
殺手在故意整我

1117
00:58:22,336 --> 00:58:23,837
他怎麼不殺死我們？

1118
00:58:23,921 --> 00:58:25,380
別把我拖下水

1119
00:58:25,464 --> 00:58:27,299
你還在等什麼？

1120
00:58:27,382 --> 00:58:30,469
不是啦，菜鳥，應該這樣演

1121
00:58:31,803 --> 00:58:35,057
你還在等什麼啦？

1122
00:58:35,140 --> 00:58:37,976
你還在等什麼？

1123
00:58:38,060 --> 00:58:40,646
你還在等什麼？

1124
00:58:40,729 --> 00:58:42,397
你還在等什麼？

1125
00:58:42,481 --> 00:58:44,149
天啊，真希望妳不是我媽！

1126
00:58:44,233 --> 00:58:46,527
你還在等什麼？

1127
00:58:48,445 --> 00:58:49,363
糖果人

1128
00:58:50,322 --> 00:58:51,532
糖果人

1129
00:58:52,407 --> 00:58:53,575
糖果人

1130
00:58:54,243 --> 00:58:57,246
-你確定？
-對，繼續說

1131
00:58:58,413 --> 00:58:59,540
糖果人

1132
00:59:00,791 --> 00:59:02,084
糖果人！

1133
00:59:19,810 --> 00:59:21,895
衝啥毀？你有糖果嗎？

1134
00:59:22,604 --> 00:59:25,190
-我有大麻軟糖
-好欸

1135
00:59:25,274 --> 00:59:26,692
-K粉
-讚啦

1136
00:59:26,775 --> 00:59:28,360
-魔菇巧克力
-哇咧，靠北！

1137
00:59:28,443 --> 00:59:30,445
你怎麼這麼久才出現？

1138
00:59:30,529 --> 00:59:33,448
拜託，我叫了你五次

1139
00:59:33,532 --> 00:59:35,033
兄弟，我叫到三次就出現

1140
00:59:35,117 --> 00:59:36,994
你又沒打我手機

1141
00:59:37,077 --> 00:59:40,706
幸好我剛好從牆洞聽到你在叫

1142
00:59:40,789 --> 00:59:43,417
-快點修好
-給我閉嘴

1143
00:59:43,500 --> 00:59:46,128
你得去看直腸肛門科，順便去看皮膚科

1144
00:59:46,211 --> 00:59:49,464
四十歲還長痘痘很恐怖欸

1145
00:59:49,548 --> 00:59:51,717
-我比他好看
-這邊吧

1146
00:59:51,800 --> 00:59:54,803
沒空吵架啦，我們準備嗨翻天

1147
00:59:54,887 --> 00:59:55,804
我們要開趴啦！

1148
00:59:59,391 --> 01:00:01,101
萬聖節快樂

1149
01:00:01,185 --> 01:00:02,477
要小心鬼臉喔

1150
01:00:02,561 --> 01:00:05,230
-很好，乎乾啦
-嘿

1151
01:00:05,314 --> 01:00:08,108
嘿，我喜歡，讚喔

1152
01:00:08,192 --> 01:00:09,568
你看起來不錯

1153
01:00:09,651 --> 01:00:11,320
看到你妹嗎？

1154
01:00:13,572 --> 01:00:15,449
小雷，看到黛嗎？

1155
01:00:15,532 --> 01:00:17,534
她去參加抗議後就沒看到她

1156
01:00:17,618 --> 01:00:18,827
沒有

1157
01:00:20,913 --> 01:00:24,625
小雷，我猜，你是《玩具總動員》的胡迪

1158
01:00:24,708 --> 01:00:26,793
才不是咧，他是gay

1159
01:00:26,877 --> 01:00:29,213
我是《斷背山》的傑克葛倫霍

1160
01:00:29,922 --> 01:00:32,925
“真希望知道怎麼戒掉你，但是辦不到”

1161
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:36,053
你超愛那部電影！

1162
01:00:36,136 --> 01:00:37,346
嘿，布蘭達！

1163
01:00:38,222 --> 01:00:39,723
看到我那一大袋糖果嗎？

1164
01:00:39,806 --> 01:00:42,726
有巧克力、軟糖、棒棒糖

1165
01:00:43,435 --> 01:00:44,478
它不見了

1166
01:00:44,561 --> 01:00:47,856
沒有啦，我都發給來討糖的小朋友

1167
01:00:47,940 --> 01:00:50,442
布蘭達，那是我的貨欸！

1168
01:01:02,079 --> 01:01:05,707
我超嗨的！

1169
01:01:09,878 --> 01:01:12,631
我的臉沒感覺！

1170
01:01:14,967 --> 01:01:18,804
我進入火影模式了！

1171
01:01:19,721 --> 01:01:23,559
67！67！

1172
01:01:27,354 --> 01:01:30,065
（開往伍茲維爾列車）

1173
01:01:30,148 --> 01:01:33,652
（別再禁書 除了哈利波特）

1174
01:01:48,750 --> 01:01:50,335
靠

1175
01:01:58,260 --> 01:01:59,720
她為什麼盯著我看？

1176
01:02:02,514 --> 01:02:04,474
有點詭異

1177
01:02:04,558 --> 01:02:05,851
放馬過來啊

1178
01:02:09,646 --> 01:02:11,732
喔，好吧

1179
01:02:13,901 --> 01:02:15,152
嘿嘿！

1180
01:02:21,575 --> 01:02:22,993
嘿！

1181
01:02:23,076 --> 01:02:26,622
妳知道微塑膠害死多少小海豹嗎？

1182
01:02:34,338 --> 01:02:35,214
慘了

1183
01:02:35,297 --> 01:02:37,049
我是鬼臉！

1184
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:43,430
天啊！他捅了她！

1185
01:02:43,514 --> 01:02:46,558
不是“她”！我用的是無性別的ㄊㄚ！

1186
01:02:46,642 --> 01:02:47,768
他捅了“ㄊㄚ”！

1187
01:02:47,851 --> 01:02:51,104
我都四十幾了，怎麼跟得上這一切？

1188
01:02:51,188 --> 01:02:52,272
她說得對

1189
01:02:52,356 --> 01:02:54,024
都是妳這種特權大媽

1190
01:02:54,107 --> 01:02:57,569
才讓父權體制把我們壓得喘不過氣！

1191
01:02:57,653 --> 01:03:00,280
妳現在要打種族牌？

1192
01:03:00,364 --> 01:03:02,908
-我受夠她了
-是“ㄊㄚ”，爛貨

1193
01:03:06,036 --> 01:03:09,831
讓我說清楚，我本來就是大媽！

1194
01:03:09,915 --> 01:03:11,875
靠腰，超精彩的

1195
01:03:11,959 --> 01:03:13,460
別理那些酸言酸語

1196
01:03:13,544 --> 01:03:15,796
“ㄊㄚ”不知道我們是來幫“ㄊㄚ”

1197
01:03:15,879 --> 01:03:20,300
有毒男子氣概和男人說教幫不了人！

1198
01:03:20,384 --> 01:03:22,219
我的男子氣概怎麼會有毒？

1199
01:03:22,302 --> 01:03:24,012
我愛女人和體育

1200
01:03:24,721 --> 01:03:26,849
只要別混在一起，過來，賤貨

1201
01:03:27,808 --> 01:03:28,642
換我！

1202
01:03:28,725 --> 01:03:30,185
-我下一個
-“ㄊㄚ”吃我這一刀！

1203
01:03:30,269 --> 01:03:32,354
-讓我捅死“ㄊㄚ”
-下一個換我

1204
01:03:32,437 --> 01:03:33,397
-去“ㄊㄚ”的
-噢靠

1205
01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:34,314
吃我一刀

1206
01:03:37,985 --> 01:03:40,195
都怪男權圈

1207
01:03:44,616 --> 01:03:46,785
-修提舅舅
-衝啥毀？

1208
01:03:46,869 --> 01:03:48,412
我能問你一件事嗎？

1209
01:03:48,954 --> 01:03:50,205
好啊，問吧

1210
01:03:51,290 --> 01:03:53,250
是關於，你瞭的…

1211
01:03:53,333 --> 01:03:54,877
怎麼幫女生口交

1212
01:03:55,586 --> 01:03:56,879
你是說舔鮑嗎？

1213
01:03:56,962 --> 01:03:59,631
超尬的，但對啦

1214
01:03:59,715 --> 01:04:02,593
別像個14歲的白妞講話

1215
01:04:02,676 --> 01:04:04,261
你就會學到東西

1216
01:04:04,344 --> 01:04:05,721
好吧，聽好了

1217
01:04:05,804 --> 01:04:09,016
你要先掰開她們的大腿，掰得開開的

1218
01:04:09,099 --> 01:04:10,767
然後你要用手指

1219
01:04:10,851 --> 01:04:13,729
有時候要用兩根，像這樣

1220
01:04:14,771 --> 01:04:16,815
整個弄進去以後…

1221
01:04:17,608 --> 01:04:19,067
就得用舌頭了

1222
01:04:19,151 --> 01:04:20,527
你不能害怕

1223
01:04:23,739 --> 01:04:25,324
對啦，用力舔

1224
01:04:25,407 --> 01:04:27,242
不對，你舔得太快了

1225
01:04:28,327 --> 01:04:29,411
你是蜥蜴嗎？

1226
01:04:29,494 --> 01:04:31,580
你得輕輕舔，像是在說話

1227
01:04:31,663 --> 01:04:34,833
-“嗨，小東西，你好嗎？”
-嘿，小東西

1228
01:04:35,584 --> 01:04:36,418
砰！

1229
01:04:36,502 --> 01:04:38,337
就像捲大麻煙

1230
01:04:38,420 --> 01:04:40,214
外甥啊，現在

1231
01:04:40,297 --> 01:04:41,715
只要…

1232
01:04:43,884 --> 01:04:45,385
點燃它

1233
01:04:46,094 --> 01:04:47,554
瞭嗎？

1234
01:04:47,638 --> 01:04:48,931
好啦

1235
01:04:49,014 --> 01:04:52,684
你想學舔菊花就去問你媽

1236
01:04:54,978 --> 01:04:57,189
你讓我好舒服喔

1237
01:04:59,066 --> 01:05:00,234
爽欸

1238
01:05:00,317 --> 01:05:01,944
艾兒

1239
01:05:02,027 --> 01:05:03,487
我想試一招

1240
01:05:03,570 --> 01:05:05,781
我以為你死都不會讓我爆你菊花

1241
01:05:05,864 --> 01:05:07,491
啥米？不是啦

1242
01:05:07,574 --> 01:05:09,034
放輕鬆

1243
01:05:09,117 --> 01:05:10,661
我只想品嚐妳

1244
01:05:13,205 --> 01:05:14,498
好喔

1245
01:05:15,874 --> 01:05:17,543
該吃飯囉

1246
01:05:17,626 --> 01:05:20,087
好欸，寶貝過來

1247
01:05:23,131 --> 01:05:25,509
小心喔，我的小貓咪很兇喔

1248
01:05:27,344 --> 01:05:29,555
是超兇的，好吧

1249
01:05:29,638 --> 01:05:32,349
把你打到想要更多，爽啦！

1250
01:05:37,229 --> 01:05:40,482
你比戴洛更會舔

1251
01:05:41,733 --> 01:05:44,194
給我回去！繼續舔！

1252
01:05:44,278 --> 01:05:46,613
爽啦！用力舔！

1253
01:05:47,781 --> 01:05:49,074
舔爆她

1254
01:05:50,784 --> 01:05:53,996
歐買尬！

1255
01:05:56,331 --> 01:05:58,000
就像捲大麻煙

1256
01:05:59,042 --> 01:06:01,044
現在只要點燃它

1257
01:06:05,382 --> 01:06:06,633
艾兒！

1258
01:06:09,094 --> 01:06:10,137
搞什麼東東？

1259
01:06:10,220 --> 01:06:12,931
嘿，聽說這裡有萬聖趴

1260
01:06:13,557 --> 01:06:14,892
你聽說的？

1261
01:06:14,975 --> 01:06:18,437
我們來喝酒、放爛歌、當個做半套的gay

1262
01:06:19,271 --> 01:06:20,480
幹嘛不做全套？

1263
01:06:21,315 --> 01:06:22,274
我能幫忙嗎？

1264
01:06:22,357 --> 01:06:24,526
你們只要邀請我們進去

1265
01:06:24,610 --> 01:06:26,111
你們為什麼需要邀請？

1266
01:06:26,195 --> 01:06:28,363
白人老是不請自來

1267
01:06:28,447 --> 01:06:30,365
還帶著超難吃的砂鍋燉菜

1268
01:06:30,449 --> 01:06:32,743
淡到像白開水，你們最好用點調味料

1269
01:06:33,952 --> 01:06:35,162
她的腳怎麼那麼髒？

1270
01:06:35,245 --> 01:06:39,333
好像在A片片場走一整天
腳趾像大腸包小腸

1271
01:06:40,250 --> 01:06:41,084
哇咧，靠北！

1272
01:06:41,168 --> 01:06:43,670
你們來錯地方了，你們是三K黨？

1273
01:06:44,796 --> 01:06:45,881
不是

1274
01:06:45,964 --> 01:06:48,800
我們相信音樂和平等

1275
01:06:48,884 --> 01:06:50,135
讓我們秀一下

1276
01:06:50,219 --> 01:06:51,386
不用了

1277
01:06:52,262 --> 01:06:54,139
咱們一路往上爬啊

1278
01:06:54,848 --> 01:06:57,267
搬去東區啦

1279
01:06:58,560 --> 01:07:02,898
住進高樓大廈的頂級公寓啊

1280
01:07:02,981 --> 01:07:04,566
咱們一路往上衝啊

1281
01:07:04,650 --> 01:07:06,568
天才老爹被洗白了？

1282
01:07:06,652 --> 01:07:08,737
小葳肯定氣到在墳墓裡翻身

1283
01:07:08,820 --> 01:07:11,698
他們不能這樣魔改黑人國歌啦

1284
01:07:11,782 --> 01:07:14,535
咱們終於吃到一口派啦

1285
01:07:19,081 --> 01:07:20,541
咘！

1286
01:07:20,624 --> 01:07:22,459
-你們遜斃了！
-快滾吧！

1287
01:07:22,543 --> 01:07:24,044
我們練了很久欸！

1288
01:07:24,127 --> 01:07:26,046
-快滾吧！
-沒空聽那種蠢歌！

1289
01:07:26,129 --> 01:07:28,048
你們怎麼不去兄弟會趴

1290
01:07:28,131 --> 01:07:29,758
喝到斷片

1291
01:07:29,842 --> 01:07:31,260
醒來屁股還在痛

1292
01:07:31,343 --> 01:07:33,595
不知道哪個牛仔哥對自己幹了什麼？

1293
01:07:33,679 --> 01:07:34,930
對啊！啥米？

1294
01:07:35,013 --> 01:07:36,223
好吧

1295
01:07:36,306 --> 01:07:38,141
我們就不打擾你們了

1296
01:07:38,225 --> 01:07:42,187
但我們會慢慢走，以免你們改變主意

1297
01:07:44,231 --> 01:07:46,066
-改變主意了嗎？
-沒有

1298
01:07:46,149 --> 01:07:47,150
想都別想

1299
01:07:47,234 --> 01:07:48,527
現在呢？

1300
01:07:48,610 --> 01:07:50,320
-才沒有
-沒有

1301
01:07:50,404 --> 01:07:51,488
-真假？
-還是沒有

1302
01:07:51,572 --> 01:07:52,823
-絕對沒有
-繼續走吧

1303
01:07:52,906 --> 01:07:54,741
-滾吧
-走吧，莎拉

1304
01:07:54,825 --> 01:07:57,369
臭白佬越來越搞怪了

1305
01:07:59,830 --> 01:08:02,249
我好像看到打開的窗戶

1306
01:08:02,332 --> 01:08:03,500
那扇窗戶關住了

1307
01:08:03,584 --> 01:08:04,793
看我的

1308
01:08:11,341 --> 01:08:12,467
超威的

1309
01:08:12,551 --> 01:08:14,136
天啊，有夠北七

1310
01:08:20,934 --> 01:08:21,768
嘿

1311
01:08:21,852 --> 01:08:25,104
星期二，妳回來了！

1312
01:08:25,189 --> 01:08:27,149
對啊，我忘了吸入器

1313
01:08:27,232 --> 01:08:30,234
老實說，吸入器是影史最白爛的情節裝置

1314
01:08:30,319 --> 01:08:31,944
對啊，應該用電子煙

1315
01:08:32,029 --> 01:08:34,531
但來都來了，好好享受吧

1316
01:08:34,615 --> 01:08:37,033
酒精氣泡水在哪？

1317
01:08:41,662 --> 01:08:43,497
-莎拉？
-哈囉

1318
01:08:43,582 --> 01:08:46,919
馬上帶妳妹妹離開，好嗎？

1319
01:08:47,002 --> 01:08:49,796
我是個大人，母親

1320
01:08:49,880 --> 01:08:51,756
不必聽妳的

1321
01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:54,801
那是妳的變態父親大開殺戒的房子

1322
01:08:54,885 --> 01:08:56,553
有人想讓妳去

1323
01:08:56,636 --> 01:08:58,514
這就代表…

1324
01:08:58,596 --> 01:09:01,265
有人想讓我去

1325
01:09:01,350 --> 01:09:02,935
天啊，這跟妳無關！

1326
01:09:03,018 --> 01:09:04,185
妳幹嘛要大叫？

1327
01:09:04,269 --> 01:09:06,939
因為攝影機離我超遠的！

1328
01:09:07,481 --> 01:09:10,484
等等，妳在追蹤我的手機？

1329
01:09:10,567 --> 01:09:12,694
訊號不好，對啊

1330
01:09:18,742 --> 01:09:20,743
生日快樂！

1331
01:09:21,453 --> 01:09:23,622
嘿，那是我的車！

1332
01:09:27,376 --> 01:09:28,919
搞屁啊？

1333
01:09:29,002 --> 01:09:30,295
艾兒！

1334
01:09:31,255 --> 01:09:32,589
對不起啦！

1335
01:09:32,673 --> 01:09:34,966
我以為應該抽鮑

1336
01:09:35,759 --> 01:09:37,010
該死

1337
01:09:40,848 --> 01:09:43,267
真假？要搞《自由之心》那套？

1338
01:09:43,350 --> 01:09:46,353
喂喂喂，我沒看過那部電影

1339
01:09:46,435 --> 01:09:48,939
只是在工具棚找到這玩意，老天

1340
01:09:55,362 --> 01:09:56,947
真是夠了！

1341
01:09:57,030 --> 01:09:58,240
那樣更糟糕

1342
01:10:00,200 --> 01:10:01,785
我不是故意的

1343
01:10:01,869 --> 01:10:03,787
我最棒的受害者是黑人

1344
01:10:07,374 --> 01:10:10,043
又一個黑人兄弟死於槍枝暴力

1345
01:10:10,961 --> 01:10:13,338
種族歧視還是個問題

1346
01:10:13,422 --> 01:10:17,217
這麼說不公平，恐怖片的黑人都嘛先死

1347
01:10:20,762 --> 01:10:21,680
靠腰！

1348
01:10:21,763 --> 01:10:24,850
這是《黎明死線》的全新境界

1349
01:10:25,475 --> 01:10:26,351
是啊

1350
01:10:27,811 --> 01:10:28,979
幹掉他們

1351
01:10:29,646 --> 01:10:31,648
給我滾開

1352
01:10:34,693 --> 01:10:36,403
你好，修提

1353
01:10:36,486 --> 01:10:38,739
咕咕！抓住他！

1354
01:10:40,324 --> 01:10:44,578
整到你這蠢貨了，你會嗨到爆

1355
01:10:47,581 --> 01:10:48,832
爽啦！

1356
01:10:48,916 --> 01:10:52,127
哇咧，靠北！

1357
01:10:53,378 --> 01:10:55,672
兄弟，你幹嘛倒著跑？

1358
01:10:55,756 --> 01:10:58,091
阿災，不是我，凸槌了

1359
01:10:58,175 --> 01:11:00,219
你把遙控器拿反了！

1360
01:11:00,302 --> 01:11:02,554
你太嗨了

1361
01:11:02,638 --> 01:11:04,097
-開打吧，遜咖
-好喔

1362
01:11:09,645 --> 01:11:10,646
打錯人了

1363
01:11:11,522 --> 01:11:12,523
黑人的命也是命！

1364
01:11:12,606 --> 01:11:14,024
你不能死啊，修提！

1365
01:11:14,107 --> 01:11:15,234
天啊，我需要你…

1366
01:11:15,317 --> 01:11:17,152
-怎麼回事？
-傑克！

1367
01:11:17,236 --> 01:11:19,821
幸好你來了！你去哪了？

1368
01:11:19,905 --> 01:11:21,365
鬼臉剛才在這裡！

1369
01:11:21,448 --> 01:11:23,742
我只是出去透透氣

1370
01:11:23,825 --> 01:11:24,743
別動！

1371
01:11:25,744 --> 01:11:28,038
你們其中一個是殺手

1372
01:11:28,664 --> 01:11:29,665
艾兒

1373
01:11:30,207 --> 01:11:32,209
妳的手怎麼會有血？

1374
01:11:34,461 --> 01:11:36,171
我在外面發現布萊德

1375
01:11:36,255 --> 01:11:37,673
她是殺手！

1376
01:11:37,756 --> 01:11:39,883
我不是殺手好嗎？

1377
01:11:39,967 --> 01:11:43,178
我也不是性開放，我是處女

1378
01:11:43,262 --> 01:11:45,848
不可能，妳搞過每個男生

1379
01:11:45,931 --> 01:11:47,349
去妳的！

1380
01:11:49,726 --> 01:11:51,520
肛交不算

1381
01:11:54,231 --> 01:11:55,357
靠，她射死艾希頓

1382
01:11:55,440 --> 01:11:58,944
歡迎來到第三幕，蠢蛋們

1383
01:12:00,529 --> 01:12:01,363
啥米？

1384
01:12:02,489 --> 01:12:04,074
那是什麼意思？

1385
01:12:05,075 --> 01:12:07,202
殺手要大開殺戒啦

1386
01:12:08,370 --> 01:12:10,956
我還是不瞭，但我們應該…

1387
01:12:11,039 --> 01:12:12,207
-快跑！
-快跑！

1388
01:12:27,931 --> 01:12:28,891
辛蒂！

1389
01:12:29,808 --> 01:12:30,642
布蘭達

1390
01:12:30,726 --> 01:12:34,313
辛蒂，他們在開槍！這些屁孩瘋了！

1391
01:12:34,396 --> 01:12:38,525
我都怪電玩，不是酗酒或是缺乏家長管教

1392
01:12:38,609 --> 01:12:39,860
妳會需要這個

1393
01:12:39,943 --> 01:12:42,154
妳有黑色款、更大的嗎？

1394
01:12:42,237 --> 01:12:43,822
喔，搞錯了

1395
01:12:44,907 --> 01:12:45,741
拿去

1396
01:12:45,824 --> 01:12:47,618
妳是誰啊，女殺神？

1397
01:12:47,701 --> 01:12:50,204
我想說《復仇芭蕾》，但沒人看那爛電影

1398
01:12:51,288 --> 01:12:52,206
上吧

1399
01:12:52,289 --> 01:12:53,665
好吧

1400
01:12:56,502 --> 01:12:58,670
救命！他拿刀捅我！

1401
01:12:58,754 --> 01:13:01,548
我不是裝的，拜託，救命！

1402
01:13:01,632 --> 01:13:02,674
妳覺得呢？

1403
01:13:03,634 --> 01:13:05,135
我覺得德瑞克輸給肯卓克

1404
01:13:05,219 --> 01:13:08,347
我還是喜歡德瑞克，但他被告是怎樣？

1405
01:13:08,430 --> 01:13:10,224
那真的是賤招欸

1406
01:13:10,307 --> 01:13:12,643
我是說這件事啦

1407
01:13:12,726 --> 01:13:14,478
那件事？絕對是陷阱

1408
01:13:14,561 --> 01:13:16,855
她不知道我們經歷過這一切

1409
01:13:17,648 --> 01:13:18,857
布蘭達！

1410
01:13:19,691 --> 01:13:20,859
布蘭達！

1411
01:13:20,943 --> 01:13:23,278
辛蒂！很痛欸！

1412
01:13:24,363 --> 01:13:26,740
-我會活下去嗎？
-應該不會

1413
01:13:26,823 --> 01:13:29,660
天啊，辛蒂，天啊

1414
01:13:29,743 --> 01:13:31,745
賤人，我還沒死啦！

1415
01:13:32,329 --> 01:13:34,122
拍謝，對不起

1416
01:13:34,206 --> 01:13:38,043
妳要進去搞定這件事

1417
01:13:38,126 --> 01:13:39,211
為了我，辛蒂

1418
01:13:39,294 --> 01:13:41,463
為了妳，我什麼都會做，布蘭達

1419
01:13:46,969 --> 01:13:49,179
讚啦！她中計了

1420
01:13:49,263 --> 01:13:51,974
番茄醬假血的老招屢試不爽

1421
01:13:52,057 --> 01:13:55,853
那笨妞以為我會進去就是瘋了

1422
01:13:59,481 --> 01:14:00,732
殺手們，聽好了！

1423
01:14:01,525 --> 01:14:05,028
給你們五秒現身

1424
01:14:18,000 --> 01:14:19,293
-修提！
-臭白妞！

1425
01:14:20,043 --> 01:14:22,171
妳射爛我最愛的水煙筒

1426
01:14:22,254 --> 01:14:24,464
去找自己的衣櫥！

1427
01:14:24,548 --> 01:14:25,632
拍謝啦

1428
01:14:34,975 --> 01:14:36,810
哈囉，辛蒂

1429
01:14:37,644 --> 01:14:38,937
哈囉

1430
01:14:39,021 --> 01:14:42,983
看來妳忘了恐怖片求生第一條法則

1431
01:14:43,066 --> 01:14:45,611
絕對不能接電話！

1432
01:14:46,653 --> 01:14:50,157
我以為第一條法則是不能相信戀愛對象

1433
01:14:51,825 --> 01:14:52,659
真的嗎？

1434
01:14:52,743 --> 01:14:55,120
我改變法則了，妳能拿我怎樣？

1435
01:14:55,954 --> 01:14:59,249
全新法則：去死吧

1436
01:14:59,333 --> 01:15:00,167
等等！

1437
01:15:02,294 --> 01:15:04,421
妳幹嘛這麼討厭衣櫥？

1438
01:15:04,505 --> 01:15:06,089
我叫你出來

1439
01:15:06,173 --> 01:15:08,133
對啦，但我不想中槍！

1440
01:15:08,217 --> 01:15:09,676
很諷刺，對吧？

1441
01:15:10,636 --> 01:15:12,346
妳沒射中我，蠢妞

1442
01:15:12,888 --> 01:15:14,681
天啊，是鬼臉！

1443
01:15:14,765 --> 01:15:15,849
我說得超假掰

1444
01:15:17,601 --> 01:15:20,521
妳以為妳是殺神喔，好像我殺了妳的狗？

1445
01:15:25,567 --> 01:15:27,486
那隻狗只是隱喻

1446
01:15:27,569 --> 01:15:29,404
代表他痛失愛妻啦！

1447
01:15:29,488 --> 01:15:30,614
妳確定不是寓言？

1448
01:15:42,459 --> 01:15:43,877
讓我們開始吧

1449
01:16:04,857 --> 01:16:07,025
那個女替身超神的

1450
01:16:47,191 --> 01:16:48,442
吃屌吧

1451
01:16:59,036 --> 01:17:01,121
開槍射他，莎拉，做個了結

1452
01:17:01,205 --> 01:17:02,956
別教我怎麼做！

1453
01:17:03,040 --> 01:17:08,128
這不是解決我們母女問題的好時機，但…

1454
01:17:08,212 --> 01:17:11,465
莎拉，很抱歉，我是個爛媽媽

1455
01:17:11,548 --> 01:17:13,967
我甚至不了解妳妹星期三…

1456
01:17:14,051 --> 01:17:15,344
星期二

1457
01:17:15,427 --> 01:17:18,430
要改名才不會侵犯著作權

1458
01:17:18,514 --> 01:17:19,765
但我訓練過妳

1459
01:17:20,516 --> 01:17:23,185
來吧，寶貝，殺了他

1460
01:17:23,936 --> 01:17:25,312
-莎拉？
-傑克！

1461
01:17:25,395 --> 01:17:26,772
-莎拉！
-傑克！

1462
01:17:26,855 --> 01:17:28,273
-莎拉！
-傑克！

1463
01:17:28,357 --> 01:17:29,441
-莎拉！
-傑克！

1464
01:17:29,525 --> 01:17:30,442
-莎拉！
-傑克！

1465
01:17:30,526 --> 01:17:31,360
-莎拉！
-傑克！

1466
01:17:31,443 --> 01:17:32,444
謝天謝地妳沒事

1467
01:17:32,528 --> 01:17:34,571
因為我真的超想親手殺了妳！

1468
01:17:35,155 --> 01:17:36,740
乖乖被捅吧，寶貝

1469
01:17:38,492 --> 01:17:40,452
我就說我才是主角

1470
01:17:40,536 --> 01:17:42,246
不，莎拉

1471
01:17:43,664 --> 01:17:45,249
妳只是誘餌

1472
01:17:45,832 --> 01:17:47,167
她才是主角

1473
01:17:47,876 --> 01:17:48,752
靠！

1474
01:17:48,836 --> 01:17:51,421
拍謝啦，又被我說中了

1475
01:17:51,505 --> 01:17:53,549
妳應該聽杜菲的話

1476
01:17:53,632 --> 01:17:55,801
戀愛對象

1477
01:17:55,884 --> 01:17:58,262
一切都太明顯了

1478
01:17:58,345 --> 01:18:01,849
讓妳覺得沒那麼明顯，很燒腦吧

1479
01:18:01,932 --> 01:18:02,766
對欸

1480
01:18:02,850 --> 01:18:04,768
那才是劇情轉折！

1481
01:18:04,852 --> 01:18:06,228
給我去廚房，去啊！

1482
01:18:06,311 --> 01:18:07,771
嘿，快點！

1483
01:18:07,855 --> 01:18:09,439
好，聽好了

1484
01:18:10,357 --> 01:18:15,070
第一集後就沒有好看的《驚聲奸笑》電影

1485
01:18:15,153 --> 01:18:18,782
我們要拯救這系列，把特別嘉賓找來

1486
01:18:20,826 --> 01:18:23,412
好萊塢沒有梗了！

1487
01:18:23,495 --> 01:18:26,123
不然幹嘛拍全新的《驚聲尖笑》？

1488
01:18:26,206 --> 01:18:28,667
只有新角色不管用，對吧？

1489
01:18:28,750 --> 01:18:31,295
我們需要經典角色

1490
01:18:31,378 --> 01:18:33,046
除了辛蒂以外

1491
01:18:33,130 --> 01:18:36,758
一定要有超嗆的黑人跟班布蘭達

1492
01:18:36,842 --> 01:18:40,053
你說“黑人”的“黑”不必加重語氣吧

1493
01:18:40,137 --> 01:18:42,472
布蘭達！妳沒中槍？

1494
01:18:43,182 --> 01:18:44,016
我有嗎？

1495
01:18:44,933 --> 01:18:48,645
等等，有欸！上帝把我治好惹！

1496
01:18:48,729 --> 01:18:50,355
祂超神的

1497
01:18:50,439 --> 01:18:51,732
-別跳舞！
-好嗨喔！

1498
01:18:51,815 --> 01:18:53,233
別跳舞！大家別跳舞！

1499
01:18:53,317 --> 01:18:54,234
超嗨的！

1500
01:18:55,569 --> 01:18:58,071
媽！不！

1501
01:18:58,989 --> 01:19:00,449
妳叫我“媽”欸

1502
01:19:01,742 --> 01:19:03,368
妳在乎我

1503
01:19:03,452 --> 01:19:06,580
沒那麼誇張啦，但…對啦

1504
01:19:06,663 --> 01:19:07,664
把星期二帶來

1505
01:19:07,748 --> 01:19:09,333
美女們

1506
01:19:09,416 --> 01:19:11,627
該來喬屍體了

1507
01:19:11,710 --> 01:19:14,087
快點，快點

1508
01:19:14,171 --> 01:19:16,006
拜託別這麼做！

1509
01:19:16,089 --> 01:19:17,508
搞屁啊？你們是誰？

1510
01:19:17,591 --> 01:19:21,345
我們是要接管這系列的狠角色

1511
01:19:21,428 --> 01:19:22,429
是嗎？

1512
01:19:22,513 --> 01:19:24,681
好吧！歐買尬

1513
01:19:24,765 --> 01:19:27,226
那不是計畫喔

1514
01:19:27,309 --> 01:19:29,311
天啊，靠北

1515
01:19:29,895 --> 01:19:31,396
這也不是

1516
01:19:35,192 --> 01:19:36,610
等等，小雷也有一個欸！

1517
01:19:36,693 --> 01:19:39,029
哇！讚啦！

1518
01:19:40,489 --> 01:19:42,366
安東尼安德森！

1519
01:19:42,449 --> 01:19:43,825
沒錯

1520
01:19:43,909 --> 01:19:46,411
我還帶來我的好麻吉凱文哈特

1521
01:19:53,544 --> 01:19:54,795
-啥米？
-俠客？

1522
01:19:54,878 --> 01:19:58,090
沒錯，我跪著跟凱文一樣矮

1523
01:19:58,173 --> 01:19:59,466
凱文不參一腳

1524
01:19:59,550 --> 01:20:02,845
凱文不參一腳？那矮冬瓜什麼都演欸

1525
01:20:02,928 --> 01:20:03,804
那倒是

1526
01:20:03,887 --> 01:20:07,349
等等，還有更多驚喜

1527
01:20:08,141 --> 01:20:10,185
沒想到吧…

1528
01:20:10,269 --> 01:20:11,436
蠢妞們！

1529
01:20:11,520 --> 01:20:13,146
小雷？修提？

1530
01:20:13,230 --> 01:20:17,484
妳們沒看錯，四個黑人殺手

1531
01:20:17,568 --> 01:20:19,319
-好欸
-我們正在創造歷史

1532
01:20:19,403 --> 01:20:22,531
這才是黑人卓越的全新標竿

1533
01:20:23,365 --> 01:20:24,867
你們為什麼要這麼做？

1534
01:20:24,950 --> 01:20:26,535
問題是

1535
01:20:26,618 --> 01:20:28,787
妳們怎麼敢不找我們就拍續集？

1536
01:20:28,871 --> 01:20:29,705
對啊！

1537
01:20:29,788 --> 01:20:31,832
片商想要換掉這些黑人兄弟

1538
01:20:31,915 --> 01:20:33,417
我也在場

1539
01:20:34,042 --> 01:20:36,044
-那是真的
-那我咧？

1540
01:20:36,128 --> 01:20:39,965
-你怎樣？
-你只在第四集演過一場戲

1541
01:20:40,048 --> 01:20:42,551
但我逼菲爾醫生那爛咖切斷他的腿

1542
01:20:42,634 --> 01:20:45,012
-他發瘋了
-他變得很怪

1543
01:20:45,095 --> 01:20:47,014
看出她們想幹嘛嗎？

1544
01:20:47,097 --> 01:20:49,016
她們想要挑撥我們

1545
01:20:49,099 --> 01:20:51,727
讓我們這群老黑自相殘殺

1546
01:20:51,810 --> 01:20:52,978
沒錯！

1547
01:20:53,061 --> 01:20:55,939
喲，俠客，我真替你驕傲

1548
01:20:56,023 --> 01:20:58,483
你退休後當體育評論員

1549
01:20:58,567 --> 01:21:00,277
真的超成功

1550
01:21:00,360 --> 01:21:04,031
我也超愛《大Podcast》，超愛的！

1551
01:21:04,114 --> 01:21:06,200
雖然我聽不懂你在講三小

1552
01:21:06,283 --> 01:21:07,534
你講話都大舌頭

1553
01:21:11,079 --> 01:21:11,914
“…柯比”

1554
01:21:11,997 --> 01:21:13,290
夠了喔

1555
01:21:13,373 --> 01:21:16,960
我想說的是，我超愛你的節目

1556
01:21:17,836 --> 01:21:20,506
但《精靈也瘋狂》有夠難看

1557
01:21:20,589 --> 01:21:21,965
去你的！

1558
01:21:22,049 --> 01:21:22,883
踢爆他！

1559
01:21:22,966 --> 01:21:25,677
-給我過來
-我也討厭那部電影

1560
01:21:25,761 --> 01:21:29,932
你幹嘛離開湖人隊？
你和柯比本來可以拿九冠耶！

1561
01:21:30,015 --> 01:21:31,433
那混蛋把我交易掉！

1562
01:21:31,517 --> 01:21:32,726
俠客！

1563
01:21:32,809 --> 01:21:35,395
你…穿…幾…號…鞋？

1564
01:21:35,479 --> 01:21:36,522
22號

1565
01:21:36,605 --> 01:21:39,191
你…的…屌…有…多…大？

1566
01:21:39,274 --> 01:21:40,484
喂，沒禮貌！

1567
01:21:40,567 --> 01:21:42,361
-暫停
-你在練啥肖話？

1568
01:21:42,444 --> 01:21:45,155
-我是為了文化
-什麼文化？

1569
01:21:45,239 --> 01:21:47,199
文化俱樂部啊

1570
01:21:47,282 --> 01:21:49,493
小雷，我們在殺人，專心

1571
01:21:49,576 --> 01:21:51,578
好啦，繼續演

1572
01:21:51,662 --> 01:21:54,581
安仔，安啦，全家就是你家

1573
01:21:54,665 --> 01:21:57,668
安仔，你們超猛的

1574
01:21:57,751 --> 01:22:01,463
-《黑人當道》入圍八次艾美獎
-好兄弟

1575
01:22:01,547 --> 01:22:04,258
影集只入圍五次啦

1576
01:22:04,341 --> 01:22:06,134
我本人入圍八次

1577
01:22:06,218 --> 01:22:07,094
哇！

1578
01:22:07,177 --> 01:22:09,388
-感恩
-正港演員！

1579
01:22:09,471 --> 01:22:12,099
真假？入圍八次

1580
01:22:12,182 --> 01:22:14,309
-超威的
-是啊

1581
01:22:16,228 --> 01:22:17,980
-但你沒贏過
-啥米？

1582
01:22:20,065 --> 01:22:23,318
-吾兒，汝亦焉？
-別說文言文

1583
01:22:23,402 --> 01:22:26,405
誰叫你演《驚聲尖笑3、4》！

1584
01:22:26,488 --> 01:22:28,615
我不知道你們全家都被炒了！

1585
01:22:28,699 --> 01:22:33,370
誰叫《黑人當道》抄襲《好時光》！

1586
01:22:33,453 --> 01:22:36,039
你們在華納兄弟電視網！

1587
01:22:36,707 --> 01:22:39,209
沒人看那爛影集！

1588
01:22:40,544 --> 01:22:42,171
不不不

1589
01:22:42,254 --> 01:22:44,298
妳…還有妳…

1590
01:22:44,381 --> 01:22:47,384
丟下我們去演《驚聲尖笑3、4》

1591
01:22:47,467 --> 01:22:50,095
拍謝啦，他們給我超多片酬

1592
01:22:50,179 --> 01:22:53,849
我買了新房、新車和不會癢的假髮

1593
01:22:54,975 --> 01:22:56,268
那妳呢？

1594
01:22:57,352 --> 01:23:01,899
我有機會和無人能比的查理辛合作

1595
01:23:03,609 --> 01:23:05,319
讚喔，他是個傳奇

1596
01:23:05,402 --> 01:23:07,654
床上功夫也超厲害

1597
01:23:07,738 --> 01:23:09,865
他睡過四萬七千個女人

1598
01:23:09,948 --> 01:23:12,492
其中有一千個是男的

1599
01:23:12,576 --> 01:23:13,827
真幸運

1600
01:23:14,786 --> 01:23:17,289
等等，你們要殺我們了？

1601
01:23:18,916 --> 01:23:20,083
沒啦

1602
01:23:20,834 --> 01:23:23,545
《月光光新慌慌》不能沒有潔美李寇蒂斯

1603
01:23:23,629 --> 01:23:25,380
《驚聲尖叫》也不能沒有妮芙坎貝爾

1604
01:23:25,464 --> 01:23:26,924
除了《驚聲尖叫6》

1605
01:23:27,007 --> 01:23:29,551
你們是怎麼辦到的？

1606
01:23:29,635 --> 01:23:30,969
辛蒂！

1607
01:23:31,053 --> 01:23:33,889
妳知道韋恩斯家族有多少人嗎？

1608
01:23:33,972 --> 01:23:36,016
-幾十億！
-幾十億！

1609
01:23:36,099 --> 01:23:39,394
我只是很高興老班底又聚在一起

1610
01:23:40,062 --> 01:23:42,064
來，手放中間，數到三

1611
01:23:42,147 --> 01:23:43,482
核心四人組

1612
01:23:43,565 --> 01:23:46,652
-蝦毀？超遜的
-母湯啦，太老套了

1613
01:23:47,569 --> 01:23:50,864
不如叫“不安分的青春”？

1614
01:23:50,948 --> 01:23:54,159
對啊，或是“老氣與美麗”

1615
01:23:54,243 --> 01:23:56,328
或是“萌妹與老屁股”

1616
01:23:56,411 --> 01:23:59,248
或是“辣妹與老年癡呆”

1617
01:24:01,583 --> 01:24:02,459
（汽油）

1618
01:24:05,379 --> 01:24:07,381
我們是來接棒這系列欸！

1619
01:24:07,464 --> 01:24:10,843
沒錯，你們都七十歲了！

1620
01:24:10,926 --> 01:24:12,636
別灑進我的嘴巴！

1621
01:24:15,013 --> 01:24:17,474
我剛從捷運拖過來

1622
01:24:17,558 --> 01:24:18,809
背超痛的

1623
01:24:19,935 --> 01:24:22,771
大夥兒，她們已經掛了

1624
01:24:22,855 --> 01:24:25,190
才怪！小屁孩每次都會回鍋

1625
01:24:25,274 --> 01:24:27,109
不，這次休想

1626
01:24:27,192 --> 01:24:29,528
沒錯，小雷，快啊

1627
01:24:29,611 --> 01:24:31,113
誰有火柴？

1628
01:24:31,196 --> 01:24:35,367
有了！新世代演員個屁！

1629
01:24:41,248 --> 01:24:42,416
莎拉，怎麼辦？

1630
01:24:42,499 --> 01:24:44,459
吹啊！用力吹！

1631
01:24:52,509 --> 01:24:53,510
好欸

1632
01:24:55,721 --> 01:24:58,098
等等…我們應該內疚嗎？

1633
01:24:58,182 --> 01:24:59,683
她們是我們的孩子

1634
01:24:59,766 --> 01:25:01,476
-那些屁孩去死！
-對啊！

1635
01:25:01,560 --> 01:25:03,604
-這是我們的系列
-沒錯

1636
01:25:03,687 --> 01:25:07,858
我們還可以帥氣地背對火海慢慢走開

1637
01:25:07,941 --> 01:25:09,693
但有夠夭壽熱

1638
01:25:09,776 --> 01:25:12,404
老實說，我喜歡

1639
01:25:13,238 --> 01:25:15,115
-是嗎，小雷？
-我們應該演消防員

1640
01:25:15,199 --> 01:25:17,367
你想扮成消防員？

1641
01:25:17,451 --> 01:25:19,453
我要妳扮成消防員

1642
01:25:20,454 --> 01:25:21,705
背後是不是有風？

1643
01:27:26,830 --> 01:27:32,336
《驚聲尖笑》

1644
01:27:35,088 --> 01:27:37,424
近期隆重獻映

1645
01:27:37,508 --> 01:27:39,259
來找我吧

1646
01:27:39,343 --> 01:27:40,636
布拉克伯爵

1647
01:27:41,720 --> 01:27:45,933
來自把白人電影都拍成黑人版的片商

1648
01:27:48,477 --> 01:27:52,189
我只是在吃開胃菜而已

1649
01:27:52,272 --> 01:27:56,151
你昨晚吸我奶也這麼說

1650
01:27:58,487 --> 01:27:59,988
那群姊妹會聽到

1651
01:28:00,072 --> 01:28:01,031
太遲了

1652
01:28:01,907 --> 01:28:03,075
沒骨氣的叛徒

1653
01:28:03,158 --> 01:28:04,201
我不認識這賤貨！

1654
01:28:04,284 --> 01:28:06,370
她想害我！這是仙人跳！

1655
01:28:06,453 --> 01:28:07,996
黑男都是爛咖

1656
01:28:08,830 --> 01:28:11,500
看啊，黑人吸血鬼

1657
01:28:12,167 --> 01:28:14,002
《布拉斯費拉圖》

1658
01:28:15,087 --> 01:28:17,005
今年寬扎節震撼登場

1659
01:29:31,288 --> 01:29:34,625
咕咕、咕咕

1660
01:29:35,209 --> 01:29:39,296
生日快樂，亞斯伯格

1661
01:29:39,379 --> 01:29:41,798
-事情不太對勁
-生日快樂…

1662
01:29:41,882 --> 01:29:43,509
他絕對是鬼臉

1663
01:29:44,259 --> 01:29:45,135
坐吧

1664
01:29:46,261 --> 01:29:47,888
我同意，伯格

1665
01:29:47,971 --> 01:29:50,182
那隻手應該被關一輩子

1666
01:29:50,265 --> 01:29:52,267
那隻小手，說真的

1667
01:29:52,351 --> 01:29:55,938
老實說，那玩意大概超會打手槍

1668
01:29:56,021 --> 01:29:58,315
保證爽歪歪

1669
01:29:58,398 --> 01:29:59,316
握力超緊

1670
01:29:59,399 --> 01:30:01,193
讓你的老二看起來大兩倍

1671
01:30:01,276 --> 01:30:02,110
是啊

1672
01:30:02,194 --> 01:30:03,529
我不要他幫我打手槍

1673
01:30:03,612 --> 01:30:04,947
我要先講清楚

1674
01:30:05,030 --> 01:30:07,115
-我不想被他打
-我也是

1675
01:30:07,199 --> 01:30:09,826
但被他打會像是開槍

1676
01:30:10,827 --> 01:30:11,662
打一槍就射

1677
01:30:13,413 --> 01:30:14,873
我們要拘留他

1678
01:30:14,957 --> 01:30:16,542
-好喔
-也許一天…

1679
01:30:16,625 --> 01:30:17,835
兩週，我不知道

1680
01:30:17,918 --> 01:30:19,086
我不知道這部電影多長

1681
01:30:19,169 --> 01:30:21,296
像是諾蘭的史詩屁片

1682
01:30:21,380 --> 01:30:23,674
但我要妳進去

1683
01:30:23,757 --> 01:30:25,801
給他看妳有多猛

1684
01:30:25,884 --> 01:30:26,969
上膛，開幹

1685
01:30:36,770 --> 01:30:38,564
她來了

1686
01:30:38,647 --> 01:30:40,732
生日女孩

1687
01:30:43,986 --> 01:30:45,070
我買了蛋糕

1688
01:30:46,530 --> 01:30:47,698
許個願吧

1689
01:30:49,491 --> 01:30:51,159
我的細菌！

1690
01:30:54,997 --> 01:30:56,748
吮指美味樂無窮

1691
01:30:58,292 --> 01:31:01,795
伯格探員，我只想給妳看我強硬的手

1692
01:31:01,879 --> 01:31:04,131
-不要！
-但這是迷因梗欸

1693
01:31:04,214 --> 01:31:08,093
短手先生，你是鬼臉嗎？

1694
01:31:08,677 --> 01:31:09,720
來吧

1695
01:31:11,722 --> 01:31:13,223
好痛喔，有點像…

1696
01:31:14,308 --> 01:31:16,101
-真的好痛
-夠了

1697
01:31:16,185 --> 01:31:17,352
有空談談嗎？

1698
01:31:17,436 --> 01:31:19,229
當然了

1699
01:31:20,981 --> 01:31:22,566
這張桌子需要安全氣囊

1700
01:31:22,649 --> 01:31:23,567
應該…

1701
01:31:23,650 --> 01:31:25,319
靠腰！

1702
01:31:26,195 --> 01:31:28,030
我不知道會這麼痛

1703
01:31:28,113 --> 01:31:30,741
-我們抓錯人了
-用肚臍想嘛知

1704
01:31:31,408 --> 01:31:33,243
-為什麼？
-我會通靈

1705
01:31:33,911 --> 01:31:35,162
對吼！

1706
01:31:35,245 --> 01:31:36,538
你們知道…

1707
01:31:36,622 --> 01:31:38,248
噢靠！

1708
01:31:38,332 --> 01:31:40,292
我就醬，讓我說…

1709
01:31:41,710 --> 01:31:42,836
現在怎麼辦？

1710
01:31:43,629 --> 01:31:45,339
慢慢後退

1711
01:31:45,422 --> 01:31:47,299
像我鄰居被我逮到幹我老婆

1712
01:31:47,382 --> 01:31:48,467
你們要去哪？

1713
01:31:49,134 --> 01:31:50,093
他們還搞在一起？

1714
01:31:50,928 --> 01:31:51,762
是啊

1715
01:31:53,055 --> 01:31:55,057
-很抱歉
-沒關係

1716
01:31:55,140 --> 01:31:56,517
我們現在是三人行

1717
01:35:28,270 --> 01:35:30,272
字幕翻譯：黃文俊